Husbands who have gone to their mistress often ask to return. How long will the romance on the side last? Let's analyze the stages of the relationship between husband and mistress.
Unfortunately, not all men realize that cheating can destroy a family forever. Sometimes understanding comes only after the betrayal has already been discovered, the wife does not want to have anything to do with the person who cheated on her. Many women are ready to forgive the offender if he comes back and asks for forgiveness. The husband went to his mistress and I wonder when he will return? Let's look at the stages of their relationship.
Of course, this happens very often. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves. First you need to understand that any relationship goes through several stages.
For example, the first stage is when two people notice each other. This is the stage of potential accumulation, when people look closely at each other, trying to understand whether they like them, whether there can be something between them. The most annoying thing is that the flash often does not occur in 3 seconds. For some, momentum is enough, but many men admit that their passion has been fueled for years, and sometimes even decades.
Will the husband return to the family from his mistress if he has been planning his “escape” for years? Complex issue.
How long does it take for husbands to return from their mistresses?
The stage when everything is fine, the world looks nice, and butterflies flutter in the stomach lasts about 3-4 months. During this period of time, the potential of the candy-bouquet period passes. There is still no time for household trifles, no time for solving some real problems. A man tries to look macho in the eyes of the opposite sex, capable of any feats.
After a few months, many feel that they have played enough. Now they understand that the candy-bouquet period cannot last forever. Not too hardy men may show the first signs of a desire to return to their former lives. When the husband returns from his mistress, you can understand by this “saturation” of his novel on the side.
This is pressure from the girl with a request to decide on a relationship.
To be honest, few people are satisfied with the role of a mistress. For many girls, this is humiliating, and therefore they put pressure on a man, trying to get a clear answer and promises for the future. Moreover, the promises must be quite specific. For example, a mistress can fish out a promise to divorce no later than a month later.
The husband went to his mistress, and you do not know when he will return? At this stage, he may already be thinking about returning to the family, because not every man will divorce his wife, and even more so promise to marry someone again. At this stage, guilt often arises. A person begins to realize that he has hurt someone and offended a loved one. Moreover, there is nostalgia for the old relationship.
When women ask how long it takes for a husband to return from his mistress, I would like to answer that after six months or a year at most, but in fact, not everything is so simple.
When your husband returns from his mistress, only your husband knows.
It all depends on what kind of relationship people are in. We can only say that often after 4-5 months of relationship (if the husband has not yet returned back), a difficult period begins. If your husband does not want to rush headlong into the maelstrom of a new relationship and understands that it was a mistake, then he will not marry.
There comes a period when he tells his mistress that he will call her back. Or he says that the moment will happen when he will settle everything, and they will be happy together again. At this time, he himself is negotiating with his wife and probing the soil. If they are ready to accept him back with open arms, then he can easily reverse and break off all relations with his mistress.
Will the husband return to the family from his mistress,
depends largely on where there is less pressure on it.
In the final stage, when he decides to "call back later," pressure from his wife may, on the contrary, decide the case in favor of the family.
Everything is individual. And therefore it is impossible to unequivocally determine after what time the husbands return from their mistresses. We can only say unequivocally that all stages of betrayal are unpleasant and, waiting, hoping for the return of a once loved one to the family is humiliating. Therefore, it is better to build relationships in such a way that a man understands the full burden of responsibility for betrayal, which will fully fall on his shoulders if this happens.
The everyday situation when a spouse left her husband for a lover is quite common. But the situation when she asks back is not that very rare, they just usually do not advertise very much. Usually, the departure of one of the spouses is accompanied by a storm of emotions, screams, sounds of broken dishes. But reconciliation always happens quietly.
But even in order to accept an ex-wife who has gone to her lover, and now asks to quietly return back, very good reasons are needed. And if now the wife, whom you probably already managed to write down in the category of the former, reappeared on the threshold with a suitcase in her hand and asks to go home, you will probably, at least for a second, think about whether to be or not to be. There comes a moment for which the whole life flashes before your eyes, and all kinds of pros and cons fall on the scales.
If you do not mind, I will spend this conditional second next to you and help you with the right arguments - to allow her to return back or not.
Let's try to imagine what it takes to forgive ex-wife the fact that you spent the best years of your only life on her, worked 18 hours a day, gave her the best, sometimes denying yourself some small joys. All in order to provide her and your children with decent living conditions, and instead of gratitude, you get the news that she left for another man.
The very departure to the lover suggests that the decision seems to be emotional, but not spontaneous. You don't just go to a stranger's house. So, an affair with a lover broke out some time ago, and while you were working hard, you had some aggravating circumstances. In the form of horns. Branchy ones. Who made a Deer out of you. That's right, with a capital letter.
Now think about what went wrong with your missus, that she decided to move out from her lover and asks to come back to you? And, I’m used to not only sleeping sweetly, but also eating delicious food, dressing well, relaxing in good conditions, and the new boyfriend, although he sang like a nightingale, did not succeed anywhere except for alcove pranks. It's unfortunate, but what are you doing here? She had already made her choice, no one had really forced her. Gone means gone. Now it is not your concern to provide for your ex-wife and her whims. And her tears, wallowing in her legs and the fact that she asks to come back should not shake you at all.
After all, who said that their relationship with their lover was over. Perhaps she is asking back because the new lovers are playing a play and want to live a little at your expense. Love is love, but you also want to eat. So don’t be that same Deer, drive her out of the doorway so that there’s not even a spirit.
Of course, it is much more difficult to make a decision if you managed to acquire heirs. Children, especially small ones, can greatly shake the belief that there is no forgiveness for their walking mother. And the fact that in this case she will try to use the presence of offspring for her own purposes is a fact.
But even here you need to keep your head cool. Did she think about children when she went to her lover? Why, when she asks to come back, does she manipulate them? And then, I hope that your desire to remain a father does not depend on whether you live with children under the same roof. And then, no one has the right to forbid you or your parents to communicate with the heirs. If you are not a rag and you still have the courage to throw it out, after which your ex-wife will prevent you from meeting with your children, feel free to sue. Your days for meetings with the child you will be guaranteed. And then it turns out suddenly that you can get full custody. Of course, our laws are humane, and as a rule, the court takes the side of the mother, even the prostitute. But who knows…
You may regret wasted years, money or whatever. However, you only need to regret your own indiscretion. When he got married, did he not consider his wife's "propensity to escape"? Or when she, already being a legal wife, made eyes at strangers? Also did not pay attention, writing off the usual female coquetry? Well, the punishment for inattention in this case, unfortunately, is quite adequate. But I don't want to upset you. I hope you still have enough time ahead so that when you have another woman, make a decision about marriage consciously, balancedly and for life. In a word, thinking with your head, and not with what you thought when you got married for the first time.
If the wife went to her lover, and now you give up, forgive her and let her come back, then it is highly likely that after a while you will run into a problem - she did not sincerely repent. With one it did not work out - she will look for another, a third, until she finds it. Betrayer once - will betray again, it is an axiom. And you just waste time, your best years of life. And then you will again be unbearably hurt. But in addition to time, you can also lose most of your property.
There are women who have gone to a lover, but eventually realize that they made a mistake. Not because they lost something materially, but because when comparing, they understand that it was definitely better in the previous family.
And after the first passion goes away and the woman begins to slowly think with her head, it turns out that such a radical step as leaving for her lover was made recklessly. And he seems to want to go back, but he understands that he can hardly count on forgiveness. It is likely that she will try to return the past, but having received a turn from the gate, she will quite successfully be content with what she has. But there are also such insidious individuals, even though they understand that they made a mistake and will not receive forgiveness - they are ready to shake them out of ex-husband everything to the last penny for the maintenance of your beloved.
My friend Katya, all the years she lived with her husband, regularly went to the left. And while he was earning money with blood and sweat on business trips and on "covens", she had fun in his apartment with various lovers. The birth of a baby not only did not stop her, but only provoked her. How does she lose her former attractiveness? No, she should get twice as many men. And her unsuspecting Sergei continued to work, starting to earn good money. Gradually, their life, through the efforts of her husband, improved - they bought an apartment, then a good car. And Katya continued her walks until, finally, as in a joke - the husband returns from a business trip, and the wife - with her lover. The unfortunate man threw both of them out of the apartment.
But the wife did not even think of asking to return. A high-profile divorce proceedings followed, during which Katya demanded that absolutely all property be left to her. And even when Sergei moved out of the apartment to his mother, she continued to pester him with slander. When, six months later, he bought himself another apartment (you won’t live with your parents for the rest of your life), he sued to get it too! At the same time, she herself lived in civil marriage with a new hack.
Another friend, Ira, went to the resort in her second decade of marriage. Alone, without a husband. With only one purpose. Diversify your personal life a little. With a living husband and son. The result of a two-week holiday romance was Ira's pregnancy. She returned home, told everything to her husband and announced that she was divorcing him and leaving to live with her lover. But as often happens, the lover showed no delight either from Ira's pregnancy, or from her burning desire to live together.
In addition to the fact that he himself considered the adventure over, his wife might be against it. What did Ira end up doing? Fell at the feet of her husband, began to ask to return and had an abortion? Here and no. She told her husband that she would give birth. And since they are already divorced, she sues for the division of property (the apartment was donated by her husband's parents!!!). And she also threatened that if her husband decides to arrange his personal life, her father, a lawyer, will help her sue the entire apartment.
It's time to ask - would you forgive such women? And why did you decide that your ex is not like that? And then - does a woman who was for you the standard of purity, a symbol of femininity, but in fact turned out to be a banal adventurer (and this is very mildly speaking) deserves to come back? And if you take her back, and in a month you find out that she is pregnant - after all, until the end of your life you will ask yourself the question of whether you are the father of the child who was born or is it the fruit of her passion on the side?
I do not condone radical Muslims who execute wives who have gone on a spree, but I understand that an unfaithful wife must cease to exist for at least one man. For you. And even if you raised 100,500 joint children, for you, faith in sincere bright feelings is over - now there is a “before” and “after”. The wife left, and the old life left - now you will be stricter, tougher, more reasonable and you are unlikely to fall into the clutches of the first predator that comes across.
A harsh male “no” will save the fate of you and your loved ones and save you from rash acts.
Ex wife wants to come back
Get your wife back
Women are extremely amazing creatures who often do such illogical things that we men can only come in shock. For this reason, we should not be surprised if the ex-wife, who left you earlier with tantrums and scandals, expresses a desire to cling under your strong shoulder again.
And although this situation seems rather ambiguous, we, nevertheless, will suggest the main line of thought that you should follow when making your final decision.
Remember that at such moments, men most often begin to rush from side to side, dooming not only a possible reunion with an ex-wife to failure.
This case has almost one of the easiest solutions. If you were the initiator of the break with her, then you must be clearly aware and remember the reasons that caused the breakup. You will only need to make sure that these reasons are still there, which means that you should not return to a broken trough. And if everything is not so bad, then again the initiative comes from you.
As a rule, if a man already has a relationship that he cherishes, then he should not return to the one that he previously abandoned himself. Of course, there are small thoughts about the past and a desire to “remember youth”, but the current relationship is still of decisive importance.
If a man is without a second half, then after a couple of meetings with his ex, he feels whether there is a spark or not. And then he himself makes the final decision.
Those. the whole initiative comes from you, what decision you make, this will be the right one! In this situation, you have no room for error.
But this is a real trap, since you have to make a choice in a situation where you do not know all the terms of the transaction. Your wife can talk to you about old feelings and true love, and she herself, for example, can cool down after her last novel, either she needs your money, or she just got bored of loneliness and wanted to ruin your life. Of course, there may be a sincere desire to restore relations with you, but even it appears after she has been battered by life without you. In general, everything is very speculative.
Situation "Constriction". The ex-wife gets in touch with you and offers you to restore the relationship, motivating everything with pure love. Since such a presentation never works, it adds here the desire to give your children a happy childhood and upbringing. Those. she starts to pressure you through your children.
On the other hand, you have either already married another woman, or are close to it, so your new woman is not indifferent to you. This is where the difficult question turns out: “And who to choose in this situation?”
A simple rule applies here: "You should never deal with dubious partners when there are safe options." Therefore, if you are now happy in your new relationship, then you have no moral right to destroy your happiness for the sake of a dubious opportunity to make peace with your ex-wife. But if in the current relationship you are unhappy, then any of your decisions will be correct.
Situation "Lonely breadwinner". When an ex-wife proposes to restore a relationship, and you are not currently in a relationship, then your decision should be careful, and your actions should be slow.
Yes, you don’t have a soulmate now to easily refuse your ex, and the opportunity to be with your ex again cannot but rejoice you. But you must clearly answer yourself one question: “For what purpose is she doing this? Why does she want to restore the relationship right now?
As a rule, you really come across such women who, after some time, realize that their decisions were hasty, and they really do not want to live without you. But there are those who simply solve some of their problems with the help of you, or need some help.
Even if she has a need and such a step is a necessary measure, this generally does not deny your victory over her, but it would still be useful to know the truth. Therefore, before making a final decision, be a little lazy cat, which seems to be cuddling, but not given into hands.
After a maximum of a month of such a relationship with your ex-wife, you will be able to see the true reason. And this will help you make the right decision. If you refuse your offer ex-wife, then this would also be the correct solution.
To get a positive response from you, many women resort to quite effective, but still straightforward manipulations. You should know them so as not to lose the ability to think rationally.
Think about children. This is one of the most powerful manipulations when a woman puts not your feelings and understanding at the forefront, but children. Naturally, any man will be hurt by such a statement of the question, because no one wants to be an irresponsible parent. However, you must understand that first of all you decide the issue of personal happiness, and only then should you think about children. And you know, sometimes life without a father for children is even better than life in a family where parents argue and swear with each other day after day. Therefore, first decide for yourself, then think about the children. This is the only way you can do better for them.
Manipulation of the past. The more time passes, the more bad memories are forgotten and good ones remain. This is a common practice when a person protects himself from negative memories. Therefore, women like to remind a man of the past (good past). Then the man looks back and realizes that their relationship was wonderful, everything was fine, and he is such a fool that he missed such a woman. And then he gets into the clutches of his ex.
To avoid such a situation, you need to look at the current state of affairs, and not admire your past. Then your decisions will be more appropriate.
