Probably every woman has heard this phrase at least once in her life, and someone utters it periodically. Where does this come from and how does it really work? Let's figure it out.
First, let's find out what is meant by "goats". In most cases, women call so men who deliberately and purposefully deceive and betray them. And as a rule, this deception is associated with other women.
That is, "goats" are men who either use a woman or simply cheat on her with other women. Let's take this aspect for simplicity - the willingness to cheat with another woman.
What does science and statistics tell us about this? A bit of bitter truth about men and the unexpected about women.
In biology and psychology, there is a phenomenon named after the 30th President of the United States. I already mentioned it in one of the previous articles. The name of the term comes from an anecdotal story.
Once US President John Calvin Coolidge and his wife visited a chicken farm. During the visit, Mrs. Coolidge asked the farmer how the farm could produce so many eggs with so few roosters. The farmer proudly explained that his roosters perform their duties dozens of times a day.
“Perhaps you should tell Mr. Coolidge that,” said the First Lady wittily.
The President, hearing the remark, asked the farmer:
Does each rooster serve the same hen every time?
“No,” answered the farmer, “for every rooster there are many hens.
"Perhaps you should tell Mrs. Coolidge that," the President replied.
The Coolidge effect itself consists in the fact that males show prolonged high sexual activity in relation to each new female ready for fertilization.
The original experiments were carried out with rats in the following way: a male rat was placed in a box with four or five females. He immediately began to mate with all the rats again and again, until he finally ran out of steam. However, when a new female was placed in the box, he perked up and found the strength to mate one more time, with a new female.
In the future, this effect was repeatedly confirmed in other animals, regardless of the species.
For any living organism, one of the most important biological tasks is to reproduce and pass on its genes to new generations. Each new female within sight of the male is the most valuable, most important opportunity to fulfill this biological task.
This is of course debatable from a moral and moral point of view, nevertheless it is an important evolutionary mechanism that allowed humanity as a species to survive. Therefore, men, of course, are certainly polygamous goats. From a genetic and evolutionary point of view. And official statistics confirm this: about 75% of men have cheated on a permanent partner at least once in their lives.
However, the same statistics tells us other interesting things.
For a long time, it was assumed that monogamous relationships were evolutionarily beneficial for women. A permanent partner provided a set of genes for offspring and subsequent care during pregnancy and nursing. Without a man, women simply could not survive. For the sake of these benefits, women chose the strategy of monogamy, while remaining faithful.
However, reality does not fit into this theory a bit.
Imagine that you are sitting in a cafe, suddenly a stranger sits down at your table and says: “I noticed you outside and I think that you are very beautiful. Would you like to sleep with me tonight?"
Two psychologists sent agents to different cafes to find out who would accept such an offer. You might guess that most of the takers were masculine, 75% of the men were happy to go straight to bed. At the same time, none of the women accepted the offer.
However, when the same scouts slightly changed the wording and began to ask: “Would you agree to go on a date with me?”, The picture changed dramatically: 56% of women and only 50% of men agreed.
- In Russia, an anonymous opinion poll was conducted among married women in order to find out whether it is true that the main reason for cheating is dissatisfaction in marriage?
Confirmation seems to have been found: 65 percent of women who had extramarital affairs were unhappy with their husbands.
However, along the way, it turned out that as many as 25 percent of women who are most satisfied with their marriage and 44 percent of women with average satisfaction commit adultery. In total, almost 70% of married women cheat on a permanent partner.
- According to British scientists, 46% of women, having sex with one man, fantasize about another. Most often this is a work colleague.
- For a long time there was an opinion that there are monogamous animals that choose one partner for life: swans, storks, wild geese, wolves, arctic foxes, monkeys, etc.
However, with the discovery of DNA analysis, scientists were in for a surprise: many "monogamous" animals turned out to have children not from the main partner. This was very unexpected, and this discovery turned into a revision of many statements.
- A recent analysis of genetic databases conducted in the United States showed that more than 10% of people do not come from the biological fathers that appear in their documents.
How monogamous are women and why do they have lovers? Why behave contrary to evolutionary benefit?
This paradox has recently been sorted out and the conclusion of scientists is quite simple: monogamy is not the only evolutionarily beneficial strategy. And in prehistoric times, judging by other indirect signs, polygamy most likely prevailed among women.
Not in the sense of group sex, but in the sense of secret relationships and children conceived on the side.
Firstly, at the dawn of evolution, the risk of losing a permanent partner was quite large: men could die on the hunt, in battle with enemies, or simply from illness.
Therefore, one of the survival strategies was the following: a woman got herself a man "in reserve", and maybe even more than one. To do this, she got in touch with different men, and therefore, in the event of the departure or death of a permanent partner, she did not remain alone.
This is often seen these days. For example, the notorious term “friend zone” is just about that. The bottom line is simple: a woman ties a man to herself and keeps a man nearby “just in case”, using him as a safe haven between love relationships with other men.
Secondly, a woman could meet an outstanding man with obviously different genes. And want offspring from him. This also happens today. Usually women describe this as an incredible male magnetism that cannot be resisted.
In the language of science, it sounds like this: a man has a very strong and competitive set of genes that fits perfectly with the genome of a woman. Therefore, a woman chooses such a man as a partner, taking on possible risk be caught cheating.
A researcher from London found that the smarter and more intelligent a man is, the more often he prefers to be faithful. What is interesting: in women, this dependence is not observed, the probability of female infidelity does not depend on the presence or absence of the mind.
The propensity to change is not the only thing that links marriage and intellectual development. Swiss scientists evaluated the parameters of an ideal marriage and came to the conclusion that perfect wife must be 5 years younger and more educated.
4. The higher the level of intelligence of a man, the more faithful he is and the less he is a goat.
5. Choose a smart, but less educated man who is 5 years older than you and perhaps this particular marriage will be ideal. But it is not exactly.
What woman has not flared up at least once in her life: “All men are goats!”? Trying to build a love relationship with the opposite sex, a woman encounters various difficulties. Either she can’t force a man to give her flowers every day, then he constantly scatters socks that smell bad, then he doesn’t wash the dishes, then he snaps when she offers something, then he walks with friends, not with her. I just want to say: “All men are “goats”. Is it really? Psychologists of the online magazine site give advice to women on what to do about it and how not to destroy their own relationships.
The main problem not only of women, but also of modern men, is the inability to accept the differences and characteristics of the opposite sex. Man and woman are different from each other. Despite the great similarity in their structure of the body and even the organization of life, nevertheless, men and women have many differences.
Psychologists have long identified the characteristics of each of the sexes that distinguish men and women. And here arises main question: how will men and women themselves relate to the fact that they are different?
Men and women understand that they are different. Only they forget about it when this difference appears. And here, men often call women "fools" or "bitches", and women men - "goats" and "bastards."
It's not the men who are all "goats" and the women are "fools", but people simply cannot tolerate the difference between the sexes. Men and women are fundamentally different at the level of the structure of the genital organs. Why don't they get angry and call names because of this? Because they accept it, appreciate it, and even rejoice in the fact that they are attracted to something that they do not have.
However, when a woman goes shopping to spend money on various trinkets, which will bring her some sense of satisfaction, a man is very much outraged by this, just as a woman is indignant at a man's predilection for football. People of different sexes simply do not know how to accept, appreciate and be more tolerant of what is not inherent in them, but it is quite natural for the opposite sex. And until people learn to accept it, women will remain "fools" and men "goats."
Psychologists warn women: if you consider men "goats", then your relationship with them is doomed to failure. The same goes for men who call all women "fools." It should be understood that if a person does not have understanding and respect for the characteristics that are inherent in the opposite sex, then he begins to behave unkindly, disrespectfully, without love, which entails the desire of the partner to break off relations.
And now back to the problem when women call men "goats". Are women right? Someone perceives this phrase as a joke. Someone is seriously offended by her. Psychologists have no doubt that women are beginning to see "goats" in their men. There is some truth in the words of women, but it is a little hidden.
All men are "goats" only because women began to see their shortcomings. At the beginning of the acquaintance, the woman, most likely, did not notice what kind of person she was meeting. It is unlikely that a man managed to be an exceptionally ideal partner. Most likely, the woman simply did not pay attention to the behavior, words and mannerisms of the man, which now (over time) began to annoy her. At first, she saw only positive aspects in him. At the same time, the man did not pretend and could not hide his shortcomings. This woman at first did not want to notice the flaws behind that man, who over time, doing the same actions or uttering the same words, began to seem like a “goat”.
Psychologists note that a partner becomes unattractive only because a woman begins to notice his shortcomings. And since she does not accept them and cannot change, although she tried, she soon begins to call the man a "goat."
People easily scatter words, calling each other names. Having made a mistake once or twice, they begin to call all people, and especially the opposite sex, various insulting and humiliating words. But such an approach speaks only of the weakness of the soul, and not of wisdom, rationality or practicality. The mongrel barks at everyone to appear dangerous. But if you attack her, she will hide in a corner. The weaker a person is in spirit, the more aggressive. This means that he resorts to various kinds of false generalizations and insults.
It is not men or women that are bad, but people who give bad names to the opposite sex, refer to them as "fools" or "fools." It's not the people themselves who call themselves that. They don't consider themselves bad. However, others perceive them as such. When everything goes wrong, they don’t solve problems and don’t change themselves, then they blame others for their troubles, calling them various insulting words.
These are not men "bastards" and not women "fools", but simply people who resort to humiliating words, are offended, consider everyone to be guilty, and themselves - the most right. There are no "goats" and "fools" in nature, there are only weak-minded individuals who try to manipulate others with criticism in order to achieve their own benefit.
Lack of desire to find a compromise solution to resolve a conflict situation makes others bad. Perhaps you even felt a strong person in the interlocutor. To knock him off his pedestal, resort to the most convenient way of disorientation. It is easy to call someone bad names, but it is difficult to solve a problem or see your own mistake. But people insult because it's more convenient. Firstly, they made others bad, and secondly, they themselves became good against their background. This is what children do, not adults.
Be respectful of others and especially the opposite sex. First, you do not know the characteristics of those whom you call names. It is not known what hardships they went through or what made them so distrustful or closed off. Second, how can you judge the opposite sex for not being like you? It's like being offended by a pear for not being an apple! Each gender has its own characteristics and needs. If you do not understand them, it does not mean that you are right. It is the critic who makes the mistake of calling someone names for what kind of person they are. He did not bother to understand his partner, but easily fell into the position of a "child" who wants everything to be according to his will.
Don't generalize! If you are unlucky with one person, this does not mean that all people are like that. You are wrong if you think everyone is the same. Otherwise, you are the same as those who offended you! Do not generalize, because you do not know everyone, but only know a few. If someone seems “bastard” or “fool” to you, then think first: why does it seem so only to you, but for other people this person is pleasant and wonderful?
Female psychology is an amazing thing: at first, a woman can admire the unique qualities of her partner, and then, after some time, notice how bad these same qualities are. Why are all men "goats"? Because a woman first admires or does not notice the qualities of a partner, and then tries to correct them.
The main "goat" qualities of a man are:
And here we can include such situations when men really do not do very well:
Psychologists do not deny that there are situations in which men really act very badly. And here, even calling such a man a “goat” will be very little. However, if we are talking about the usual gatherings of a woman with her friends, when she criticizes and resents her boyfriend, then, most likely, the woman simply faced the fact that the man does not want to “dance to her tune” and change at her first desire, that her annoys.
Men ignore what women tell them, and ladies often demand from gentlemen what they do not want to do. Should we be surprised at the discord in relations after such a balance of power? A man usually moves away from a woman, going to the garage, to friends, lingering at work. And the woman, meanwhile, thinks that her partner is a weakling, you do not need to rely on him.
This vicious circle created by the people themselves. As long as a man does not want to listen to a woman, she wants and demands something from him more and more. While the woman insists on the fulfillment of personal desires, the man closes his ears more so as not to hear her. This cycle cannot be stopped until the partners meet each other halfway.
A woman can, for her part, stop demanding. But if a man continues to continue not to listen to her, then everyone will begin to live on his own. She waved her hand and stopped tugging at him. And he will continue to avoid close contacts so that she does not begin to demand anything again.
A man can start listening to a woman. But if she, for her part, continues to demand, insist on her own, force her to do everything the way she wants, then the man may think: “Why do I need this?”. Often, the stronger sex begins to look for mistresses (less demanding and capricious than their wives), as well as looking for hobbies, thanks to which it will be less likely to appear at home.
A man and a woman should go towards each other. A man needs to understand that his partner can also be right. Her needs are worthy of being met. We are not talking about all desires, but only about the most necessary and desired. At the same time, a woman needs to learn that a partner does not always have to follow her lead. He has his own opinion, which he, like her, can consider the most correct. Be moderate in your own desires and keep track of which ones are realistic to fulfill and which ones are beyond your power.
If you trace what a man was and what he became during the entire relationship with a woman, it turns out that he has not changed. Sometimes the quality that first attracted a woman soon began to annoy her. This should be understood if a lady considers all men "goats", although initially they do not seem like that to her.
A woman should not hope that she will meet perfect man. No person is without flaws. In order not to call names offensive words later, it is better to be prepared for the fact that absolutely any of your partners will have their own shortcomings.
If a woman has too high requirements for men, then they need to be slightly reduced, because we are talking about ordinary earthly people. If a woman herself is not perfect, then there is no need to demand from a man what she herself does not possess.
A woman should see from the first days of acquaintance with whom she is building a relationship. A man is already showing his flaws, no matter how nice and correct he tries to be. She makes her choice - to be with him or stop communicating. Therefore, if she chose a man, then let her accept with all his shortcomings. After all, if she accepts him completely, then she can demand that he accept her with all her flaws.
No need to hope that a man will change over time, and for the better, and also that you can influence him. Either you accept a man now and learn to live with such an imperfect one that he is, or you hope and are disappointed, because people do not change over time. You already meet a full-fledged and formed person who is not subject to education.
I remembered how I hung out and drank in the 90s with a company of psychology students. At one of the parties, about someone's birthday, there was their head of practice, an awesome guy. He told a lot of tales. Here is one of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was already somewhere - he told a lot of things and a lot of people. Further - from his words.
About the intricacies of choosing a life partner.
/ In fairness, I note that many men, choosing a life partner, make decisions, to put it mildly, not with their heads. And not with the heart.
The phrase "All men are the same!" is very common among a certain circle of women. It is understood, of course, that "all men are goats." As if there is not a huge number of men who are head over heels in love with their women. Which, until old age, literally blow off dust particles from their faithful - already gray-haired and wrinkled grannies at that time. Who adore children and grandchildren. Seeing in them features - both your own and your beloved.
Once, psychologists at a research center became interested in the characters of women for whom "all men are the same." Selected to begin with a few women with a typically unfortunate fate. Those who were repeatedly "thrown" by men, dynamized with a wedding, thrown pregnant or with young children in their arms, and so on. Moreover, they chose women from different localities, with different levels of education and with varying degrees of material wealth.
Then several dozen very decent men were selected. Responsible. Loving their family. Such that they earn normally. And no problem with alcohol. And so that they literally carry their wives in their arms and do not cherish their souls in children. Naturally, those of them who were already married were asked to remove their wedding rings and not reveal their marital status in any way. For the purity of the experiment. For the same purpose, they were asked to dress approximately the same - a business suit and a white shirt. And also remove all expensive attributes, such as luxury watches and the like. And, attention, they launched one particular bastard into this society. selected. Here there is nowhere to put the stigma - such a womanizer, a bastard and a swindler. Just a prize-winning goat-medalist from the exhibition! Moreover, not even that handsome, - quite an ordinary appearance. And dressed like the rest. Among the selected men were those with a more pleasant appearance. In general, an average man in all external parameters ... We asked the selected women to communicate with all the candidates in the blitz-date mode. Two or three minutes with each candidate. And then indicate the photo with the number of the person who is interested. Of course, without saying anything about the experiment. Like, just a hangout for the purpose of dating.
And what would you think? RIGHT! The very first one launched into these artificially created "paradise" chose that one specially selected moral freak! The rest of the candidates only repeated her words in every way:
- Only one man seems to be more or less interesting. The rest - everything is not that. Tell me, is he not married? Can I have his phone number?
And this is among several dozen specially selected NORMAL MEN!! The dummy goat was changed several times for the purity of the experiment. But, all the same, the overwhelming majority of "clinical abandoned women" without saying a word, unmistakably, chose "the most interesting of all candidates."
Hence the conclusion, - said an elderly psychologist, - When a woman says that all men are goats without exception, it means only one thing. She has a keen sense of smell for these same goats and a thirst for adventure in "her lower 90s." A kind of masochism. According to the principle that Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin formulated: "Ah, it's not difficult to deceive me - I myself am glad to be deceived!" And she not only out of two or three dozen men, but even out of a hundred or out of a thousand, intuitively, but unmistakably, will choose the "prize copy". And it will stubbornly step on the same rake over and over again. And normal men, if one of them tries to drive up to her, she rejects as uninteresting. Is it any wonder that with this approach, almost all the men with whom she had something were goats? This is also a talent - to live "not boring."
- But what about mistakes due to youth, due to inexperience? we asked.
- Mistakes are normal. They learn from mistakes, - he answered, - Is there such a saying? Here! But there are people whom life teaches nothing. Never. In general, happiness to you, youth! Love each other. And think with your head, not ... Well, you understand!
Are all men really goats? And why do many women write about it in their online status? You will receive the answer right now.
A similar article has already been published on our website, which is called: “All men are bastards.”
No matter how hard I tried to protect the male half, I could not resist the onslaught of a purely female argument.
Reading the heated lines, I went to a huge mirror and saw in it a “horned goat”.
Apparently the letter I received made me doubt my personal attractiveness.
And here is the text itself.
My name is Galya. I am from Rostov.
I know in advance that my letter will not be published even in edited form.
But still I write...
In my online status, the aphorism has long flaunted that “all men are goats and are very angry.”
Fighting off the indignation of the townsfolk, I do not consider myself flawed. And from all past grievances, I have already learned useful lessons.
My first goat was called Ivan.
We didn't meet, but we were introduced. Lead Design Engineer!
He chirped me so affectionately that I fell head over heels in love and agreed to marry him.
I worked in production, and he painted his drawing board. He didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t beat and didn’t walk.
Why not live something?!
After two years of marriage, our son Serezha was born, who soon died. It was a great grief: I held on as best I could.
And my Vanka took to drink, in a fit of anger, blaming me for everything.
I didn’t have the strength to pull him out of the “pit”: I myself was on pills and tried to return to normal life.
Of course, everything is also my fault: I missed Vanya, and he sank to the end.
When one day he got drunk to a "white heat", from his room I heard a pathetic goat bleating, which for the first time formed my opinion about men.
We parted.
The second goat was named Andrew.
Note that he also did not sour, made money and was very strong-willed.
I thought that after my first marriage, I would certainly be able to distinguish a goat from a real man, changing my online status to a more encouraging one.
Andrey and I did not sign, but lived in civil marriage more than seven (!) years.
After the experienced nightmare, I recovered a little and gradually began to trust the peasants. Especially to your Andryusha.
We failed to conceive children. The treatment didn't help.
But Andrei said that it is not so important, the main thing is that we are nearby.
Once I became seriously ill, and for quite a long time I could not fulfill my marital duty.
I remember how bitterly I felt about it. But Andrei said that he understood everything, bringing fresh tulips to the hospital for me.
I still remember their aroma... And the aftertaste of my conversation with his new hobby.
An overdressed and self-confident woman came, who, sickeningly pitying me, said that Andrei would never return to her.
Goat- he didn't even have the courage to tell me this to my face.
An hour later, I was pumped out in intensive care. But I survived, once again returning the “goat status” to its original place.
So eight years passed. I was no longer the same as before - with a mop of hair and burning eyes.
I worked, dressed fashionably, ate well, and in every man I singled out goats.
Some of them looked sweatily at the still preserved woman.
Others babbled beautifully, replaying in their minds what was on the mind of every dork.
Some wanted to settle down for free, carefully learning about my social status. And he still showed off where he was doomed.
I lived in a separate apartment, which was oh so many people who wanted it, especially from the villages.
And I will hammer in a nail, and I will save the faucet from leakage, and I will carry it on my hands.
And as soon as they found out that I “can’t give them”, they immediately evaporated in an unknown direction.
My disease began to progress, and I calmed all the goats that curled like moths.
All men are goats, not because we are bastards.
It’s just that women who have had a chance to test them for strength say so.
With graying temples, I rewind the film of my life, in which the men could not prove to me their superiority given by nature.
If you live happily, for God's sake, live. Joy to your home!
But believe me, that your contemplative will turn into a goat when everything that I am telling about happens to you.
The story from the life of a woman was prepared by me - Edwin Vostryakovsky.
Usually, when I hear from subscribers any categorical statement on the topic “everyone cheats”, “all lovers dream of a husband”, “no one leaves the family”, “all wives are fools”, a formidable animal wakes up in me under the name “feeling justice." As a pragmatic person, I always ask you to point me to a source that has accurate statistics about 100% of people.
As a rule, in response, they either send obscenely, or betray their internal problems with giblets.
The phrase "all men are goats", I think, breaks records in terms of frequency of use and is such a collective one. Easily applied to any problem.
It seemed like a commonplace statement. But no, you can actually hear it far from every woman. Especially in all seriousness.
This position has a powerful protective function, with the help of which we will hide from various terrible things.
Like disappointment. After all, it is known in advance to which tribe they all belong, there will be no special surprises.
Or from loneliness. Yes Yes. Do you know how? Pretty simple. Expectations are obviously underestimated, so it’s easier to find a couple for yourself. After all, there are definitely more goats in the world than Ussuri tigers.
Aligning everyone under one, and rather low, bar, does not allow us to drown in envy of others. If everyone is the same, no one can see the notorious female happiness. You can relax on the topic of the fact that Masha is all bathed in care. In fact, we know that her man is also a goat and it’s all for a reason.
Sometimes, by the way, with the help of this postulate, we defend ourselves against relationships in general. If for some reason we are afraid of them or do not want them, such a simple explanation from the outside is right there. Why bother with them, horned ones.
Or, by the way, on the contrary, it is with the help of this statement that we manage to maintain an alliance in which someone does not behave very well. Everything can be attributed to a common tribal characteristic. After all, Vasya is good in himself, just what can you do, nature is like that. This, in my opinion, is generally an ideal position for men who do not really want to strain. And what can you take from me, yes, I'm a goat. And there is nothing to object to. You cry, you scold your girlfriends, they nod, agree, and everything is new. Pasture the beloved.
Most often, the roots of “all the goats” rest on same-sex families, of which there were in abundance in our Soviet childhood: mother and grandmother. Why do we need a dad, we don’t need it at all, they are ... Well, further on in the text.
In general, the story turns out to be convenient from all sides. And it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The other day I had the following conversation on Instagram.
Unfortunately, with 90 percent probability, this girl will fit into an affair with someone who will cheat on her. because, according to her logic, only beggars or impotents do not change. Therefore, if the chosen one does not cheat on her, he will not be able to satisfy her need. What else is left for a young man who wants to impress? Only act according to a pre-prepared installation. To be worthy of her attention.
To be honest, I am not a big supporter of the postulates that “we see only what we want to see”, “the external situation depends on the internal mood”, and so on. There are still things independent of us and mood. Type of euro exchange rate. But here, perhaps, the story about “all the goats” is the rarest exception when I agree with them.
We really have a great need for our internal sensations and the picture outside to match. Therefore, even if all your girlfriends are cheated on by their men right and left, and you don’t have any prerequisites to project it onto yourself inside, you won’t. And the chances of fitting into a romance with a goat will also be much less.
Therefore, when we authoritatively declare that “all the goats”, we say that we don’t really want a better life, and everything inside us is somewhat sad, and even in relationships it’s not rosy. So this is about you girls. And not about the general male characteristics.
All good :)
