Hello dear girls! We all sometimes find ourselves in situations where we have to say “no” to a person. The right words do not always come in time, and most often the refusal looks rude or unreasonable. Of course, it is impossible to prepare for any situation, but today I would like to talk with you about how to refuse a man with dignity. After all, by your refusal, you can not only lower his self-esteem, but also forever discourage the desire to approach girls.
To begin with, I propose to think about why you refuse. Quite often, I became a witness to situations when a girl says “no” with words, but shows “yes” with her whole appearance. Therefore, you must clearly understand why you want to reject this or that offer of a man, whether it is an invitation for a date or a conversation about intimacy.
I do not recommend you to play "impregnability". Girls think that the more you refuse a man, the more he will strive. If you say no for these reasons, then be extremely careful in your expressions.
First, not all guys take hints. Secondly, you may be considered frivolous or too flighty, because today you are not, but tomorrow you are. Especially do not get carried away with such tactics, being in a long relationship.
One of my acquaintances tried to meet in a proposal, but all the time she was looking for an opportunity to see him and shoot with her eyes. She just wanted to play a game of flirting with him. But the man did not understand why she refused him, and she herself constantly sends non-verbal signals.
If you decide to reject a man’s offer, then do it clearly, distinctly and accessible. Do not hesitate, do not fawn, and do not try to justify your refusal. But how to do it competently and beautifully, so as not to offend a man, we will now find out.
How do girls usually act? They just send them to hell, sometimes even rudely and uncivilized. If you do not want to seem tactless, then your refusal must necessarily contain a compliment to a man, not just his appearance, but masculine qualities.
If you don't know how to compliment guys, it's okay. Read the article "t" and you can always find the right words in any situation.
So, your refusal should consist of a compliment, a short explanation of your negative answer, and a supportive phrase. Let's take a look at an example.
For example, a guy came up to you on the street and offers to meet you.
Agree, the second option looks much more polite, tactful and correct. The guy realized that you were not ready to communicate with him, but he did not have self-doubt, he would not think that something was wrong with him.
So in sex, you also need to be able to refuse correctly so that there are no further problems. If you have a stranger in front of you, then the answer will be approximately the same as above: you are so straightforward and frank, but I only do this with my loved one, I have no doubt that such a confident man will be able to find what he is looking for.
Coarseness. This is the most common mistake girls make. Under no circumstances should you be rude, call names or get personal. No matter how hard it is for you to communicate with a person, even if he does not understand your refusals at all and continues to bother with his attention, never allow yourself to switch to insults.
Most likely, this is your first and last meeting, why make a scandal out of it? Try to remain polite and cultured in every situation. Remember that you can always resort to the help of humor. This is especially important when dealing with a loved one.
Blurring of the phrase. Sometimes it is difficult for girls to immediately and directly refuse a handsome guy, for example. Therefore, the girl does not say “no” directly, but beats around the bush. You need to be direct, specific and to the point. What do you want to say to a man: let's stay friends; I need a break now; we need to break up.
Try to speak directly. So, one of my girlfriends could not directly refuse a guy money. She could not say a clear “no”, so she kept coming up with some phrases.
Divergence of behavior and words. I spoke about this above. When a girl says "no", but with all her appearance continues to show interest in a man. Read the article "". Of course, there we are talking more about married women who have decided to get distracted on the side, but for sure you will find many useful thoughts for yourself.
What does your rejection phrase usually look like? Have you ever heard a rejection?
I wish you patience and self-control in any situation.
All the best!
Instruction
First of all, it all depends on the degree of closeness of your relationship. If you have not yet promised him anything, then the most correct style of behavior is a demonstration of complete indifference. Try to look distant in his presence and be sure to watch your body language. Do not turn in his direction, do not show your openness, do not look into his eyes and, moreover, do not touch him, even by accident, if you still have to talk.
Your refusal must be categorical. Therefore, no smiles and jokes. Remember that it is worthwhile for you to maintain a conversation with him out of politeness, and for young man this may already be a signal to continue contact.
If you behave insecurely, your behavior can be regarded simply as inflating your prices or breaking. Therefore, the guy will most likely make an attempt to increase pressure on you and triple his attempts to start courting you, because any member of the opposite sex is a hunter by nature.
You should not show excessive aggressiveness, because you do not know this person yet and do not imagine his response. If you do not want trouble, it is better to try to make a refusal in a firm but polite manner.
If you have already tried to meet a little and after some time you realized that this is not yours, and you should stop this relationship, the line of behavior is built differently. First, it's best if you're honest and candid. Why lead a worthy person by the nose, who, like you, can happily arrange his fate? Tell him honestly that you are very sorry about what you are saying now, but you cannot do otherwise, that he is a nice guy, but it is impossible to order feelings. Speak in such a way that he does not have hope that in the future the renewal of your relationship is possible. Invite him to be a friend. It is unlikely that he will immediately agree. But when some time passes, the acute feeling of resentment will go away, and he will realize the fact of the break, friendly relations are quite possible.
A sense of humor can help in difficult conversations. Turn the situation so that your boyfriend is not offended, but laughed. He, of course, will be upset, but there will certainly be less unpleasant sediment in his soul.
It is especially difficult to speak with a touchy, proud and persistent admirer. Therefore, you better think about the words you are going to say in advance. You should not start a conversation if you are irritated and cannot control yourself. And, of course, during a conversation, you should not feel sorry for the fan or respond to his provocations. Be firm, sincere and direct. In the future, the guy will appreciate it.
Make sure that the young man leaves you himself. There are several ways to make this possible. First, "debunk" yourself in his eyes. If you know why he appreciates you, try to make it clear that you are not like that. Second, be overbearing. Annoy him for any reason. Show too much attention and try to control every minute of his life. Thirdly, check it for "lice". Show that you have a lot of problems in life, from moral to material, and that you expect to “resolve” them with his help. In addition, if you understand that the person in front of you is not very serious, you can “finish off” him with your matrimonial plans. Hint that you are now expecting him to submit an application to the registry office.
Christina Dubrova
The guy proposed a relationship, but the girl does not seriously consider his candidacy - a common situation, the solution of which should be approached with special tact. Male psychology extremely thin, and a rude refusal can ruin a person’s entire future life, lowering his self-esteem and negatively affecting the ability to find a worthy companion in the future.
Often a girl does not repel a boyfriend, who for some reason is an unacceptable option for her. Most often, this comes from a desire to increase their significance in the eyes of mutual acquaintances and especially girlfriends.
Sometimes such a suitor plays a role " alternate airfield” or a pillow in which you can cry from time to time.
It is quite cruel to torture a person, periodically letting him in and pushing him away. It is much more beautiful to act decisively, giving the boyfriend the opportunity to understand that he will never become the only one necessary.
A smart girl will not stoop to humiliating a young man and will try to resolve the situation with minimal damage to the guy’s psyche, as well as for herself:
However, such measures are good if the guy is adequate enough and able to understand that perseverance will not bring you closer to the desired result. What to do if, despite all the exhortations, the young man continues courting, which begins to resemble real persecution?
The phrases had no effect, and the young man does not want to really assess the situation. In this case, you can resort to rather harsh measures, since not only the psyche of the unwanted boyfriend, but also your own, can suffer.
If courtship seems particularly annoying, but does not go beyond the bounds of decency, you can try on the role of an actress. For example, did a young man create an image of an unearthly ephemeral creature that feeds on sunlight?
It is worth destroying his idea by ordering a couple of glasses of beer in a cafe, telling others a vulgar anecdote. You can also introduce a special demeanor - greet friends with pushes on the shoulder, laugh out loud at stupid jokes.
Another way to beautifully discourage a gentleman from yourself is to introduce him to the world of fashion. Not a single man can withstand many hours of walking through salons with branded clothing and cosmetics. It is necessary not only to drag the stubborn young man to the store, but to dedicate him to girlfriends.
To do this, it is worthwhile to select wardrobe items with special care, being interested in the opinion of a companion and promising to repeat the walk in a couple of days. In most cases, falling in love disappears immediately and forever.
Great help in the issue of breakup and the role of a caring mother. Every day you need to call the guy several times, asking how he slept, what he ate, if he forgot to tie a scarf - the weather is so windy outside! In companies, one should also relentlessly follow the young man, not embarrassed by comical situations. A rare man is able to withstand two mothers.
An interesting idea is to play the role of a matchmaker. At a party where an unlucky lover is present, you can ask him for a favor, for example, to see off a close friend. At the same time, it should be mentioned how dear this little man is.
Then the young man will be imbued with the importance of the task and is unlikely to refuse a small trifle for his adored idol. Who knows, maybe friendships will develop between two lonely people, which will eventually develop into something more?
...I'm giving you fair warning, - the Queen shouted and stamped her foot.
“Either we lose your company, or you lose your nakedness.
Decide now - no, twice as fast!Lewis Carroll "Alice in Wonderland"
The more a man is sick in the head, the more difficult it is for him to refuse or end the novel. Let's talk about failures from scratch. That is, if there was nothing between you yet, and you would not want it to be. It is very difficult not to offend a man. Male psychology, which has developed over the centuries, is the psychology of a conqueror. A woman is an assessment, an indicator of his success, irresistibility, sexual attractiveness and everything else. Refusal is a slap in the face, a blow to male pride. You didn't choose him because he wasn't handsome enough, rich enough, sexy enough, or smart enough. It means that somewhere there is a better male, or the woman is just an idiot, since she did not appreciate such a treasure and is waiting for someone who is not clear. Hence the fights and humiliation of you with various bad words, set-ups at work and spreading rumors, inscriptions in the entrances and threats. A situation may arise in which you will no longer be important, but the very principle of “win and keep at any cost” is what matters most. It starts from childhood. Everyone wants to be friends with the best in the class, to walk with the most beautiful in the yard, but, not getting what they want, they agree to a neighbor in the desk or girlfriend of a beautiful and smart girl. Or they accumulate complexes in themselves, masturbating on magazine beauties.
In order for a man not to be offended by your refusal, you need to deceive him so that he does not feel rejected, or show yourself in such a way that he does not want to make contact. Let's face it, often we ourselves give rise to harassment. We dance provocatively, laugh out loud or make eyes. We go to dinner, thinking that we are fed for talking and the pleasure of looking at us, we put on short skirts and walk around waving our hips. We promise, but do not give, we give a signal: “I am a female, I want!”, And then we build a touchy and play offended innocence. So the best way is not to bring to harassment. And if you did...
An unfamiliar man on the street gives out an original or not very set of words on the topic: “Come on!”. Answer options:
Sorry, I'm in a hurry. But you can call me on this phone (a fake phone is given);
Over there in that car (pointing to the accumulation of vehicles) my husband is sitting and, I think, he will not be delighted with our acquaintance;
Sorry, but I already love one man. And I can't look at anyone else. You are very cute, really, but understand me, please excuse me (make a sad-idiot facial expression).
Young man, you have inflated self-esteem!
I don't want. I just don't want to. Why - I will not say. I just don't want to.
How wonderful! I'm on my way to a meeting of our religious community. Will you join me?
Let's meet! And when? No, I can’t on Tuesday, I’m going to have an abortion, I’ll lie down on Wednesday, let’s go on Friday!
Sorry, but I don't want to meet. If you insist, I will call the police.
I'm sorry, you're so cute, but I only like brunettes (blonds, redheads). No, we will not try, sorry, such a feature. Do you want us to be friends?
Do you have a car? No? And you meet such a girl if you don't have a car? And why are you without flowers? How are you dressed? Do you think that in this form you have a chance?
Sorry, I don't meet men on the street. This rule is.
The main thing is to answer politely, with a smile, but be persistent and consistent. Do not say the name and phone number, or, conversely, give all the coordinates and say that you and your husband will be very glad to see him at a party. And even a girlfriend for him is in mind. Be sure to meet. You must either look like an impregnable fortress or a complete idiot. There are no other options.
If this is an acquaintance, employee, friend of a friend, the tactics should be similar, but more subtle.
Method one: tell me that you are a femme fatale and promised yourself not to make new connections (except for your husband or lover, who already has one). You have such a sad experience! Suicide attempts and scenes of jealousy, unfortunate men crying on your chest and abandoned wives with numerous children. No, you can't destroy anymore! It's time to make a point. And he won't be another victim. There were enough of them anyway (fictional characters are listed). It will be better for you and for him to see each other less often and not bring up this topic again.
Method two: if you don’t have a man, and the person knows about it, play a depressive melancholy person, cry, take pity on yourself. Say you're not ready for a new relationship because men are such bastards. Tell me a terrible story of male betrayal. And ask you to wait. How much - you do not know. But in this state, you can not start a new relationship. Repeat more often: "You understand me." And smile guiltily. Men can't wait.
Method three: talk about what a wonderful man you have next to you. How he takes care of you, protects you, what a wonderful lover, husband, father, breadwinner, how you are afraid of losing him. How can this be changed? And you don't need it. You are so happy. And he will find himself a worthy woman. May I help?
Method four: You are busy. And in love. And they love you. Now let him imagine that someone is seducing his beloved woman. Would he be pleased?
Method five: You have a very angry and jealous lover. Second dan in karate. You are afraid of him. If he finds out, he will kill them both. If not a karateka, then a bandit or a businessman. No one knows about him, because you meet secretly. He is married, but he loves you madly. Have you seen the movie "The Bodyguard"?
There are actually many more ways. You probably have many of them yourself. The main thing is to immediately assess who is pestering you, his weaknesses. It's like a business negotiation in which someone has to give in. In no case do not be rude and do not hold on arrogantly. This is what pisses men off the most. Be polite and joyful. After all, it's really nice when you are chosen from the crowd of girls, colleagues or acquaintances walking towards you. It's flattering, it confirms that you're making progress on a bitchy path. So let's not mock those who remain behind, under our sharp heels. It's a pity for you, of course, unfortunate ones ... But it's impossible to make everyone happy! Even mothers of 3 children.
Dear readers, today we will talk about how to refuse a guy to meet, and at the same time not offend his feelings. After all, you understand that the sympathy that has arisen is not always mutual. The tips in this article will help you if you find yourself in a similar situation.
Let's look at the cases in which a girl can refuse a relationship to a young man.
And let's look at how to politely refuse a guy. You must understand that the psyche of a young person can be very vulnerable, and your refusal can develop complexes in him or even a serious psychological trauma if the feelings are very strong.
Sometimes a girl thinks about how to refuse a guy without offending him, tries to gently inform her about her decision. And the young man does not take her words seriously and continues to insist on a date. What to do in such a situation?
No matter how politely the refusal is uttered, you must be prepared to face an inadequate reaction from the young man. He may start crying, try to smash his head against the wall, decide to jump off the roof or throw himself under the bus, fall to his knees and start begging. This can happen for three main reasons.
Poor girl who found herself in a similar situation. How to proceed? Give false hopes, regret or run away before it's too late? The trouble is that only in the first case the words of the young man will not be put into action, but how do you know that you are dealing with a manipulator?
There was history in my life. The son of a school teacher, who was already finishing school, was madly in love with his classmate. One day he decided to open up to her, told her about his feelings and offered to meet. The girl laughed in his face and refused. The guy hanged himself. His mother came to school and, right in the middle of the lesson, grabbed that girl by the hair, began to accuse her of killing her son. And such cases are not uncommon. A person can be hurt very easily. Therefore, you need to know how to behave and remain polite, respectful of the feelings of another person.
