Hello, Ilya Dmitrievich!
Joint family life can be imagined as a marathon distance, where not all couples reach the finish line: they live together all their lives until old age, while others leave it for various reasons. But it should be noted that any more or less long-term relationship between two partners, as a rule, is not without crises.
Divorce is the easiest way to resolve interpersonal problems that have been building up in a marriage for a long time. But what to do if a pre-divorce situation arose in the family?
In the beginning, it is important to understand what you really want: to change the relationship and take it to the next level, or to do it "the way it used to be."
If you are more attracted to the first option, then get ready for the fact that you may have to work alone and not wait for your wife to immediately meet you halfway. It is a slow and difficult process, but always productive.
If you are attracted to the second option, then think about why you need “as before”? Such a relationship has already led you to a pre-divorce situation once. To do as before means to secure your life from quarrel to quarrel.
I suggest that you focus all your efforts on the first option and try to do your best. And “as always” can be done without effort. If you're ready for the recovery process, here are a few steps to get your relationship back on track. In this case, it doesn’t matter what exactly caused the crisis in the relationship: betrayal, early marriage, a clear lack of one of the partners (alcoholism), a crisis year, something else (add yourself).
Sequence of steps:
Sincerely, Pleshkova V.V.
Changes to the marriage contract must be made in writing with the notary's certification signature. When faced with problems related to marriage, divorce, alimony, we recommend that you contact qualified practicing family law lawyers: For Moscow and the Moscow Region phone: Russian legislation lists only two grounds for changing a marriage contract: Violation of essential conditions should be understood as such a violation, as a result of which one of the spouses lost to a greater extent what he could hope for when signing the marriage agreement.
For the correct preparation of the document, you will need an example of a marriage contract filled out, in which you can visually familiarize yourself with the correct prescribing of the essential conditions, the features of the preparation, the main details of the document. Such a sample can be found on the Contract-Online portal.
With regard to the marriage contract, it is necessary that the marriage contract is valid both in relation to the existing and in relation to the future property of the spouses. In the latter case, the moment of entry into force of the marriage contract will be the time indicated in the document. Conversely, the spouses have the right to decide that the effect of their marriage contract extends to the rights and obligations that arose before its conclusion. Thus, it is possible to conclude a marriage contract both for the future and with retroactive effect.
Hello. I am married. I want to buy an apartment in another city. My parents give me money to buy an apartment and want it to be mine personally, so that in the event of a divorce from my husband, it would not be divided in half. The husband agrees to the marriage contract. How to conclude it without knowing the address of the apartment that we will buy? The notary, to whom we turned, said that it was impossible to conclude without an address. Is it then possible to conclude a marriage contract for a period, for example, “in the period from May to June, the property acquired by the spouses belongs to the one who acquired it” or is this not done? We want to install a separate property only on this apartment.
RTS filed a lawsuit against REA to declare the marriage contract invalid. In support of the claim, the plaintiff indicated that on October 14, 2000, a marriage was registered between the plaintiff and the defendant. During the period of marriage, they acquired an object of construction in progress, which is their joint property, namely the foundation, with a total area of 80 sq.m., letter "A". The value of the property at the time of purchase was 11,160 rubles. The specified object of construction in progress was registered for the defendant.
Legislation allows the possibility of concluding a marriage contract not only upon entering into marriage, but also at any time during marriage. A draft marriage contract can be drawn up and signed before marriage, but it will enter into force only from the moment of state registration of marriage.
Unfortunately, sometimes even the strongest marriage unions break up. This happens for various reasons. For example, a man left the family and left his wife with children, or vice versa, the woman herself left her husband. However, the property acquired during the marriage remains. So what will happen to the joint things after the dissolution of the marriage?
The ways in which spouses participate in each other's income in accordance with the marriage contract can be very diverse. Income refers to all types of wages and additional remuneration of spouses in cash (national or foreign currency) and in kind. They also include income from entrepreneurial activities without forming a legal entity, from shares and from participation in the management of the property of organizations and citizens. In addition, this also includes income received as a result of the use (for example, leasing) of property or land (Article 136 of the Civil Code). Income can also be received on any other basis established by law. Spouses have the right to choose any method of distributing their income, establishing, for example, that the income of each of them is the separate property or shared property of the spouses (with the definition of the share of each - 1/3 and 2/3, etc.).
Svetlana and Sergey Gladkov* got married in March 2007 and soon started thinking about buying a home. In October of the same year, Svetlana took a loan from Sberbank in the amount of 750,000 rubles. Part of this money, namely 250,000 rubles, was paid by the spouses as a deposit for an apartment, the rest was planned to be used for repairs, the purchase of furniture and household appliances. In May of the following year, the Gladkovs became the owners of their own living space in Anapa, a mortgage agreement with Sberbank for 2.25 million rubles. was also issued to Svetlana, and Sergey acted as a guarantor for both loans. Gladkova was listed as the sole owner of the apartment in the certificate of ownership.
1. By a marriage contract, the spouses have the right to change the statutory regime of joint ownership (Article 34 of this Code), to establish the regime of joint, shared or separate ownership of all the property of the spouses, of its separate types or of the property of each of the spouses.
Let's imagine the following situation. Five years ago, a resident of Moscow married a provincial woman, a graduate of a secondary school. He has a promising business, she has good looks and culinary skills. The young spouse, in order to protect the financial and property assets of his company in the event of a possible divorce, initiates the conclusion of a marriage contract with the young spouse. According to its terms, the husband owns 2/3 of the common property, the wife has the right to claim only 1/3.
For example, you can agree that the purchase will belong to the family member in whose name it is registered. In this case, a sample marriage agreement on separate property will look something like this: “A car (motorcycle, house, land) acquired during marriage is the property of the spouse in whose name it is registered.”
“Since a marriage contract regulates property relations between spouses, therefore, the subject of the contract is the property of both the joint and each of the spouses,” explained “RG” in the Federal Notary Chamber. - So, you can indicate that, for example, in your dacha you can live in turn in case of a divorce, all household appliances will be taken by the wife, and the husband will get the garage. By mutual agreement, when concluding a marriage contract, the spouses may change the regime of joint ownership established by the Family Code.
The ex-husband did not fulfill his obligations, the wife did not insist, they also got back together.
Now former spouse in order to avoid “you never know what” wants to make changes by removing this obligation (so that, for example, she could not oblige him through the court), the spouse agrees to sign anything on this subject.
And they lived happily ever after ... This is where the fairy tale ends and family life begins, where many disappointments await us, including divorce. It's hardest to say goodbye after a long time family life. How to prevent divorce after 15 years of marriage and how to survive it? This needs to be discussed in more detail.
It would seem that the characters agreed (if it were otherwise, there would be a divorce after a year of relationship), the children are already quite old, many difficulties are behind. What pushes a husband and wife to divorce after so many years of family life. Here are just the main reasons and how to eliminate them.
The crisis of 15 years of marriage is connected with the fact that the child turns into a teenager and begins to separate from the family. It is also not easy for the children themselves during this period, but the husband and wife can perceive all this as the collapse of the family. There is nothing to worry about, children sooner or later must leave the family and build their own lives. And there is nothing wrong with the fact that it will not be similar to yours.
What to do? Relax the boundaries of the family, giving children freedom. The wife must remember that she is not only a mother, but also a spouse, as well as a woman.
Also, the cause may be an age crisis in a man who wants to feel young, so he goes into all serious trouble. Even the most faithful husband can take a mistress just to show himself that he is still young.
After 15 years of marriage, fatigue and a desire to live for yourself may well roll in. Is it worth it to file for divorce if fatigue overwhelmed you at the same time? If the children are small, then it is unlikely. In addition, you can understand the reasons for the routine and rebuild your relationship in a fundamental way. Perhaps, after so many years of family life, it will not be easy, but it is necessary to try.
For many years of living together, there should be many of them. Sometimes it becomes a tradition. A wife may blame her husband for putting her career on the altar of marriage, a husband often blames his soul mate for not being able to realize his own desires or build a business. In fact, both understand that family and children cannot be a hindrance to anything, but it's easier to put the blame on someone.
What to do? Talk directly about all the problems and compare your points of view. Perhaps the help of an intelligent psychologist is needed here, otherwise the whole conversation will again slip into mutual accusations. By the way, sometimes a feeling of dissatisfaction or guilt is hidden behind the accusations.
Like it or not, but people get married for pleasure. From sex, from your aspirations and hobbies, from communication. For 15 years of marriage, it may be lost, which will make the meaning of your family illusory. Divorce is not the only way out.
You can find new common hobbies, start your own business, start playing sports or gardening together, set new goals. By the way, this will later help to survive that sad period when children separate from you.
Or husband. Very often we endure some shortcomings and problems, put up with them, try to eradicate them, and then put up with them again. It can be a husband's love for alcohol, his wife's inability to cook, and much more ... Patience can come to an end at any time, including after 15 or 20 years of marriage. If the other half does not think to improve in any way, then only a divorce will save the situation. And if not him, then terrible things can happen by the end of life. Do you know how many grandmothers in women's prisons who, after half a century of living together, killed their husband?
If divorce is inevitable, it remains only to start everything from scratch. What can not be done after a divorce is to switch all attention to children. No, they are also having a hard time with your separation and they need attention, but overprotection and too active upbringing will not lead to anything good. If you are the mother of a girl, you can’t convince her that all men are ... the same as her husband who left. Of course, you can’t throw out the negativity left after a divorce on your children.
In addition, one should not give free rein to black and gloomy thoughts. We replace them with good and positive ones. You are not afraid of loneliness, but free. You are not an old, useless person, but an experienced and mature, therefore interesting. If he (or she) has a young mistress (or lover), then you can too. If it seems to you that now you have nothing to do with yourself, think about the fact that you have a lot of free time and unrealized interests. You should not dwell on the thought that if the divorce had happened earlier, it would have been easier for you. Better think about the fact that you lived happily for 15 years.
Also, do not continue conflicts with your spouse and constant accusations. That's what a divorce is for, to stop it. Perhaps over time you will become friends and even continue to support each other. But at first it is better not to contact the former soul mate.
And what you need to do is to forgive your husband or wife for your separation. Do not blame yourself and your ex, this is a fruitless and unproductive exercise.
Don't get depressed. It is better to start a new business and start communicating with new people. Will help from depression and sports. You understand that in a beautiful and healthy body there is a beautiful and healthy soul. Put the body in order, and after it the nervous system will arrive in time. Choose what suits you.
Understand that at 40, as well as at 50 (and at 60) years, life is just beginning. It's time to try yourself in something new. Do not seek to immediately start a new relationship: live for yourself for now. This way you will better understand who you are.
Surely, for so many years of family life, you have already forgotten how it is to love yourself: everyday life and routine greatly hinder self-love. And now it's time to remember. Understand how attractive you are, remember what you once wanted and give others the opportunity to pay attention to you. We do not lock ourselves in. Most family people dream that they have more time for themselves. Now you have it. Fulfill your desires.
At 40, this is just as real as it is at 50, 60 and beyond. Right now. You can open your own business, and try to turn your hobby into a job, and many other things to try. Finally find your way. Now you need to pay maximum attention to your interests. By the way, during this period, the former half may express a desire to renew the family. Is it worth giving old relationships new life and a new chance - you decide. If you want, try it.
If divorce after so many years of living together was the only way out, you should not think that life is over. It's time to love yourself again and realize that in fact we are all alone and there can be no one closer than ourselves. And further. Even after the most difficult divorces and breakups, reunions and relationship resets happen.
