"Love him! I can’t imagine life without him, but we are so bored together. And it's not like it used to be like that. I just realized at some point that there was nothing to even talk about. Advise what to do? - such messages can often be found on forums dedicated to the relationship between a man and a woman. Indeed, even the happiest and strongest couple is not immune from periods of recession, when spending time together comes down to sitting at computers (each behind his own) and indifferent: “How are you at work?”. But this does not mean at all that people who find themselves in a similar situation should definitely run away, put an end to further relationships and look for happiness somewhere else. For starters, it’s worth at least trying to breathe life into a frozen connection and make it brighter.
Most of the "advisers" on the same forums for some reason answer that if boredom seems even a little bit in a relationship, they should be ended immediately. To leave for a while, to leave for good - as if only in this modern people see the solution to the problem. Our grandmothers and mothers usually answer such remarks: “We used to fix everything, but now they prefer to immediately buy a new one.” And after all, there is some truth in this - is it really necessary to flee the ship at the first difficulties? Why not try to overcome them together with your loved one, thereby making the relationship even stronger and more trusting? The main thing is to remember that only joint efforts can lead to a positive result: if only one flounders, and the other sits and waits for these floundering to lead to something, then absolutely nothing will work.
Start by voicing your feelings. It sounds strange, but it also happens: one does not find a place for himself from the feeling that something is going wrong, and the other does not notice anything like that. By talking, you will kill two birds with one stone: tell your loved one about doubts and fears and find out if he feels that the relationship has become insipid. Boredom means that you are not fulfilling some of your needs in a relationship. It’s not enough just to be aware of them, you need to talk about needs without forcing your partner to guess about your hidden desires. In addition, you should also understand that interest in the needs of a loved one is an important component of a harmonious and not boring relationship.
Psychologists are sure that a self-sufficient person who is not bored with himself is much more likely to be interesting to others than someone who expects others to entertain him. Take up something interesting, like a hobby. Feel that you are able to enjoy every day, regardless of whether you had a long heart-to-heart talk with your loved one or not.
You yourself will not notice how, having become interesting for yourself, arouse a keen interest in your partner: a girl with eyes burning with excitement and enthusiastically talking about what dance moves she learned today will involuntarily attract the attention of her man.
And change the environment around you, but also together. Nothing helps to breathe life into a boring relationship like a change that two started side by side with each other. Stop going to your usual restaurant: let them cook delicious food there, but you try the cuisine of another institution, and then either be glad that you have discovered something new, or spit and return to the proven place. Or arrange a rearrangement, but do not quarrel, try to listen to each other's opinions. Well, and, finally, if funds and time permit, go on vacation. Do not go to Greece for the third time in a row, it is better to visit a country in which you have never been, say, Austria or China. The main principle is to comprehend new things together, share impressions, be surprised and enjoy moments of unity.
Start taking the first steps by leaving a cute note in his jacket pocket or sending a romantic text when he doesn't expect it at all. Another good option is heart-shaped scrambled eggs for breakfast. Would you say sweet and childish? But remember the time when you were good with each other and, most importantly, not bored. Surely then you were just starting to meet and behaved like children. So why not revive this wonderful period of your relationship?
We talked about this earlier, but now we will analyze this point in more detail. Let's say your man is a fan of cycling. He rides around the city for the whole weekend, calling with him, and every now and then you refuse, surprised later that you have absolutely nothing in common. So why not try to ride with him at least once? May not like it, but at least each of you will know that you tried. It is very important for a man to understand that there is a reliable support and support in the person of his beloved woman nearby.
In most cases, when a relationship gets boring, the first thing to look at is yourself. We are ready to blame the partner, but in fact it is not he who has changed, it is our expectations and desires that have changed. We mentally live in the “candy-bouquet period”, while in the yard the stage is already more serious and mature relationship. Look at the situation sensibly, analyze what is happening to you, and take steps towards your loved one - you should not expect him to do everything for you.
Hello it's again Lesha Doc.
And this article will come in handy for those guys who are wondering " What to do if a girl is bored?»
By the way, i made 3 new products
I will answer you personally.
My personal mail: [email protected] (everything is free)
And here 2 situations are possible:
Now let's figure it out these situations with real life examples.
Situation #1
Guy Nicholas, absolutely accidentally met a girl on the street, she walked past and smiled at him on a beautiful spring sunny day, and then Nikolai came up to her and started talking to her some nonsense, and in the end, the girl gave him her phone number.
He came home with a smile on his face and wrote her an SMS in which he invited her on a date, and the girl agreed.
But after the first date the girl no longer answered his numerous calls.
Why is this, and what did Nikolai do wrong?
Actually a girl just got bored and she decided not to date this guy again.
During the conversation, Nikolai spoke only on logical topics and girls are by nature emotional creatures, emotions are very important for them, much more important than logic.
Example of logical communication:
Guy: I went to work yesterday and at work I was dismantling a multi-spindle machine for the following parts:
As a result, I took it apart for half a day and finally assembled it in the evening.
Girl: I see (sitting and bored)
Therefore, never don't talk to a girl logically because if you continue this, she will not agree to a 2nd date.
Situation #2
Guy Vasya Dating and living with his girlfriend for a long time, but after a while he notices that the girl begins to cool off towards him, begins to constantly express something to him and show her displeasure.
This means that the girl very bored in a relationship, she has a sharp deficit in emotions.
She lacks crazy adventures, for example, jump with a parachute, ride a bicycle from a huge mountain in winter, swim in an ice hole for baptism etc
And the guy does not understand this at all and continues to lead a boring lifestyle, the maximum goes to the cinema with her, and that's it.
So, I answer the question How to make a girl not get bored?»
The answer is simple, she needs to give crazy emotions, since without them the girl fades, she becomes terribly bored and, most likely, if the guy does not change, she will leave him for another cheerful guy.
This article is only a small part of what is on my site, there is a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics of interest to you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls without wasting your time.
Now I have 2 sites - a site and 4mentv.ru. And every week I I add new articles to these sites that are useful to you, therefore, in order not to miss them, add these sites to your favorites and visit them periodically. Now there are about 450 articles and 70 videos on 2 sites on topics that are interesting for you.
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Girls are extremely emotional creatures, so it is very difficult to understand when their mood deteriorates, and how to cheer up a girl is an extremely difficult question. You need to clearly understand what you can joke about, and what you should keep silent about. Numerous tips can be found on various sites, but do not take all the written methods personally, as the girls are different, and each needs a different approach. Try to trust your instincts, and analyze the situation in the current situation. It will be easy if you know your girlfriend, and if you have just started dating, there is only trial and error.
You decide to meet new girl, well, write to her, give her a compliment, add a funny picture, music or video to the message. Believe me, this is a good start for dating or just cheer up and cheer up your girlfriend.
If your chosen one has been with you for quite a long time, and you have accumulated your joint photos, a video where you are happy, send it to her, write a corresponding note to the photo - this will not leave her indifferent.
If you recently started dating a girl and you want to chat with her, but frequent calls will have a bad effect at the beginning of a relationship, it doesn’t matter that there is an SMS message, and we will tell you how to cheer up a girl in correspondence, and what you shouldn’t joke about especially when she is sad.
So, the most important thing is not to write poems, short messages are the key to success. Mostly girls do not like:
Therefore, you don’t need to watch programs like Comedy before correspondence in order to conquer her with your “brilliant” humor, which she may simply not understand. Here are some examples of SMS for a girl:
And now, let's look at how to cheer up a girl in correspondence if she is sad, because a positive attitude always helps to improve relations, even at a distance. Try not to bring up sad topics when she is in a bad mood, let her feel that at any time of the day, no matter how far apart you are, she can rely on you and feel loved and desired.
When texting, do not talk about the fact that you talked with any other girl - this will only upset her, let her know that she is the only one for you. Tell us what funny situations you have happened to your friends, colleagues during the day.
What would be most pleasant for her, and her mood would rise, use such words as “bunny”, “baby” and other gentle words in her address. After such messages, your girlfriend will stop being sad.
Decided to go on a date, do not know how to cheer up a girl? Exactly, do not try to become a humor guru, it will not help you. Behave naturally and not forced, the only way you can conquer your chosen one. If she is sad, try to cheer her up, surprise her. Passing by the flowers, buy her them or a delicious chocolate bar, a toy.
Try to give her a memorable date, go to the theater, the zoo, or listen to a local band. Firstly, she will obviously like it, and secondly, it will cheer her up.
If you have been with your girlfriend for a long time, make surprises for her, which she will definitely like, which she has long dreamed of. If her mood is at zero, then try to find out what's the matter, what worries her. Of course, she will answer that everything is fine, but still do not stop, persuade her to tell you. But do not repeat one question all the time, find a way. When she tells you, don't be macho and think that her sadness isn't worth your effort. Show that you are not only her boyfriend, but also a friend who is always ready to support in difficult times.
On a date, you can easily cheer up your girlfriend by telling a joke, a funny fact about yourself, or a story your friend told you. Just do not try to memorize the text, everything should look at ease, and on the topic.
After reading this article, you will be able to put our advice into practice, the main thing is to be confident in yourself, be yourself, cheerful, and you will easily be able to withstand the yoke of female emotions. Which will lead you to strengthen the relationship, or maybe you will conquer the girl you liked for a long time, with whom you just corresponded and she will go on a date with you.
I have long wanted to find information on how to cheer up a girl in correspondence. I myself have “zero” fantasy, but I clearly understand the importance of positive emotions in communicating with the opposite sex. Tried one of the options given in the article. I don’t know if Katya (that’s my girlfriend’s name) was laughing, but the meeting went well.
I read a million tips on the Internet on how to cheer up a girl in VK. But I think that here it is necessary to proceed from the situation and the nature of the interlocutor. I've had girlfriends who just needed a silly joke or a light "divorce" to add to the mood. Now I've changed the style. In online communication, I focus on officialdom, and in real life I start joking.
What I can definitely confirm is the dislike of girls for black humor. Although, there are exceptions here too. My past passion was very fond of such jokes and even knew how to “compose” them herself. So it is worth proceeding from the character of the girl, individually select “keys” to her.
I met with different types of girls, but most of all I like laughter girls by nature. They are open, bright, light and cheerful. It's easy with them. You feel like a real "Petrosyan" and you want to joke endlessly. But there are also dull natures who are UNREAL to cheer.
Thanks for the article, because I learned a lot of interesting things for myself. Only one problem - with a sense of humor somehow did not work. I'm always serious in dealing with girls and can't change myself. Because of this, many acquaintances ended after the first meetings. What to do?
From my "bell tower" I can say that humor in dealing with girls is the main key to success. If you manage to keep the interlocutor positive, this is already half the battle. There is enough depression in life, so young ladies are drawn to cheerful guys. It's 100%. Just be fun.
As for souvenirs and their effectiveness, I checked it for myself. At each meeting with a girl, he tried to bring something as a gift. Nothing expensive, of course - the usual knick-knacks from the souvenir shop or handmade. I have a bad sense of humor, so I tried to compensate in this way. Works.
The hardest thing is to make a girl laugh over SMS. It is also bad that you do not see the real reaction - only guesses. I tried to joke many times, and in response I received only “Ha-ha” or a smiling emoticon. It is difficult to understand whether you hit the mark or froze another stupidity.
Guys, I can give you one piece of advice. Don't try to be funny and witty - be it. Do not be afraid to say something stupid, because such platitudes often amuse girls even more. Believe me, the young lady will appreciate the efforts. That's how I met my wife. He just carried all sorts of nonsense and tried to cheer - it worked.
When a couple ends their candy-bouquet period, they may feel differently about it. And if the guy takes it for granted, then the girl can catch herself thinking that she clearly lacks attention. To avoid such cases, the guy must find out the girl's hobbies, and then he can support her aspirations.
Of course, it’s good if a guy and a girl find a common hobby that they will do together: ballroom dancing, drawing lessons, playing musical instruments, swimming lessons. So they will not only develop spiritually or physically, but also strengthen their relationship.
And also, so that the girl does not feel deprived of attention, the guy must take care of the little things: open the door in front of his girlfriend, give her a hand when she gets out of public transport or out of the car, etc. Also, for many women, significant dates are very important, so it’s better for a guy to try to remember them (perhaps write them down). This may be the day of acquaintance or the day when the first declaration of love was made. By the way, it would be very nice if the guy himself would remind the lady of his heart about this and give gifts, even symbolic ones, in connection with this date.
If a girl is bored when her young man leaves somewhere for a long time, then you can try to take her with you. Perhaps the occupation of her half will be so captivating that it will become a joint hobby, or maybe she will find this occupation uninteresting and then she will no longer prevent the guy from going away sometimes.
Thinking about what to do if a girl is bored, we can assume that the matter is not at all in her man, but in herself. Unfortunately, everyone has depressive states, when nothing pleases, and everything seems meaningless. In this case, you just need to help cope with feelings, support your beloved. But if she is always in this state and demands that the guy constantly entertain her, then it is worth considering whether such a relationship is needed at all.
If the guy nevertheless decided that he wants to help his girlfriend cope with boredom, then you can arrange a romantic surprise date for her. For example, somewhere outside the city - clean air and harmony with nature are very important things for the inhabitants of the metropolis. Or arrange a dinner on the roof of a skyscraper, or offer to jump with a parachute, or raft down a mountain river.
Or maybe the girl would prefer to go to the exhibition contemporary art or to the theatre. In this case, even if her boyfriend is not enthusiastic about such leisure activities, it is better to prepare in advance and not only take the girl there, but also show your knowledge in this matter. If a girl is passionate about dancing, then you can invite her to a fashionable nightclub.
In general, it all depends on what kind of environment the girl has, and what kind of herself she is. Maybe she is quiet and would prefer a good book as a gift, or, on the contrary, she is active and sociable and wants to spend a sleepless night in a club to the rhythms of music. You just need to study her addictions and arrange a surprise - one from which she will be delighted, and then it will not occur to any guy to say - "my girlfriend is bored with me."
Nikita7415
I have been dating a girl for half a year, I love her very much, I pay a lot of attention, I give flowers, gifts. We somehow quarreled a lot and even broke up, but after a couple of weeks everything worked out and we are together again. But less than a month later, she said that she was bored with me, there were no topics for conversation ...
I think that this is not the main thing, because it is more important that she be calm and comfortable with me, I'm not a clown!
And I also think that we have not yet moved away from the litter, and over time everything will work out and we will have something to talk about.
What do you think could be the problem?
Nikita7415, good afternoon. Write, please, how old are you and your girlfriend. What do you think - what does the girl’s phrase mean that you don’t have common topics for conversation?
The psychologist will answer you after a while, while I recommend that you familiarize yourself with our section
Hello Nikita7415! Let's deal with your questions together.
It is very important that in a couple the interests and basic expectations of the girl and the guy coincide. If a girl wants interesting and intense communication, and the main thing for you is peace and comfort, then you are looking for something different in a relationship. If you love your girl and want her to want to be with you and be happy, then you can’t just dismiss her desires by saying “but I don’t think this is the main thing - I’m not a clown for you.” This demonstrates to your girlfriend that her interests and desires have no value for you - only your desires have value for you.
Put yourself in her place - what would you think about your girlfriend's attitude towards you if you heard from her - "it doesn't matter to me that you want peace and comfort, because the main thing for me is to have fun and communicate with friends." How would you feel at such a moment?
Nikita7415
I probably would not be pleased to hear this, but still, how to get her to the movies or for a walk, if she is constantly busy, constantly studying, even on weekends
There are many topics that can be discussed, but somehow I don’t know how to approach these topics.
Nikita7415, you've been dating a girl for six months, say you love her, but don't know what to talk to her about? Are you interested in her life? What are her hobbies? What attracts her?
If a girl is constantly busy with her studies, then most likely the sphere of her interests is somewhere in the field of the specialty for which she is studying. What profession did she choose?
If a girl is not attracted to a walk and a movie, then she does not make contact with you. She is probably interested in something else - sports, theater, dancing ... Try to remember what she usually told you about with enthusiasm in order to understand what might interest her
Nikita7415
Even before the start of the school year, she said that we would rarely see each other, because this year is very important for her and she wants support from me, and not constant quarrels "why we rarely see each other"
She recently said that she needs new communication, new acquaintances, this may be due to the fact that we did not communicate enough and so she wants to compensate for the lack of communication?
She's in 11th grade and I keep asking "How are you? How was your day?"
Nikita7415, no, Nikita, if she lacked communication only with you, then she would simply call you or write to you. She wants variety - new faces, new experiences, new interests.
If your girlfriend has a graduation class, then she is really all in her studies - after all, a lot depends on this. So there is little time for communication and she probably distributes it somehow between you and her other friends - friends with whom she has common affairs and interests.
You have already mentioned that you and your girlfriend have different ideas about relationships - she wants interesting communication, and you want peace and comfort. Perhaps this is where your interests diverge. It's good that you are caring and ask her constantly "How are you?, How was your day?" But she is probably not very interested in just reporting to you how her day went. She probably wants to talk about something interesting to distract from her studies.
Nikita7415
How can I be, change and find common interests, for example, she is learning Polish. Or just show your other virtues.?
Nikita7415, finding common interests is a good way to make contact with a girl. There will be topics for communication and joint leisure. You can, for example, practice Polish together.
If you want to show your other virtues, that's fine too.
Nikita7415
It's just that for me, communication is not the main thing, it should be, it is not in the first place, it is more important for me that it would be good, calm with a person, that there would be confidence in the future
Nikita7415, if you want a girl to be with you, then you need to think not only about what is important for YOU, but what HER wants, what HER likes. If she does not need "confidence in the future", because she is only 16-17 years old and she is not looking for a serious long-term relationship yet, she is not getting married, then you should take this into account. For her, this factor is not important. She wants a new, interesting, diverse, and not permanent, calm and long-term.
Perhaps you should find yourself a girlfriend with views on relationships that are consonant with yours - the same lover of peace and comfort. It is very difficult to build relationships, especially at a young age, when the interests and needs of a guy and a girl are different - it's hard to be together when you enjoy completely different things, and you have a different lifestyle.
