Question to the psychologist:
Good afternoon. My situation is as follows: I have been in a relationship for 6 years, I started dating a young man when I was 18 and he was 16. (now I am 23, he is 22) He was the first for me in the experience of a serious relationship and the first in an intimate sense. For the third year now we have been living together, keeping a common budget, both of us are working. Recently, it began to seem to me that it was time to legitimize our relationship. When I voiced my thoughts on this to him, he made it clear that for him at the moment this is not such an important thing, but I accepted his answer with hostility, not understanding what difference it makes that we already live together as a husband with wife and after the wedding, nothing essentially changes, except for the status. I love him, he does me too (at least he says so), he takes care of me, helps in everything, supports, helps my parents and friends, we know our parents, we go to visit both mine and his parents (The only his grandmother is not very happy with our relationship, because she is afraid that he will marry too early and that in general because of me he will miss his youth, will not work up, then the children will go and we will get divorced, and he will remain a young father). Everything is fine. He is now working full-time and studying part-time, so he says that the first thing that worries him the most is to finish his studies without problems. He said that he plans to marry, but not now. I told him that I needed further logical development of relations, that we were marking time, that we had been together for 6 years. I know that marriage does not guarantee happiness, and it does not equal happiness, but if this time is not enough to understand whether you need a person or not, is there any point in waiting for some kind of insight further? I asked directly, why don't we get married? He began to say that there is no finance at the moment, because. we rent our own apartment, pay for food, clothes, all the needs and study. In general, we completely contain ourselves. Then I told him that there would never be a suitable moment, there would never be extra money for a wedding, there would always be reasons where to spend money more importantly. I asked what we are doing to ensure that we have money for this business? Answer: NOTHING. Then he said that if YOU want so much, please go to the registry office tomorrow, I answered go, but apparently he expected a different answer, he began to say that he did not want such a wedding, that he wanted a normal one, with guests and celebrations. And then he said, well, let's start postponing every month, I agreed. As a result, 4 months have already passed, not a penny has been set aside due to lack of money for various reasons. He is now in a very responsible period in his studies, he is at the stage of writing a diploma. In general, all this scares me very much, all this uncertainty, because we have always had such wonderful relations and still have, but this question haunts me. We've been together for 6 years, I'm about to be 24, and he recently turned 22 and I don't know what to do. I want to be with this person, but I'm worried about his uncertainty. I understand that at 22, not every young man wants to marry because of his age, but then why is he in a relationship with me for so long, he says that it’s not just that everything is the same, but because he loves. Everyone around me asks why we don’t get married, why we’re pulling, why we’ve been together for so many years and he doesn’t call (his grandmother also showed an indicative attitude towards me as just his girlfriend, she always asks him about other girls in my presence, makes sharp remarks, to make me uncomfortable). If I were single, at this point in time I would not want to get married, I would only want to live for myself, work, take care of myself and hobbies, etc. And so I am in a relationship, I have certain duties that are performed in marriage, but in fact I am not married. I don't know what he plans next, for how long, or if he plans at all. The age difference began to frighten me, it seems to me that in a couple more years, and I will begin to want more from the family, but he will not need it. Although I never felt the difference in age, he is a serious and responsible guy. I'm afraid of wasted time, it's like an investment that will not bring profit in the end. Time is not in my favor, after all. Maybe I needed a young man older than me. I think about it more and more often, but I can’t get out of this relationship just like that, I love him. What should I do? When I strongly think that I want to get married, I start to feel unhappy, I start to whine. I don’t know if it’s worth it, it diverges, because of this. In fact, now the situation is such that I want to get married, but I don’t want to force him and that he takes this step under pressure, I want him to do it consciously, but the prospect of waiting for the weather by the sea is so-so. Maybe you should end this relationship or somehow change it? For example, to disperse and not to live together, but to meet on neutral territory? Or does this relationship have no future? On the one hand, I seem to understand that the age difference is not so big, but on this issue we do not agree, I think it is because of age. I want to marry him because I love him and want further relationships, for me 6 years of relationship is quite a long time, I can’t mentally wait anymore and don’t want to. I like the feeling of novelty, courtship, candy-bouquet period. We clearly no longer have this in a relationship, I even thought specifically to find a reason for parting, so that later we could gradually get back together, go through this whole wonderful period again, these emotions. Maybe I just want a different relationship? I can’t answer this question for myself, I have nothing to compare with, I just don’t know anything. I want everyone around me to know that I am his wife, so that he perceives me that way, so that his family already perceives me differently, more seriously. Otherwise, we live as if in a real marriage, sharing all the joys and sorrows, but we cannot formalize everything.
Of course, I understand your feelings, every girl at the age of 24 wants a legal relationship, but before making a decision that is very important for you, you need to weigh all the pros and cons. Let's try to figure out what you have at the moment? On the one hand, the desire to get married (legitimize their relationship), and on the other hand, 6 years of a happy relationship is not a simple situation for a young person (at the moment he is forced to work, study and write a diploma). At the same time, it is clear from your words that his grandmother inspires him that it is too early to get married, that you need to work up properly. Apparently, she is a great authority for him, he listens to her opinion. Most likely, for your young man, the logical conclusion after marriage is the appearance of a child, and he is not ready for this now either mentally, financially or physically, and this also scares him. It is also clear from your words that your young man wants a good, full-fledged wedding, but at the moment, since he is also studying, he cannot ensure this, you also cannot save.
Judging by the fact that your young man is only 22 years old, but he not only studies, but also earns for your life together, he is a very responsible young man and believe me, not all men even much older than him are capable of this.
I don't think a two year age difference is a reason to break up. In my practice, I came across families in which the wife is 11 years older than her husband and they are happy, because everyone found in the other what they were looking for, and this is the most important thing in family relationships.
Let your man get a diploma and only after that try to find out from him what it means to him and how he imagines a legal marriage, a wedding. Also give him your arguments and thoughts on this topic. Always remember that destroying everything is easy, but building is difficult. Have patience and wisdom.
5 Rating 5.00 (1 Vote)
congratulations to your beloved on the anniversary of the relationship
Well, it's been a year now
Be patient with me, my love,
It brings joy along the rivers,
When you caress with your eyes.
My love, happy anniversary
I want to congratulate you on our
We are both loved and friends -
What could be better and more beautiful?
This day is another
Milestone of our way;
I am with you, and I know for sure:
I can't find better!
Every day is unique
Every moment is like a century...
Always be with me, my love
My dear man!
I'll hide the saw away
And I'll buy you a beer for dinner.
And the fake word "marriage"
I will replace it with a gentle word: "cute"
Let the years fly by like an arrow
Let bad weather tear the sky apart
For many years I breathe only you
And I know that there is happiness in the world!
A year with you is like a moment
Bright and happy.
You are the best and dearest,
You are kind and beautiful!
I want to meet you all my life
At our doorstep...
Happy anniversary dear
May there be many!
We've been together with you for so many years
My support and shoulder
My protector, my hope,
I kiss you warmly!
I want you to be a knight
In making the right decisions
Loving, I congratulate you
Happy relationship anniversary!
A whole year like one day
Together we were with you.
You to me new world opened
World of love, earthly love!
I have to close my eyes
I see your face again!
I will always love
My favorite, dear!
Today, baby, I want
Just one thing to say to you:
Until I met you
Was unhappy on earth.
I was sad and sad.
But, a year ago, in spring/winter
I met you and I know:
You have now become my destiny.
This year, the very first and happiest,
Flew in an instant, like a star in the sky.
I am grateful to you, dear and beloved,
That was always by my side.
And I say "thank you" to you
For love, kindness and care.
I want to meet the dawn with you
Mo is a desirable and fabulous someone.
Darling, today we celebrate
Our first year spent together!
I passionately enjoyed this year!
Love swirled us whirlpool!
I want these years to be countless
We lived without grief and worries!
Luckily the two roads crossed!
May happiness always be with you!
I want to be with you forever!
I don't want to be separated even for an hour!
I don't need more happiness in my life
Than what we have with you now!
Today there is another reason
You confess, numb and numb:
I am very, very glad that you are with me,
And this is the most important thing for me!
May I not draw wisdom from books,
But I wouldn't be a real man
If I forgot in such a happy moment
Congratulations on our anniversary!
A year with you Like on a volcano -
You burn me, you beckon
Come closer to you
The flame seems to lick the heels!
But you know me
You understand at a glance
Congratulations on your anniversary!
You are my destiny, I know.
Our holiday is quiet - the anniversary of the relationship,
We will not hear extraneous congratulations,
I want to wish you good luck in everything,
We love, it means a lot.
Let the time go
We are not afraid of it
We are with you
It's gonna be all right!
And for me it's a reward
I adore you dear
And you don't need more
I love you madly!
Day of our love
And shared happiness.
We are walking side by side
And in a thunderstorm, and in bad weather.
When loved ones are together
They don't care about any barriers.
And the stronger their love
The stronger the relationship.
We will celebrate six months of relationship
And we will make plans for the future.
I want tonight's our own evening
You just need to pick a verse.
It doesn't matter what happened before
I've been zeroing everything since then
Like our first kiss was the beginning
It's like we made a love pact.
A year has passed since then
When we had our first conversation.
And on this day I want to say
What better is not to be desired.
You can't imagine a stronger relationship.
And there is no friendlier couple in love.
So much time, well, who would have thought?
We have been together for 5 years!
Our feelings have been tested by time.
Let warmth surround us
Happiness, peace, harmony, trust,
Understanding, kindness, kindness.
I promise to love you faithfully
Take care of our happiness with you.
Cause I can't live a day without you
I will drive away all the bad weather from the relationship!
We are like a family. And I love you.
We are very tightly bound by fate.
I thank heaven for you!
Today the whole world is only ours with you!
Don't talk about love!
You can spoil everything with words.
You prove it with deeds
Eyes, tenderness, lips,
Shower with fragrant flowers,
Don't talk about her out loud.
My sweet, gentle, dear,
My best and favorite!
My affectionate, so dear
And so necessary in life!
Let me tell you that I
warmed by the warmth of your soul,
And the star of love, grief,
Life shines with wondrous light!
What is happiness, I don't know
But, meeting the new year,
I understand and I don't understand
How to store it so that forever?
I just know: not at all on a platter
It lies with a golden border.
Maybe happiness is what will happen to us,
Not something long gone.
I'll sharpen my pencils
I'll put the frame on the easel
And you draw, draw, write
Everywhere is always only my portrait!
Blessed be that day and hour
(Such is the power in art!),
In which we are unfamiliar
Fate has united forever!
I put a bit of white on my face,
May you love me even more!
You and I have known each other for six months,
We know almost everything about each other
And for the holiday today there is a weighty reason,
I confess my love to you.
I want us to be together forever
So that our hearts beat in unison,
To have a reliable shoulder nearby,
Just to be good to us.
You are the best on the planet
I've been lucky with you in my life
Let the boat of happiness blow a fair wind,
Let her swim in the river of love easily.
Congratulations on the half year of our meeting,
I wish her a happy continuation
So that we are always together,
So that separation forgets our address forever.
What a wonderful time spent with you
I admire you more and more every day
You are the best, kindest on earth,
My feelings are very strong for you.
Six months, as we are together, congratulations,
I always wish you to be happy
Let the dream always come true
Let love last for many years.
When you're around, I'm always warm
And my heart is so clear and easy.
To you I rush always faster
And I give you more tender congratulations.
Five years of joint relationship,
Five years of joint accomplishments.
You are the builders of your own happiness,
We wish you to enjoy it in sweetness.
Dream that the world is beautiful
We can for the fifth year in a row.
And often dream of love
And they call - sometimes.
Five years passed over the earth
And we didn't notice them.
After all, the days of our strong love
Merged into one fabulous moment.
Confession of love let him say
How much they mean to me
5 years is not even a year, it's even
And again the drops run, ringing.
May we never get bored
Sincerely appreciate each other
And even if life teaches
We will believe and love!
Your relationship is only five,
We will still congratulate you.
And hand in hand, holding, you confidently go,
And we wish you to find the path to happiness.
Even though we met a long time ago
Already five years ago
I remember every moment
The meeting that connected us.
As time went on, we became very attached to each other.
Now there can be no life without you.
I am happy that I became love, the best friend.
And the purpose of all life is to live, loving you.
You are my incentive to do something, I adore you, you excite me again and again, and excite my blood!
I love you, my joy, and I want to always be with you. May our happiness be endless, and may love be great and pure.
The person who calls you by your last name most often loves you the most.
I want your SMS messages to wake me up in the morning. Well, as usual, you try for one thing, but fall in love with a completely different one.
I love it when we are together and do not sleep until late at night, Remember: I wait, I hope, I believe and I miss you very, very much!
It seems to me that the sun no longer warms, and the stars seem to me to shine dimmer; the moonlight has become dull, joyless, and all because you are not around!
You shine more often and brighter, so that time in separation flies like a moment! I miss.
I am happy to say that I love you madly! You are the ideal, you are my hero, I want to be always with you!
I can't imagine my life without you! I love you so much!
Can you imagine what a terrible world I live in while you are not around? I miss you, my love
I want to tell the whole world that I don’t have you dearer, that I miss you, I want to see you soon, my love!
You are light for me, you are darkness for me, if you are not there, I just go crazy. I'll be waiting for you, I'll burn bridges, just be able to understand that only you are in my heart!
For me, support, hope is my husband,
My most faithful and only friend,
We share joys, sorrows in half,
If we are together, we can do anything.
Happy cast-iron wedding, my love, congratulations,
I wish you good health and longevity,
Whatever you think, let it always come true
Let life flow like a full river.
Six years of love the fire is burning
And every day it gets brighter
I can't imagine life without you, my dear,
I'm behind you, like behind a stone wall.
I sincerely wish you a beautiful, bright life,
Let nothing upset you
Let love warm us for a long time.
I thank fate every day
For the fact that I live in paradise,
With you, dear, I'm safe and warm,
With you, we will overcome everything.
We celebrate the day of the cast-iron wedding,
I congratulate you, beloved,
Let your heart beat for a long, long time
Well, life, let it be a full cup.
You are my beloved husband
My own spouse
Six happy years
We lived with you.
I wish you,
More happiness in life
I cover with love
And I take away bad weather.
Six years - happiness and love.
Six merry years we lived with you.
Together we went through a lot of troubles,
You brought money, I cooked dinner.
I wish dear, my man and friend,
So that there is more happiness and goodness around.
Children to love, remember friends.
I love you husband - I'm yours forever.
My dear friend, we are with you
Our century with you is called cast iron.
But we live with love
Before the fiery wedding - diamond.
I promise honestly from the bottom of my heart
That I will spoil you and undead.
Hug me, hurry up
I wish you fresh impressions.
A cast-iron wedding is worth something!
We lived a lot with you
We have made a lot of wealth
There are kids running around.
You are my real man
And behind your back is cozy and easy,
I wish that life was - raspberry,
So that happiness is great!
Our feelings did not break, saved for the anniversary,
A wedding holiday, cast iron - they waited a long time and could!
Six years have flown by, the temple has been erected with love,
Husband: dear, beloved, let your eyes burn.
Forget what happened, let's start with a clean slate,
I forgot all the insults, because I am yours,
And a cast-iron trough, will soon be able to change,
It is only necessary to understand, to live our lives.
Our marriage union has passed the test,
For six years we carried this joyful load,
With you forever, I'm not afraid of anything
And my husband, I'm terribly proud.
Cast iron wedding and celebration of the rings,
The seething of blood and the craving of hearts,
Love and soul - we are forever together,
We carry our feelings through the years.
Beloved, dear - let the iron date,
Does not hit the budget, will not be a cost.
Waking up with you is always glad in the morning,
You are my happiness, a reward for the bride.
Six years soul to soul and we can still,
And neither envy nor evil frightens us,
A recipe for love, we found with our beloved,
Only six years, everything is still ahead.
6 years as if in a fairy tale flew by,
We are side by side, the two of us are so good,
More than once the leaves flew from the trees,
And in our hearts, as for the first time, it is light.
Happy wedding anniversary, I congratulate you
I wish, dear, happiness and kindness,
God bless you and good luck
Hot love for many years.
Every day my love for you is stronger
You are the most beautiful in the world
Happily 6 years together we live,
You and me and our dear children.
I congratulate you on your cast-iron wedding,
I wish you to live in prosperity and love from the bottom of my heart,
May fortune always smile on you
May fate worship you.
You are my other half
Support and hope, my family,
6 years as we are together,
We have only one way of life.
Today we celebrate our wedding anniversary
We will invite relatives and friends to the holiday,
I heartily congratulate you, my dear,
May God give us joy to live until the golden wedding.
Currently, the psychology of relationships very often pays attention to periodic crises in the life of couples in love. For each of them, despite external well-being, something may not go well or even fall apart. One of the partners suddenly begins to notice the shortcomings of the other: scattered things, slowness while getting ready for a walk, loud steps, etc. Everything that used to seem funny suddenly became unbearable. You call friends, complaining about your own irritability and talking about the familiarity of the relationship. And every day, reluctantly returning home, you ask yourself: “What to do next?”
If you find yourself in such a situation, then you should not torment yourself, your soulmate and friends with your own irritability. You need to understand that a crisis in a relationship occurs in all couples without exception. Even those who have been together for more than a quarter of a century face this. Hence, naturally, contradictions arise, ranging from a reassessment of values and ending with a radically new look at the way of life.
It is not easy for many to go through their own crisis, but if we are talking about two people who are in this state, then it will take a lot of time, patience, love and mutual respect to maintain a relationship.
We list the most common symptoms, the appearance of which indicates the onset of a crisis:
In the life of any couple, there are several turning points. Let's consider them in more detail.
As a rule, it begins after 6 months of relationship. This period is especially difficult for a couple who live together and are trying to arrange a family life.
Features of the manifestation: "everyday life" prevails over romance, and the "rose-colored glasses" fall off the future spouses. Lovers begin to notice the habits and behaviors of each other, which were not even suspected before. For example, it turns out that a woman takes a bath for 2 hours and does not know how to cook, and a man does not clean up after himself and grinds his teeth in his sleep.
Partners should learn to calmly discuss exciting issues and contradictions so that certain norms and rules can be developed in the relationship that suit both. If this does not happen, then the lovers will part. According to the statistics of family psychologists, about 90% of couples break up in the first year.
Therefore, if you really have strong feelings for your soul mate, then try to survive the crisis in the relationship. 1 year is the time when partners should listen to each other and look for compromises. Go ahead.
Some psychologists distinguish between this and the previous periods one more. This is a 2 year relationship crisis. We will not talk about it separately, since it is very similar to the turning point of 3 years. The crisis of 2 years may not come. Everything will depend on when the children arrive. After all, the appearance of a child is a serious stress for newly-made parents, as they have to radically change their usual way of life.
The same can be said about the crisis of 5 years of relations. The 3 year period is just a guideline. No one knows when the couple will have a crisis, which is why experts have set a conditional framework in the range from 2 to 5 years. During this time period, the partners may have a second (after 1 year) critical stage. We now turn to a discussion of the period included in the subheading.
Features of manifestation: for time life together the couple's relationship is taken to a new level. The lovers recognize all the shortcomings and virtues of each other, the “grinding” ends. Some have children.
The waiting period for the firstborn is the most prosperous. The husband takes care of his wife, protecting her from negative situations, helping with the housework, trying not to upset her once again. But all this can be described as the calm before the storm.
The crisis in the relationship occurs when the child is already born. The wife turns her attention to the baby and practically does not pay it to her husband. Due to sleepless nights, irritation and fatigue accumulate. In addition, sexual desire in the postpartum period is reduced. These factors often lead to alienation. Everything seems to be fine, the baby is born and was born healthy. A woman with a child in her arms needs more support, but right now a man has a desire to go “left” to young girls and forget about family problems at least for a short period.
Respect and flexibility should be shown to the opinion of the partner in order to survive the critical time - 3 years. A relationship crisis can also arise due to disputes over the upbringing of a child. In this matter, the couple should also develop a common line of conduct.
This is one of the most unstable and "mysterious" periods in a couple's life. Its conditional boundaries are from 7 to 9 years of marriage.
Features of the manifestation: the mystery lies in the fact that all areas of the psyche and human life overlap each other. One of the spouses may begin a midlife crisis. If there are children, then the couple will experience all the manifestations of their age characteristics (either 3 or 7 years old). During these periods, offspring can become the most naughty and unpredictable fidgets in the world, capable of unbalancing even the most emotionally stable parents.
In addition, significant changes can occur at work: career advancement, business development. All this imposes additional duties on the spouses and increases their responsibility.
Also, partners compare their past dreams with reality, and for most they do not match reality, leading to disappointment. Spouses begin to feel that life has become monotonous.
If your couple has had a crisis of 7 years of relationship, then the best way out of it will be to bring new joint activities and hobbies to life. Stock up on patience. To survive this turning point, you will need it more than ever.
The boundaries of this period are quite wide and vary around 5 years (from 15 to 20 years of marriage). "Adolescent crisis in relationships" - this is the name given to him by family psychologists.
Features of the manifestation: the spouses look back at their lives and count the ups and downs, comparing their own achievements with the successes of acquaintances and friends. Usually both partners are at the stage of an age crisis and are engaged in a reassessment of values (intra-family and their own). Often they ask themselves the question: “Did I do the right thing by linking my life with this person?” By the way, the children have grown up and become independent. If they want to lead an independent lifestyle, partners will again have to learn to live together. If, during a reassessment of values, each of the spouses realizes that he has lived these years with a person who sincerely gives his feelings, then the crisis in the relationship will quickly end, the union will become stronger, and the feelings will become even brighter and stronger. If the ideas of partners do not coincide with reality, then a “war” may break out with an unpredictable outcome.
Very soon, a silver wedding, all friends and acquaintances look with envy at the happy couple, but for some reason there is discord in the family.
Features of the manifestation: women begin menopause during this period, and men try to look younger, watch their figure and make greasy jokes towards young girls (although they didn’t allow themselves to do this before). They can be understood: a career is made, children have grown up, material prosperity is provided ... What else to strive for? Men, unlike women, are more difficult to realize their weakness. It is difficult for them to admit their own lack of demand. On the contrary, the strong half will actively prove to others that the “gunpowder in the powder flasks” has not yet ended.
But what about the spouse? Does she have much-needed moral support at this time? In most cases, no! By the silver wedding, 90% of women become grouchy old women. This is partly due to the fact that after so many years of marriage, the partner simply got tired, well, the list of his sins over the years has become too long.
How to survive this stage? Spouses should remember their youth and arrange a honeymoon for themselves. You can go on a trip that you have long dreamed of, or take up some new sport.
So, we examined the crisis of family relations over the years. Know that in any turning point there are two stages: the beginning and the end. Having learned this, it will be possible to easily cope with any difficulties. In addition, the crisis is an objective thing. It occurs in the life of any couple, regardless of whether the spouses are good or bad.
Describing crises in relationships, the periods of which vary greatly, we have already given some tips on how to deal with them. Now let's dwell on this topic in more detail and give some universal recommendations for overcoming tipping points.
In this difficult period, think about how pleasant surprises can decorate your life. For example, after work, you go home in a bad mood, expecting a scandal, you open the door, and in the hallway there are a bunch of balloons and the inscription "Welcome". Such non-standard actions will bring a sea of positive emotions and strengthen the belief that everything will change for the better.
To fight the crisis, the couple needs to prepare mentally. Both partners should want this. After all, a conflict situation is a consequence of misunderstanding between spouses. Even if one person tries to establish family relationships, this will not be successful. It takes a collaborative effort to make things right.
When a crisis occurs, the psychology of relationships teaches not to look for negativity in a partner, but to pay attention to one's own behavior. Both are to blame for this! Therefore, stop telling your soulmate: “It's your fault!”, “You are good”, “Look at yourself”, etc. Find out what exactly has changed in your life experience, work on self-esteem, and also try to give your loved one confidence in yourself.
Whatever happens to your relationship, don't let it negatively affect your intimate life. On the contrary, the quality of sex should increase! No headaches, tediousness, habits or fatigue! Make sex a variety, find out the secret desires and preferences of your spouse, experiment!
Good sex strengthens relationships and allows you to look at your soulmate from an intimate side, which makes you closer. It also helps in solving most of the problems: excessive grouchiness, unwashed dishes, an empty refrigerator, dissatisfaction with uncleaned socks, distance from each other and many others.
Shared memories play a huge role in the area of family and family relationships. Therefore, psychologists advise to return to them in crisis situations. Your acquaintance, date, first kiss, sex, favorite music... But the greatest benefit will be not from simple memories, but from joint visits to memorable places.
Thank your partner daily for everything they do. Even for the most real trifle. For example: “Darling, thanks for taking me to work! You are so caring!". Or, “Honey, thanks for the hemmed pants! I would have had a hard time without you!" By the way, you need to thank your loved one not only in crisis situations. Make it your habit.
Don't gloss over problems. Often, offended by a loved one, we experience everything inside ourselves. This is due to a false stereotype, according to which quarrels and scandals do not paint a man and a woman. But you don’t need to express your resentment by shouting loudly and smashing everything around. Just calmly explain to your spouse what exactly he offended you. A very common situation is when one partner does not even know the reasons for the offense of the second and does not understand the motives of his behavior. This is where myths about nasty husbands or capricious and bitchy wives come from. In general, a frank conversation will help clarify all the unpleasant moments and in the future will allow you to be more attentive to the feelings of your partner.
One of the best ways to build relationships. Even if you don’t really want to take it on, it still unites. For example, buy a camera and learn it together, sign up for a dance school, etc.
A relationship crisis is a negative, painful, and complex phenomenon. Don't dwell on it. Think positively even in difficult situations. Also change the wording of your phrases. Instead of, "I hardly see you," say, "Let's spend more time together." Do not delve into the shortcomings of a loved one, but concentrate on his virtues.
Sometimes living together satiates the spouses, and they get tired of each other. This is especially acute at critical moments. If you are experiencing a severe lack of inner or outer freedom, move away from your partner for a while. Visit your parents, meet friends, go to a seminar. Do this until you really get bored.
The crisis of family relations over the years can be compared with the passage of a new round in the spiral of living together. Someone ignores him, turning a chronic conflict into an acute one, while someone allows the family to change and develop, polishing relationships. After all, when each such milestone is passed, affection and love are transformed and reach a higher level. So, at the age of 1, the love of "eros" is transformed into a strong feeling of "agate". From 2 to 5 years, the fruit of love may appear - a child. For the 7th year, the relationship of partners becomes familiar, cozy and freer. By the 15th year, the feelings of the spouses will go through serious tests and will be significantly strengthened, and at the 25th year they will turn into tender and deep affection. Already, as a rule, forever!
