Conflicts over money occur in almost any marriage. Times are not the easiest now, but you really want to relax, drive a good car and buy your own home. But in order to do this, you need to save money and try to save on food, services, clothing. You plow from morning till night, save every penny, and your missus takes this money and spends it left and right. It's a shame, isn't it? As a result, you fail to save anything and in addition to everything else, you still have debts. If you notice that your wife is spending money on completely unnecessary things, start taking action, otherwise your family will soon be in poverty.
Alas, but to cope with this situation will be extremely difficult. Why? Yes, because every time she will find arguments and tell that she simply cannot do without a purchase. After all, this blouse goes so well with the color of her eyes, and this manicurist works much better with nails. And it's okay that you had to spend the last money, because she is your wife and you should be proud of her. In most cases, women tell their men that they simply do not appreciate them and cannot provide them with the most necessary things.
How to resolve conflict and save money with a spender wife:
If all else fails and your wife is a pathological spender, there are two ways out - either put up with her behavior, or file for divorce. Alas, in most cases, women are not ready and do not want to compromise when it comes to money. The best option is to live at least six months together before marriage, so you can see all the shortcomings of a woman and understand whether she suits you or not.
Men very often complain that their wives spend too much money. According to a strong part of humanity, their halves buy a sea of unnecessary things and are able to spend any amount given to them in a matter of hours.
Women's prodigality is a double-edged sword. In most families, men judge their wives unfairly because they don't keep track of the money spent. It seems to them that the family budget is at odds. Husbands do not understand that in addition to cutlets and a side dish that they saw on their plate today, the family needs to make many useful acquisitions that are not visible to the naked eye. A spouse may sincerely believe that the family uses the same roll of toilet paper for a month, he does not even know how much money is spent on household chemicals, on utility bills, on a kindergarten for a child, on travel, socks, cat food and all sorts of necessary little things like spices or washcloths for washing dishes.
Another paradox is that the husband reproaches his wife for buying "unnecessary" things for the house and for herself. Figurines, curtains, rugs, paintings, a new dress or a beautiful robe - it seems that you can do without this, but for some reason a man does not want to live in an empty apartment where there is only a sofa, a table and a wardrobe, and for some reason, a neglected wife. that's not to your liking.
Therefore, this kind of female squandering is more of a male problem. The wife spends the funds quite logically, the husband simply does not know what the money is spent on. It is not difficult to deal with this - you just need to go shopping together with your husband several times, and then sit down and sort out the receipts, calculate how much was spent, ask your spouse if he considers the purchases unnecessary. The first reaction will be: “Yes, we didn’t buy anything, what did we spend so much money on?” After several such trips, he will understand that his wife really gets the right things and does not scatter family money.
But there is a flip side to the coin - when the wife really suffers from a shopping mania. She does not know how to save and distribute funds, she buys a lot of clothes and unnecessary trinkets while the refrigerator is empty.
This problem has deeper causes. One of them is internal discomfort. When a woman does not feel happy in a family, she tries to fill her spiritual emptiness with things. To get rid of this trouble, you need to establish good relationships, pay a lot of attention to each other, spend time together doing pleasant activities, and then prodigality will pass by itself.
Spending is often found among young housewives - before marriage, they lived with their parents and simply do not know how to distribute the family budget. Home economics is also not taught at school, and it turns out that in family life the young wife enters with complete ignorance of how to properly spend money. In order to learn how to manage money, girls just need time, experience and advice from their parents. A good solution would be to keep a diary of expenses and calculate the monthly expenses for different categories of goods. The main thing is that a woman should have a desire to learn how to properly manage a financial economy, and then she will be able to learn this art.
by Notes of the Wild MistressThe male stereotype that all women are spinners is very strong. I have recently lived long life with my husband and regularly listening to reproaches from him that I don’t know how to properly distribute the family budget, I suddenly heard an amazing confession from him: “I suddenly realized how you wisely distributed our family budget all these years, We always had enough money not only for the necessary , and even in excess. And we lived much better than we could afford on what we earn.” Women will understand what I felt at that moment!
Reproaches of squandering, inability to save, in the wrong distribution of the family budget are heard by most women, if not absolutely all. And it’s not at all that we don’t know how to save money, or, indeed, such utter windings, but, most likely, in that very stereotype, on the one hand, and on the other, in the inability of men to imagine ALL expenses for the home, for the family .
Indeed, it can be difficult to explain that spare blades, socks, washing powder and toilet paper, detergents, handkerchiefs, spices and seasonings - the list is endless - they don’t give away for nothing in the store, and quite a lot of money goes into it. And if there is a child in the family, then the side costs generally increase incredibly. And it is simply impossible to lay everything down to the penny in the family budget.
Another reason for "women's squandering" is explained even more simply - by some features of female psychology. Once, in a conversation with a male colleague, I heard from him wonderful words in their simplicity. The husband, suffering from an uneconomical wife, complained that he barely had time to give his wife money for food, as they immediately run out, and some vases, dishes, all sorts of "bells and whistles" appear at home. And to his question, how to live on until payday, his wife naively answers - because you still have it!
And rightly so, the wife is not naive, but quite rightly thinks that the husband gives her only a small fraction of all the money he earns, therefore, you can afford some “extra” expenses, especially since they (and dishes, and the notorious vases) are for the house, for a family, for comfort and a beautiful interior, for which husbands do not allocate money, but take it for granted and taken from nowhere.
It is unlikely that the wife, mistress and mother, knowing absolutely that there is still a week before payday, and the money is the last in the house, will buy the picture she likes, dooming her husband and child to a life of starvation. And so - why not decorate life ?! It's not just for her, but for everyone! And it is not clear why the husband is so angry, she wanted the best!
The most interesting thing is that after a portion of reproaches and accusations, a certain amount comes into being, which is given to the wife. And the wife, once again, making sure that her husband is a bottomless purse, passes all exhortations past her ears.
Of course, you need to be objective, there are really spenders among us who cannot pass by the thing they like and lose all their minds when they are in the store. There is even such a term - oniomania, which is now considered an increasingly progressive disease. True, psychologists say that usually women with low self-esteem or lonely women who try to endlessly acquire new things to get a sense of their own significance and attractiveness become oniomaniacs. Again, unreasonable spending is also made by those who are gnawed by longing and sadness, boredom and satiety.
Therefore, husbands who suspect their wives of oniomania should not swear, but understand what is wrong in family relations, why the wife is trying to find herself in wastefulness and buying, instead of rationally taking care of the family and home.
Good economical and reasonable housewives are not born - they are made. In fact, think: after the wedding, a young wife receives money from her husband with the words that now she is the mistress of the house, and therefore she has the cards, that is, money, in her hands. And this youngest wife still lived with her mother and father, studied at an institute where they did not study home economics, went to the store exclusively for new clothes, for which her parents gave her money. And how much a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread or a kilogram of meat costs, she has no idea! Moreover, at least he knows how to cook somehow, but all the products were taken at home from the refrigerator, and not in the store from the counter.
And so the young wife, meeting her husband from work, happily prepares a romantic dinner for him, having bought all the most delicious and exotic and leaving in the store the amount for which a family of five can easily live for a week. By the way, it has been established that quarrels in young families over money are much more frequent than it seems at first glance! This happens especially often if the families of the husband and wife had different incomes and different savings regimes.
Did your mother involve you in the distribution of the family budget as a child? Have you ever discussed with your parents where and how best to spend your salary, how much money is spent monthly on utility bills and other expenses? How can you save up money for an expensive thing, a vacation or a car, how much is spent on food every week, and how much do food prices rise in order to also take this into account in the family budget?
Before marriage, did you try to distribute your pocket money on your own, so that it would be enough for entertainment and for a gift to your parents on the wedding anniversary? Also, did you have any pocket money? If your husband is not an oligarch, and your daughter does not inherit a large fortune, then the inability to plan a family budget can have a hard effect on her marriage. By the way, women, whose wealth in marriage is more than significant, also have their own problems due to the inability to reasonably distribute and spend money. You understand, the requests are higher, and, accordingly, more expensive.
What to do, how to learn how to save money and become a rational and prudent housewife? There are probably many ways to learn how to count money, but I will share what I started with myself. To begin with, you should not go crazy with delight if the amount of money in your hands seems round and significant to you. Leave the euphoria behind and start budgeting. First of all, you must have a complete idea and a list of what expenses are mandatory, permanent and priority. This list includes utility bills, expenses for the child (circles, school, kindergarten), Internet, maintenance of a car, mobile phones, repayment of loans (if any), a mandatory “reserve fund” in case of illness or unforeseen situations. This is the money that you, in any case, will have to spend!
It’s not bad at all to write down all your expenses for a couple of months in order to understand how much you spend on food, on buying consumables for the home (washing powders, cleaning products, napkins, toilet paper, hygiene items, etc.) By the way, at the same time you you will be able to understand how correctly you fill the refrigerator with food, and how much spoiled food is thrown into the trash because of your impracticality.
Having thus formed the basis of the family budget from two main items (basic expenses and food), calculate how much money you have left and now determine what you need to buy, first of all, for each family member from clothes, shoes, etc., which required in the house of things, whether you need to start saving money for a vacation or to buy a new plasma TV and so on.
Unfortunately, after allocating money for the first two items, the remaining amount is more disheartening than euphoric, but that's okay! All the same, you can’t buy everything at once, but the gradual purchases will be a constant source of pleasure.
The family budget should also take into account upcoming holidays, birthdays of relatives and friends, because gifts will definitely be required, but there is not always money for them. It is not necessary to count expenses to "zero", that is, to invest strict amounts in the family budget with an accuracy of a penny. Better round them up. This will give you the opportunity to save on something, and buy something more expensive than the initially specified amount. Well, what can I say - prices are rising, almost every day.
If children grow up in a family, be sure to involve them in your calculations and worries about the reasonable spending of money and family savings. This does not mean that they should puzzle with you about how and what to buy, and how best to get out, but children should know exactly what the family budget consists of and where the money goes. From my own experience, I will say that the number of whims and children's requests is sharply reduced or even reduced to zero in cases where the child understands that the amount of money is a finite value.
Young wives and newly-baked housewives, who are used to discussing the family budget from childhood, have an understanding of family savings, as a rule, there are almost no problems with the distribution of the family budget. Of course, not everything can work out right away, because “I really want to” and “I must, I can’t” sometimes get along poorly in the mind. But they learn from mistakes, however, you should not delay this learning process too much. Yes, and husbands need to be wiser and more patient, proceed from the fact that the wife is trying her best to do the best she can, and if this does not always work out, then even the impulse itself deserves approval, not reproaches.
Money flows like water through your fingers. This is not surprising given that inflation is on the rise. We should tighten our belts, the men think. They reproach their wives for extravagance. But are the accusations always justified, “SEMEYKA.INFO” wondered.
In most families, men judge their wives unfairly.
Firstly, they seem to be unaware that in addition to the cutlets and garnish seen today, the family needs many other, not so noticeable at first glance, but no less useful acquisitions.
They naively believe that a family uses one roll of toilet paper for a month, and a tube lasts for six months. They don't even realize how much money is spent on little things like cat food, socks and washcloths.
Secondly, husbands sometimes reproach their wives for buying such “unnecessary” things as all kinds of figurines, curtains, rugs, and other knick-knacks, without which it is quite possible to do, but for some reason they do not want to live in a half-empty apartment, where there is only a sofa , table and wardrobe.
They condemn life partners for every new one, mascara and tights, but they are not eager to see them groomed and in tatters.
As you can see, women spend money quite logically, it's just that their husbands don't know what the money is spent on. Therefore, this type of female squandering is, rather, a male problem, which the spouses can solve if they go shopping together several times, and then they will sort out the checks together and how much was spent on what, and what purchases turned out to be unnecessary.
But there are also families in which women really do not know how to save money and distribute funds wisely, buying a lot of unnecessary clothes and knick-knacks, while the refrigerator is empty. Why is this happening?
The most common reason is women. If she does not feel happy in the family, then she tries to fill her spiritual emptiness with beautiful things. Therefore, the spouse should try to get along with his wife, devote more time to her and find joint pleasant activities - and soon the prodigality will pass by itself.
Another reason for women's squandering is the lack of experience in housekeeping and in the distribution of the family budget in particular. After all, at school they don’t teach how to handle money, and before marriage, their parents managed it. So it turns out that girls enter family life completely unprepared in this regard.
A good school of savings will be keeping a diary of expenses and counting monthly expenses for different categories of goods.
Very often, a strong half of humanity complains that their wives spend too much money. According to men, their halves acquire a bunch of unnecessary things and in a matter of hours are able to spend any amount given to them.
Women's squandering is a double-edged sword. Men in most families unfairly judge their wives because they don't keep track of the money they've spent. It seems to them that the family budget is being wasted on unnecessary trifles. Husbands do not understand that in addition to the side dish and cutlets, which they saw on their plate today, many useful acquisitions need to be made for the family. A spouse may believe that the family uses the same roll of toilet paper for a month, he does not even think how much money is spent on much-needed household chemicals, on a kindergarten, on utilities, on transportation, on socks, on pet food and various little things like washcloths and spices.
Another paradox of men is that they reproach their wife for acquiring completely unnecessary things for herself and for the house. A beautiful bathrobe or new strekozzza dresses, paintings, rugs, curtains, figurines - it seems like it’s good to live without this, but a man is unlikely to want to live in an empty apartment where there is only a wardrobe, a table and a sofa, and with all this, a groomed wife .
Therefore, this kind of female squandering is more of a problem for men.
The wife spends the funds quite logically, it’s just that the husband doesn’t know what the money is spent on. It is not difficult to deal with this - it is simply not easy to go shopping with your husband several times, and then sit down and sort through all the checks, calculate how much money was spent and finally ask your husband if he considers these purchases unnecessary. His very first reaction will be: “We didn’t buy anything, where did so much money go?” After several such trips, he will understand that his wife buys really necessary things and does not spray the family budget.
However, there is another side to the issue - when the wife really suffers from a shopping mania. It is incapable of distributing and saving funds. She buys a lot of unnecessary knickknacks and clothes while there is no trace of food in the refrigerator.
There are deeper reasons for this problem. One of these is internal discomfort. If a woman in the family does not feel happy, she fills the spiritual emptiness with things. To eliminate such a nuisance, it is necessary to pay more attention to each other, establish relationships, have a good time together, and then the problem will go away by itself.
You can often find squandering among young housewives - before marriage, they lived with their parents and did not learn how to distribute family funds. Home economics is also not taught at school, and therefore it turns out that the young wife enters family life with absolute ignorance of how to spend money correctly. To learn how to distribute funds, the girl just needs the advice of her parents, time and experience. A good solution would be
