Miracle Center - Women's Portal

Our whole life flows like a fast stream that quickly changes everything in its path. Therefore, often because of a misunderstanding of each other, we quarrel! How bad it gets because you don't know how to get everything back to normal! It becomes especially hard from a quarrel with a person close to you - your soulmate - a guy! This often happens over trifles, but that's okay! You are just starting to get to know each other.

Often the cause of quarrels is disagreements, and no one wants to give in! This adaptation process is very long and difficult. Best of all, when all this happened before the wedding! After all, such surprises are not necessary, only good ones are better.

But if you still quarreled, then how will you reconcile? To do this, use a few tricks:

• Ahi - sighs
  Men really do not like women's tears, sobs. And you create an upset face, let out a tear, make grief - that is, play a small performance (after all, all women know how to do this) - and victory is in your pocket.


• A pleasant surprise
  Any gesture towards a man is welcome. For example, offer to invite his mother to visit (if you live together), because mother is sacred! Just as important for a man are his friends. Therefore, invite them to your place, make a small holiday just like that, for no reason. After that, your favorite will thaw!


• First step
  If you still cannot live without your loved one, time without him just stands still, so take a step towards reconciliation first! And do not remember who was to blame for the quarrel. Perhaps your loved one wanted to do it earlier, but was simply afraid, because often the initiative is punishable. But modern men are accustomed to walking with their heads held high, never admitting that they are to blame.


• Evening for two
  The best option for reconciliation is a romantic evening for two. If you do not live together, then invite him to your place, for example, write an SMS. Then he will definitely come, even if he is very offended, just for the sake of interest.
  If you live together, then create a romantic atmosphere, like lighting candles, playing romantic music, decorating the room. Take it with a view of the "five". Then hardly anyone can resist such a temptation.


• long-awaited gift
  Every person dreams of something. If you know what your loved one dreams of, and this dream is material, then make it come true. Maybe he dreamed of a new fishing rod or a gym membership. Why don't you temporarily become a good fairy that makes gifts. It will only be a small step towards reconciliation, but one that will be recorded for the future. Perhaps, after that, something interesting will be waiting for you, for example, a gift for your finger.


• Just hug
  Sometimes words are not needed. Lovers speak without words. Just come, hug, list what is very important for you: warmth of hands, gentle words, laughter, conversations in the evenings. Believe that after this there will be no trace of your quarrel.

But if the guy does not make contact?

There can be two reasons: you have greatly offended the guy or he has a heavily hung self-esteem.

Well, if you offended him greatly, then you need to get him back in every possible way: calls, sms, meetings. But in no case can not be very intrusive. Ask for forgiveness. He must understand you that in life there are a lot of different situations, even those in which he himself can get.
And if, nevertheless, the boyfriend has inflated self-esteem, then you should think hard about whether it is worth apologizing to such a complete egoist. After all, you are not obliged to “walk on your toes” before him, because then, over time, he will begin to “wipe his feet on you.”

Is it possible to reconcile with a guy via SMS?

Of course, you can write, but relationships are not phone calls and SMS, but contact between people. Therefore, you can write an SMS with an invitation for a meeting, and talk in person.

I want to tremble at the sight of me, kiss my hands, go crazy from my voice, look. To shower me with gifts, to please me with surprises, to turn my life into a fairy tale. What needs to be done for this? Many advise me to be kind, sweet, affectionate, understanding, patient, take care of him, help him. Stupid, I'm already like that and do all this, but at least he has something. So I came up with another plan!!! I will turn him into a slave! I'll drive him under the heel!
I'm a genius myself, so I'll make an equally brilliant plan. First I will quarrel with him a lot, then I will shift the blame on him, he will belittle forgiveness, and then I will take power over him. He will be just a rag, a toy! So with dumping the blame and behavior when he repents, it's easy, but how can you quarrel with him?

So, remember, what is the most diseased organ in a man? Well, self-love, of course. To quarrel with him, you can hurt him a lot. For example, to point out his mistake, preferably exactly the mistake in which he had already repented to me before. So he was very sorry that he allowed it! How lucky I am that I still remember her. It is necessary to sketch the details, embellish them, all the same, men have a worse memory, which means that he will not remember the details, and I can easily screw in new, more significant ones. By the way, do not forget to remind him that his memory is full of holes. And the speech is incoherent, and the gaze is scattered. An excellent drawing! Yes, I'll just destroy it with my story. It will not be difficult for me to come up with a reason to start a conversation about this very oversight. I'll pretend to be sad, he'll ask what's wrong with me, and then I'll tell him that I'm supposedly haunted by that thought.

After he listens (let him try not to listen) to my monologue about what a nonentity he is, that if there was a competition for critinism, he would take 2nd place, well, because he is a cretin. In general, when I finish shining with wit, he will probably start to get angry. He's still a psycho! He will yell at me that I am wrong, that he is choking with love for me, and I am so ungrateful, I took out my whole soul to him. Well, yes, let him yell, get nervous. Oh, how charming he is when he is angry, how his eyes burn! Okay, not about that. So, I will bring him to the point that he will yell at me, break loose, say a lot of nasty things to me, if I'm lucky, then he can also hit, that is, push, if I stand in his way. Then, of course, he will leave, get drunk somewhere with friends.
In the middle of the night, my beloved man will crawl to me drunk, dirty and guilty of everything, well, I'll be ready. I already have the appropriate makeup, that is, mascara smeared under my eyes, as if I had been crying all evening and half the night. Smoothly tied up my hair, something soft from clothes, in general, I will carefully prepare the image of a share girl. This is my finest hour, I'm starting to wash my brains with powder.

I'll start with an easy one, that, they say, I shouted. I will not listen to his excuses that he broke down, that he was nervous, that he is also a person. Falling down, I beg you, what are these stereotyped phrases, so every fool excuses himself! Then I will begin to recall in detail phrase by phrase, insults, accusations. All this diluted with sobs, covering the tear-stained face with pale palms, running away to another room. Then I will listen in detail to how sorry he is. How he loves that his words are nonsense, that in fact I am the best, magnificent and so on. And in the finale, drinking convulsively cool water from a transparent glass, I will remember to him that he beat (!) me. Here it is! His despair is right in front of me. Here I will say that I did not expect that if it were someone else in his place, he would never see me, but since my love and all that ... in general, I will forgive him. Shedding tears, I will hug him by the neck, I will say that even though he is a scoundrel, I cannot live without him! And that's it! It is done. He will fall on his knees before me. I think I'm a genius!
Yes, dear ladies, if you really just need to break a man, make him not a protector, but a slave, then follow the above plan. Just think about whether the man who gave you his love is worthy, keeps it and gives only you such treatment of him, should he endure such humiliation? Would you tolerate them yourself? Believe that love, reverence and adoration can be earned, for this you do not need to make brilliant plans, you just need to be yourself. The advice is banal, of course, just think about something else - if a man is already with you, then he loves you, lives, thinks, does something just for you. Men are strength, this is protection, this is the right of the first and correct word, this is your (our) support, the strongest and unshakable. No one will protect a girl, a family more reliably than a strong man. Remind your man more often that he is your best, strong, handsome, and then he will carry you in his arms, love and respect you even more. After all, we remember about the "sick organ - pride", use it for peaceful purposes.
Ekaterina Nekapriznaya

There lived a grandfather and grandmother. They lived long and fought hard. Grandfather screamed, grandmother screamed even more. One day, the grandmother ran out of patience, she went to a neighbor for advice: how to stop quarreling with her husband? The neighbor gave her "magic" water and said: "Whenever you want to quarrel with your grandfather, put this water in your mouth and you will see - the grandfather will shut up himself." That's what Grandma did. And - about a miracle! The scandals have stopped. The grandfather wants to quarrel with the grandmother, but she takes water in her mouth and is silent. The grandfather became uninteresting, and the quarrels ended.

Let's talk about "magic" water or some other medicine for family quarrels. With the help of psychologists, we will try to quarrel correctly - so that no conflict will disturb your happy family union.

If it seems to you that you quarrel with your spouse more often than others, and all other families live in peace and tranquility, then you are mistaken. There is a statistic that couples fight on average 312 times a year. A quarrel can be caused by any family reason: snoring, TV, toothpaste, open refrigerator. It is estimated that 80% of fights involve money in some way. And more interesting information: do you think that you quarrel more often than you have sex? But then again, according to statistics, 30% quarrel, like you, more often than they make love. So your pair is not knocked out of statistical errors. We hope our advice will help most families.

1. You will laugh, but the first piece of advice when arguing is not to avoid the quarrels themselves. Why? Because by avoiding them, hiding emotions, suppressing irritation, you accumulate resentment in yourself. Your memory begins to count how many grievances you have taken down, how many conflicts you have prevented. Then a small trifle-match is enough, and a quarrel arises, which is much stronger in power than those that you have endured. And it will be much more difficult to put out this quarrel. What is the result? Their number is decreasing and their strength is increasing. Do not tolerate, do not be silent, do not accumulate irritation - speak, discuss and argue a little.
2. He will surprise you too. Try to swear as calmly as possible during a quarrel. Watch your urge to shout down and interrupt, even if you think you're right. Again, try to explain as calmly as possible what you do not like. Your partner will want to scream - that's for sure. Usually, during a quarrel, the volume rises sequentially from partner to partner, but at some point it turns out that there is nowhere to increase it. The volume on your side is muted as much as possible. You don't scream. “How is it?” your partner will think. Hold on. Calmly continue the quarrel, and it will imperceptibly develop into a normal conversation.
3. During a quarrel, try to discuss exactly the topic of the quarrel. Focus on her. Do not be distracted by past grievances, mistakes and problems that you had, for example, when you were digging a garden 5 years ago. This will lead you to a dead end. Start with an open refrigerator and end with a dull shovel. Do not use quarrels to speak out on all topics in a row.
4. Are you interested in the opinion of the partner with whom you live? Both in a quarrel and in a calm atmosphere, it should be understood that this is his opinion, different from yours, but it still exists. That is why it is so important to listen to each other in a quarrel! Try, although it sounds strange, to devote half the time to expressing your opinion, and the other half to listening to your partner's point of view as well. This is right! Yes, he is entitled to a different opinion. But if you decide to keep silent, the sword of lightning from your eyes, this does not mean that you are listening. You need to hear and understand why your partner thinks differently from you.
5. Try to avoid insults. Any - offensive or harmless. This is the road to nowhere. If you allow yourself to start calling names, then sooner or later it will end in rude insults. Yes, it is really very difficult. Not only for you. Couples all over the world call each other names during an argument. And you try to do without it, no matter what feelings you experience at this moment. Remember your childhood - that's when it worked well. And now it's not worth it! You chose your partner, decided to live together. Therefore, no matter how you want to call him - this applies to you. This is your offensive name.

So, a lot of what was said above probably surprised or interested you. Try to take advantage of our advice. Or wise advice neighbors from a fairy tale about "magic" water. The main thing to remember and use in any family conflict is that the person you are quarreling with is your family! He is your favorite, he is always there. You swear not to leave forever, but just to express what worries you. Any fight must end. If you understand that the quarrel is reaching a dead end, its degree exceeds reasonable limits, and you and your partner are no longer quarreling, but hurting each other with words, stop the quarrel. Finish. Stop!

In the section on the question How to quarrel with a guy, but so that it's not me, but he ??? given by the author intricacies the best answer is why "play" with other people's feelings? if you want to quarrel with a guy, then just tell him that you don't want to meet with us, but it's not necessary to explain the reasons for your departure! Then he will begin to think about the fact that he did something wrong and will feel guilty, he will want to sort things out! I just don’t understand why to manipulate other close people? Better take care of yourself!

Answer from 22 answers[guru]

Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: How to quarrel with a guy, but in such a way that it is not me, but he who is to blame ???

Answer from Natalka[guru]
Climb in his phone, there is probably a compromising SMS)))))

Answer from User deleted[guru]
ask him to give you something that he can not afford)))

Answer from Slope[newbie]
:)))))) Wonderful wording :)) To be offended by something, to say my patience has run out, I can’t suffer like that anymore ... stop torturing me ... and stuff like that ...

Answer from Neurosis[expert]
Well, it's so easy, you can always find a reason to complain, and then inflate an elephant out of this fly, sum up, instill in him a sense of guilt and that's it!

Answer from Victoria[guru]
Easily! That he is so perfect that there is nothing to cling to? It's not when I'm not to blame... 🙂

Answer from User deleted[guru]
Gee gee))) interesting question)) Right quarrel. You can be offended that at night he supposedly didn’t kiss you back, he slept anyway, he doesn’t remember, he will start making excuses and get angry - word for word and a quarrel.

Answer from Anastasia[active]
Why is this nonsense necessary? You are an adult, so be it!! ! Guilty, not guilty, kindergarten!!!

Answer from Yyzhaya Lisa[guru]
why so sophisticated? and it's not fair! ! he has nothing to do with it, and you want to put the blame on him!! not good!! you after such muck normally you will feel??

Answer from Solntseva86[guru]
make a change!!! +)))

Answer from User deleted[expert]
yes, just tell him that he is a kazel, it is his fault, he himself is to blame for this ... and in general he is a goat and a goat in Africa, and who is to blame here! ? Of course Kazel ... and all the quarrel is guaranteed! and he's to blame!

Answer from Nya[active]
offend him, and then be offended by the fact that he was offended =)))) the result is 100%, he will also begin to apologize

Answer from Anyuta[guru]
It seems to me that we, the girls, do it very well.)) Whatever happens, I am always right, and He is to blame. And, if I decided to go to the left, then He allowed it... Wise men always adhere to the wise rule: "If a woman is wrong, you must ask her for forgiveness !!!". Do you want to fight him? So it's his fault! Think about why you decided to take this step? It means he doesn't like you! It is He!! ! But to call him guilty is not true ... It's about you. Explain to him that no one is to blame, you just don't want to be with him and that's it!

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Any woman is able to "sculpt" from her husband whatever she wants, like from melting plasticine. And the tools for this nature has given the most effective - affection, tenderness and love. True, not everyone has the strength or desire to use these tools. As a result, quarrels with her husband cannot be avoided.

Quarrels happen in any family, but it is not they that lead to the collapse of the family boat, but the behavior in their process. How to quarrel with your spouse and what absolutely cannot be done?

How to swear with your husband: taboos in quarrels that must not be violated

How to avoid mistakes that could cost you long years of marriage? To begin with, remember what is taboo in quarrels .

Rules that must not be broken

• You can't criticize your other half. Men's pride is more vulnerable than women's. If you feel that your tongue is about to fall off - “You always spoil everything!”, “Where do your hands grow from!”, “You can’t even fix the tap!”, “Dressed up like a clown again!”, “Yes You can't do anything at all!" etc. - count to 10, calm down and forget these words that are offensive to your husband. A man who is proud of grows wings, and a man who is constantly criticized loses all desire, including the desire to return home. Read also:
• Women's "things", like eye rolling, snorting, unkind scoffing, boorish "shots" etc. - this is an expression of contempt that acts on a man like a bull - a red rag.
• Dead silence, icy silence and slamming doors - they will not punish the “unscrupulous” husband and will not make him think. In most cases, everything will be exactly the opposite.
• Never do not allow yourself to quarrel with your spouse in front of strangers (and relatives too) people.
• A categorical taboo on insults and humiliation of manhood. This even the most perfect man will not be able to endure.
• Never bring up old grudges and don't compare your husband to other men.
• Do not sort things out if both of you (or one of you) are in state of alcoholic intoxication .
• Never end a fight by slamming the door or weeks of silence.

Basic rules of a quarrel: how to swear correctly?

Comparing male and female psychology is a thankless task. The cause of a quarrel is often a simple misunderstanding. The husband is angry because of the coldness of his wife, the wife - because he does not understand her, and as a result, all the accumulated problems mercilessly fall out on each other.

But the family is patience and a lot of daily work. And someone must give in. If the spouse is a wise woman, she will be able to repay or prevent the conflict in a timely manner.

What should be remembered about quarrels?

• It is easier to prevent a quarrel than to disentangle its consequences. . You feel that a storm is about to break out, and a stream of claims will splash out on you - let your spouse let off steam. Do not defend yourself, do not attack, hold back offensive words torn in response - listen calmly and answer with reason.
• If you have claims against your husband, then the worst option is to present them during a quarrel . You can’t accumulate discontent in yourself, otherwise it will cover your family with a snowball. But it is also necessary to solve problems, as you know, as they accumulate. Got a problem? Solve it right away - calmly, without shouting, without distrust, attacks and contempt. Perhaps your problem is a figment of your imagination. If you live with this person, then you trust him? And if you trust, then there is no need to follow the path of maximum resistance.
• Family life is a constant compromise. Without them, it is impossible to coexist peacefully. Therefore, resolve any issues (whether ideological or otherwise) with reason, delving into his point of view and explaining the advantages of your own. And do not be afraid to speak directly - men do not like hints and, as a rule, do not understand. An example is a holiday gift. The phrase “Oh, what beautiful earrings” a man will most likely miss, and the phrase “I want these!” take it as a guide to action. And then there will be no such problem as resentment against her husband for his inattention.
• If a quarrel could not be avoided, remember - never say words that you may regret later , and do not hit on "sore spots". Hold back your emotions. Throw out the negative and burn negative feelings in other ways (sports, manual labor etc.).
• You choose a constructive form of dialogue - offer options to change the situation, but do not blame your spouse for what happened. Firstly, it is meaningless (what happened - it happened, this is already the past), and secondly, reproaches are a step back in a relationship.
• Do not know how to express claims without emotions? Write them down on paper.
• Use the delayed start method "(as in a slow cooker). Postpone the showdown for an hour (day, week). When you cool down and calmly think about the situation, it is quite possible that there will be nothing to find out - the problem will exhaust itself.
• Look for the problem in yourself. Do not dump all the sins of the world on your spouse. If there is a quarrel in the family, then both are always to blame. Try to understand your husband - what exactly is he dissatisfied with. Maybe you really need to change something in yourself?
• If you feel that the quarrel has dragged on - take the first step towards . Even if you refuse to admit your guilt, give your spouse the opportunity to emphasize your status as a man who is always right. Let him think that it is. It is not for nothing that the phrase “a man is a head, a wife is a neck” exists among the people. Turn this "head" where you need it.
• A man should always feel that you love him. . Even during a fight. You are one, don't forget that. Read:
• Do not switch to "you", speak from your "I". Not “it’s your fault, you didn’t do it, you didn’t call ...”, but “it’s unpleasant for me, I don’t understand, I’m worried ...”.
• Humor is the best assistant in any tense situation . Not sarcasm, not irony, not scoffing! Namely, humor. He extinguishes any quarrels.
• Learn to stop in time admit they were wrong and ask for forgiveness.
• Tell him the same thing for the tenth time and he doesn't hear you? Change tactics or end the conversation .

Remember: your spouse is not your property. He is a man with his own ideas about this life, and he is a man. Do you love children the way they were born? Love your husband for who he is.

The ideal formula for marriage is to treat your spouse as a friend. If your friend is angry, nervous, screaming, you do not send him back for a list of failures and failures in your relationship? No. You calm him down, feed him and say that everything will be fine with him. Husband should be friend too who will be understood and reassured.