Miracle Center - Women's Portal

It is believed that women are more attached to their families than men, that it is women who tend to forgive a lot in the name of preserving the family and relationships. But in reality, it happens that a wife wants to leave, despite the years lived together, for children, for a joint life.

She announces that she is leaving, and life stops, the world around collapses. The husband remains among the ruins and does not know what to do, let his wife go or fight for her. What if she announced her decision and is packing her things or if she has already left?

Let go ... And then how to live? How to live on your own where you lived with her for more than one year? How to have breakfast and dinner alone when used to her? What to do if the wife left with the child, and the husband and father were left alone with wallpaper painted by the hand of their son or daughter and the smell of a child's crown on the shirt?

You don’t need to cut off your wife’s phone, write messages to her with pleas to return or threats to harm yourself or your wife herself. It's incredibly annoying and repulsive.

It is also not necessary to inform parents from any side, friends, neighbors, relatives about her departure and ask them to influence the decision of the wife. If she sees fit, she will tell them herself. And the request to solve family problems coming from an adult man is naive, ridiculous and ridiculous.

And in no case should you set against the mother of her children. Women don't forgive. And children, by the way, almost always take the position of the mother, so the words of the father will only set the children against him.

All these actions will deepen the gulf between spouses.

Wife goes nowhere

Such decisions are made spontaneously. Last night, or even this morning, she wasn't going anywhere, behaving as usual. They didn't even seem to fight. And in just a few hours, she robs things and leaves, or even just runs away without things.

The reasons for such a demarche can be very different:

• a quarrel with her husband, and not necessarily a recent one, perhaps this quarrel was last week or even last month, it’s just that the wife has accumulated negative emotions and overwhelmed her;
• quarrel with relatives of the husband; often this is the fault of the husband's mothers and sisters - mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, who do not hesitate to emphasize the real and imaginary merits of their son and brother and the insignificance of his chosen one;
• husband's suspicions of infidelity.

If such a situation has developed, then the family is practically not in danger. The wife, perhaps, will spend the night with her parents, girlfriend or neighbor, cool down, cry, sort out her grievances and come to the conclusion that she acted recklessly. She will miss her husband and family life decides to return. In this case, the husband's task is to analyze the reasons for his wife's departure and take measures to eliminate such reasons.

If the cause was a personal quarrel, then it is necessary to discuss the cause of this quarrel and find a way to neutralize it.

If the reason was a quarrel between the wife and her husband's relatives, then it is necessary to prioritize once and for all. Family married man are his wife and his children. Neither mother, nor father, nor sisters and brothers should interfere in his family life. Sometimes a man is required to take a firm stand and keep his relatives from interfering in his relationship with his wife. If a man is not ready for this, he needs not a wife, but a mother. In such a situation, divorce is the best solution. It will be difficult for the wife at first, but free her from the oppression of her husband's relatives.

If the reason for the wife's momentary departure is her husband's suspicions of infidelity, then he should convince his wife of his fidelity. Even if a relationship with an outsider took place, admitting to them is paving the way to divorce.

You should not subsequently reproach your wife for her act. She then left in strong emotions, the fault of which was partly the husband himself. You also need to admit your mistakes where only the mistakes of a woman are obvious to the majority.

The wife prepared the "retreat"

If the wife wants to go to a place prepared in advance, then it is almost impossible to return her. She's already made up her mind.

This means that the woman was preparing for more than one day to leave her family. Every step was difficult for her, but she still decided.

Moreover, she prepared first morally, since it is always difficult for almost every woman to leave her usual place of residence, to leave her husband, whom she loved and cared for. But if she goes for it, then her decision is firm and balanced, and the reasons for the decision are very, very serious and significant.

In this case, the wife must be released. Nothing will help, no requests, no arguments. No thunderstorms, no gifts, no whole army of friends and family in a support group.

She will leave, settle in a new place, perhaps begin the divorce proceedings. Emotions will subside and the woman will be ready for a constructive conversation.

At this time, a man can reacquaint himself with his wife. He also had time to think about the current situation, to understand whether he wants to return his wife, to think about ways to approach her.

You need to understand that parting changes a person, and outwardly, a woman who has practically not changed in her soul and heart is now different.

If during this time a woman has not created a new family, or at least has not entered into a new relationship, her abandoned husband has a chance of reunification.

If a woman is in a new relationship and is happy in them, then the probability of her returning to ex-husband tends to zero.

Wife goes to someone else

If the wife wants to leave for another, then usually the man retreats. A picture of adultery is drawn in his imagination, a feeling of jealousy, annoyance, hatred overwhelms him.

Behavior with the persecution of the wife, attempts to call her new chosen one “for a male conversation” usually do not lead to anything good. The wife, after a series of showdowns, scandals and fights, will finally be convinced that she did the right thing by leaving the family.

If a wife announces that she is leaving for another man, then this can mean one of two things:

• either she really found another man for herself and goes to him,
• or she says this to her husband on purpose, realizing that she will push him away and force her to make a decision about parting.

In the first case, a man needs to understand that even if he loves his wife very much and returns her to the family, it will be very difficult for him to live with the thought of her relationship with another. Such families almost always break up a second time, because women voluntarily or involuntarily compare their husband with their lover, and the comparison does not always turn out in favor of the first, and husbands go crazy with jealousy of suspicions, believing that they have gone to another once, so that it prevents them from leaving again and back to another man?

In the second case, the chances of getting his wife back are high. After all, such a lie shows that a man is not indifferent to her, telling him about a fictitious lover, the wife wants to hurt him or make him jealous. This is the clearest example of the very female logic, about which many anecdotes have been composed. With this behavior, she tries to “hit” her husband and tie him to her. As she leaves, she tries to cement her marriage.

Usually this is done by young or immature psychologically and emotionally women who perceive marriage as a game or sports competition.

Living with them is difficult, but many men are attracted to the inconstancy and unpredictability of their wives. They say about such people that they never thought of divorcing them, but they wanted to strangle them every day.

The wife wants to leave with the child

If it so happened that the wife wants to leave with the child, then it is necessary to understand what rights the father has. Women often manipulate children and use them as an instrument of punishment for an abandoned husband or as a tool to manipulate him.

The rights of parents are equal, therefore, both the mother and the father have the same rights to live with their child temporarily or permanently, communicate with him fully, participate in his life at his own discretion and discretion, raise the child, develop him and educate him.

None of the parents has the right in any way to prevent the second parent from seeing his son or daughter, when both of them want it, communicate with him, take him to live with him. Such situations can easily be challenged in court. The courts used to stand unambiguously on the side of the mother, practically depriving the father of the opportunity to somehow realize his paternal status. Now the courts are increasingly taking the side of the fathers and in every possible way protect their rights.

But still, first it is worth solving the matter amicably, and not turning the child and his life into a subject of dispute between two adults offended by each other.

A child should not be associated with a ring in which two former spouse organize competitions.

At the same time, if the wife leaves for such conditions where the child is in danger, a threat is created to his life or health, full education and development, where the child may be subjected to sexual or psychological violence, then the father needs to act immediately and decisively.

Here we are already talking about the fulfillment of paternal duty, which involves the creation of normal living conditions for the child.

Usually women take into account the interests of the child in their plans. But sometimes they are guided only by their own needs.

This happens if a woman is strongly and blindly fond of some man, and in the family she had a very even emotional background. Then passion outweighs motherly love. The new chosen one may treat the child extremely negatively, but this does not stop the mother.

Also, sometimes women become addicted to potent substances, gambling, religion, which also dulls their maternal instinct.

If this happens, the father is obliged to save the child.

Get your wife back

The wife went to someone else. How to get your wife back.

Perhaps one of the most frequently asked questions on psychological forums: “My wife left for another, how to return?” A man paints his story, indicating happy moments and those pranks that he allowed his wife. Everything was fine, and for some reason the wife changed at one point, went to another, filed for divorce. It doesn't happen!

Firstly, women are too insidious to leave one man for another at one moment. This means that she has been building a plan of action for at least six months, and kept you as a fallback. And she finally realized that you are not even fit for a backup option. What to do? - pick up all the documents and check if you have put any signature that will help deprive you of property or the right to children.

Secondly, how to return a woman who has ceased to see a man in you? Of course, there are a couple of ways, we'll talk about it a little later. The question is: why do you need it? You really think that you can live with a woman and know that she slept with another, that she betrayed you. Even the most cold-blooded man will be in a state of anger. Take care of yourself - you still have a lifetime to live.

If you think this is your fault. There are two options to consider here:

• If you drank, beat your wife, then this is not a departure, but an escape from you. Such a step is justified for any woman. And most importantly, she did the right thing!
• If you were a decent family man, but due to work or other affairs, you spent little time in the family - this is not your fault. There are many ways to overcome boredom, and betrayal is already an extreme way that a woman herself chooses. This is entirely her fault. If you want to prove otherwise - please, comments are waiting for you!

Before substantiating the most optimal answer to your question, I will give short excerpts from the answers of people who have already overcome this problem:

• Michael (USA) - My wife left me a year ago. Don't suffer, just let everything burn to the ground. In the end, it will make you stronger. I feel more confident now and choose the girls I date. I will be very happy if other men listen to my advice: go to the gym, read a book on psychology, go on a trip - this will speed up your recovery. This will give you back your strength. Go only forward and do not look back at the past.
• Gleb (Russia) - My wife left me because I paid little attention to her. She found another man who ran after her like a waiter for a rich pontorez. I found the strength in myself and filed for divorce first. Now she had a fight with her gentleman, guess what for? I made only one mistake, I could not immediately choose a normal girl. Wind on the mustache.

My wife left for someone else, what should I do? - Be a man! Think one step ahead! Dump her and give your attention to women who really admire your manhood.

Now let's move on to how to get your wife back. For this, a number of conditions must be met:

1. she didn't cheat on you
2. her romantic relationship with another man began to take shape under the influence of some special atmosphere
3. Do you have eggs
4. You are ready to forgive her.

If any of these conditions are not met, drop it.

What should be done:

1. Women love confident men who know the value of their time and can prove themselves. Therefore, no humiliation, no bending. And most importantly, behave like a man. If she's stupid enough to bring her boyfriend to your house, take him out as hard as you can. No self-confident man would allow such a situation. Of course, check with the district police officer in what framework you can act, and how the gentlemen of the police can help you.
2. Talk to her parents. They can influence this situation, and direct their daughter in the right direction, namely into your hands with tears and forgiveness. If they support your wife, then they raised their daughter with the possibility of cheating on her husband. So, you initially chose a girl from a not very good family. The breed can no longer be corrected.
3. Pay attention to her friends. If her friends tell her what a gallant and confident man you are, then she will think ten times if she is a fool! Throw such an enviable man.

This was all the information you need. Now take a walk and think about all of the above. Remember: the final decision should always be yours!

Dear readers! We will be very grateful if you share with us your life experience or comments related to this topic.

This will help:

HOW TO RETURN YOUR WIFE: from parting to returning

Type:EBook

Price: Paid version

Imagine that the phone suddenly rings. You look at the phone and see that your wife is calling. You are absolutely calm and confident. You know in advance what she wants to tell you. You know she wants to get back to you, she wants to be with you again. And this is not a joke, you can really achieve this!

Short description

Parting with a beloved woman is one of the most difficult and serious tests that men receive in their lives. And we'll be honest, parting changes men. It makes some insecure, weak and emotionally unstable, while others, on the contrary, it makes them change their lives in the right direction.

And we know for sure that women do not return to those who become weak and broken. Women give a second chance only to those who show strength and self-confidence. And this book will help you become just that strong and confident. You can get your wife back and start a new life with her.

Need to act right now

After parting with his wife, many men panic and begin to take chaotic actions. Someone fills up with gifts, someone kneels and begs to return, someone begins to threaten his wife and blackmail with children, and someone even sits down on a glass.

All these actions only worsen the situation and every minute reduce the chances of getting his wife back. However, if you follow our instructions, you will not only be able to get your wife back, but also establish a strong relationship with her. She will want you again, she will call you her man again!

Therefore, do not waste your time on useless activities. Take our instructions and act on it. So you can get your wife back with a 100% guarantee. It really works!

So what's the point

The return of a woman is achieved by new emotions and sensations that she receives from her "old" man. But in order to achieve these emotions in such a difficult situation, you need to apply methods that seem illogical and wrong at first glance. In our book, we describe these methods and explain why they work.

Your task will be to strictly follow these methods. And so you can bring your wife to the right emotions, and she will want to return to you. Everything is very simple!

Advisor to Laymen.ru

The largest male psychological portal, which operates with the aim of supporting and mutual assistance to men. You can always get competent advice, a good guide and live support from us.

Dear readers, today we will talk about a situation where a wife left her husband for another man. You will find out for what reasons this can happen, what prerequisites can be observed in such a situation. You will know how to act if this has already happened.

Reasons for leaving

When a spouse leaves for another, the man wonders what to do in such a situation. First of all, you need to determine the reasons for what happened. We will look at the most common factors.

1. Lack of emotional connection with spouse. A man, returning home, does not talk about the day he lived, both have secrets, various hobbies, no longer spend joint leisure time, caress in the relationship disappears.
2. Intimacy problem. You cannot enjoy each other because the children are around or the desire simply disappears. The partner no longer excites, does not satisfy the needs, perhaps serious physiological health problems have begun.
3. Bad habits of the husband, for example, alcohol abuse, smoking in large quantities, gambling, assault. In such a situation, the departure of your spouse will not come as a surprise to you, she will repeatedly try to change you for the better.
4. Financial difficulties. If a man remains unemployed for a long time and does not think about how to provide for his family, it is not surprising that a woman cannot take such a man seriously.

How to bring your wife home

Let's look at how to get a spouse back to her husband.

First of all, you need to take into account the presence of the following conditions:

• wife did not change;
• a romantic relationship with another guy began due to serious life circumstances;
• you have a strong character, able to forgive and forget what happened.

If at least one of these points cannot be fulfilled, then it is better to leave everything as it is and try to forget about your already ex woman. If everything matches, you need to do the following.

1. Women love confident men. Therefore, do not even think about humiliation or the opportunity to bend before your wife.
2. Chat with her parents. They are able to brainwash their daughter and convince her that the family needs to be saved. Unless, of course, they support her choice. Then the reason is definitely yours.
3. Chat with her friends, convince them of your wealth, success and attractiveness. Let them begin to reproach your wife for leaving such a wonderful person.
4. Try asking your spouse for forgiveness. It doesn't matter if you offended her or not. Just say, "I'm sorry for everything I could have offended you."
5. Rethink your outlook on life. Surely the wife did not leave out of the blue, something provoked it. Perhaps it's time for a change.
6. Learn to deal with your resentment. Of course, a man who only finds out that his wife wants to leave for another already gives up, feels powerless, a loser. However, you need to pull yourself together and fight for your happiness.
7. Start self-development, take care of yourself, your body. Perhaps the reason is the lost attractiveness. The main thing is to achieve such a result that the woman could regret that she left home.
8. No need to pursue her, beg for a meeting, threaten, blackmail her with her life. If this is how you achieve her return, then such a relationship will not be normal and both partners will remain unhappy.

Action plan

1. Determine the circle of people who can help in solving the problem that has arisen, people who support, agree that the wife should return.
2. Collect information about the spouse's new boyfriend, if possible.
3. Analyze the years spent together with the woman you love. Look for reasons that could make her want to find another man.
4. If you find yourself guilty, make every effort to change, to correct your mistakes.
5. Now you need to find contact with your wife and call her to a conversation, convince her of the need to give a chance to the relationship, but you don’t need to humiliate yourself and beg.
6. The main thing is not to do stupid things:

• do not try to find a replacement for your wife, wanting to take revenge on her with the same coin;
• do not drown grief in alcohol;
• do not wash dirty linen in public, telling everyone around how terrible your wife was.

If the wife does return, you should not tell your children about this moment in her biography. Try to forget what happened.

Let's look at what can be done, how to behave in the case when the wife left for another.

1. You don't need to feel sorry for yourself.
2. To make it easier to come to terms with the current situation, go to the gym or go headlong into work.
3. You don't have to hate your spouse. Her departure was influenced by a number of factors. As a rule, the fault lies with both.
4. Treat her like a person with your own needs.
5. If you had a negative attitude towards your spouse, raised your hand against her or drank alcohol, then her departure, in fact, is an escape from such a husband. Her action is justified.
6. If you were an excellent family man, but devoted little time to your spouse due to the fact that you spent a lot of time at work, her departure is not your fault, but the choice of the woman herself.
7. If the wife left with the child, it is impossible to return her, then try to maintain friendly relations so that your separation does not affect the mental health of the baby. It is important that the woman does not interfere with your meetings.
8. If you realize your guilt, first change yourself and only then try to establish contact with your relatives.

Hello!

I am 38, I live in Moscow. Married for 10 years, has a daughter of 7 years. It happened almost from the very beginning, my wife earned more than me. There were no scandals on this basis, but a certain tension was present. And in the spring we both were left without work. My wife found it in July, but I haven't found it yet. And then it turns out that she is disappointed in me, has found another man more successful and more interesting than me and demands a divorce. Lyrically speaking, the sky has fallen. Everything was superimposed on one another, and I just physically feel that I can’t live without them ... I have a strong love addiction, periodic drinking. And emptiness in my soul. No sleep, no appetite. I want to<способ суицида - ред.мод.>. I'm really ready for this...
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Yuri, age: 38 / 09/18/2015

Responses:

You give up easily, Yuri. You can not do it this way. If for your wife the measure of a man's value is his salary, then maybe you should not regret her departure? A daughter is forever a daughter, of course.
You live in Moscow - you have the opportunity to go to the Intercession Monastery to the relics of the Holy Righteous Matrona of Moscow - a great helper to people in all their troubles. Go to the morning service, then say there that you want to work with Matronushka and work, and then you will be taken without a queue to the relics. When you work all the time, ask Matronushka for the enlightenment of your mind and heart in order to correct yourself and your life according to the will of God. She is always comforting and helpful. You just have to do everything sincerely, from the bottom of your heart.

Lena, age: 20/18.09.2015

Yura, good afternoon! Of course, I am not a family psychologist, and the details of your story are unknown (for sure, the wife has her own vision of the situation there), but most likely the whole thing is not at all about work and success. Perhaps love simply died out, or simply what seemed like love turned out to be not love at all. This, of course, is very sad, but let her go. Living with a woman who only needs you when you have money is even sadder. The most important thing to think about right now is your DAUGHTER!!! Now she's at her worst. It was her skies that collapsed and the world turned upside down. It is now for her to see some man next to her instead of her own father. If you don’t have the strength to talk with your wife, and you feel that you can’t return anything (which may not be a fact at all!), Then immediately pull yourself together FOR HER. You are her own father and relying on YOUR attitude towards her, she will build her personal and family life. Don't break this little heart to the end, PLEASE! She needs you LIVE and near. Even if not under the same roof. If you kill yourself, you will kill your child.
Yes, and alcohol is a hell of a path to terrible mistakes. Pack up and get out of there ASAP!

Helga , age: 36 / 09/18/2015

Hello Yuri! I understand how painful it is for you now, it’s too hard to forgive and understand betrayal, but you need to live, no matter what, in spite of everything! Perhaps it's just a coincidence that right now the wife fell in love with another, and disappointment in you has nothing to do with it. Yuri, at the moment, try to closely engage in job searches, you now need to be distracted, fight destructive thoughts. Believe me, time will pass and it will become easier. You will be able to see the child, even after a divorce, you have the right to remain a father for your daughter, spend time with her, walk. Endure a difficult stage, survive, and you will find the strength to move on in life, to achieve new victories.

Irina, age: 09/27/18/2015

You know, it's not that the wife earned more. There are families where only the wife works, but people live normally. And there are families where the husband earns a lot and provides for everything, and the wife takes and leaves. Do not think that what happened is your fault. This, apparently, is some kind of internal problem of your wife. Now she seems to be doing very well. But, who knows, maybe time will pass, and she won't think like that anymore. If a person has a successful career, this does not mean that he can be an excellent husband or father. One does not follow from the other. And you have a daughter. You need to think about it first of all, I think so.
Try to maintain a trusting relationship with your wife, and now decide whether you will see the child. It is extremely important for a daughter to know that she has a real dad. Regardless of whether she has a relationship with this man or not.
Do not fall into despair, in any case. Stay as calm and cool as possible. A child needs a father just as much as a mother. And you must remember this. And any stupid thoughts about suicide must be thrown out of your head. Just think, what example will you set for your child if you do something to yourself?!
No need to be upset. There are difficult trials in life, but everything can be overcome. Everything will be arranged gradually, you'll see. Be sure to stop drinking. It doesn't help at all, not at all. And it only makes it worse.

Olya, age: 42 / 09/18/2015

Yura, your woman preferred someone else to you, this already indicates that she did not love you, you don’t have to cling to such people, let them go, you will visit your daughter, solve this case through the court if you can’t agree on that. And you don’t just have to immediately hit drunks so that bad things don’t happen in life, drink this last thing, don’t make yourself a weakling, you have the opportunity to find a new beloved and start all over again. Cheer up, take care of yourself and your business, go to a psychologist if you are very mentally hard, you will feel better, because it’s worse when a person dies and doesn’t quit, you can survive it, so it was necessary. Good luck and stay strong!

Hope, age: 000000 / 09/18/2015

Yuri, heaven is in place, and you are the father of your daughter, your Princess Yurievna! This is what you need to think about right now! For a girl, as psychologists say, the most important thing in her future family life, and not only in family life, is the LOVE OF THE FATHER. Read the neighboring cries for help, half of them are written by girls, girls, women who did not have a father. Do you understand what I mean? Yes, yes, that's about it. loving father no one will ever replace a daughter.
Divorce of parents is always hard on children, in order to make children's experience easier, parents need to a) remain friends with each other (yes, impossible, yes, hard, but what can you not do for a small defenseless child?) and b) remain mother and father for their princesses. This is the most important task for you now: to do everything so that the person who suffers the least in the separation of the most dear adults is not.
Whether you find a job or not, whether your mood is good or bad, there will be a storm or peace in your heart, the most important thing is to always make sure that your blood knows that dad loves her! What is the most important thing for a child? So that dad wishes you a happy birthday, so that dad teaches you how to ski, takes you to the movies, pats you on the head, teaches you to swim and dive in the summer, enjoys performing at the festival in the winter... Well, what can I tell you, you are an adult, you yourself understand what the child needs. Will your daughter grow up? Whose other love will give a sense of security, a sense of self-worth? Only papa!
There is no time for you, Yuri, to lose heart! Look for a job, recover from parting with your wife, meet your daughter, quit drinking, in a word, do important things! God help!

Elena, age: 58 / 09/18/2015

As it turned out, love and love addiction are not at all the same thing. When a person is exactly loved, they wish HIM, first of all, happiness, love, success, all kinds of pleasures and receive joy in their souls from this. I can understand between a mother and a child. But they say that such relationships also exist among adults. I have never met such people. In such cases, they don’t suffer, but rejoice that their loved one has become better than it was. I would like to look at them and learn from them. And, in the case of love addiction, everything is exactly the opposite. And here you already have to forcefully turn on your brain so as not to aggravate the situation for yourself. you will fight stress with the help of alcohol, worsen your prognosis. Do not do this in any case. Now a psychotherapist will help you cope with love addiction. time, any average man, if he is not yet in the last stage of alcoholization, is in demand in the grooms market, which means that he has much higher prospects for arranging his personal life than women. Only one cherished rule in this case works for men - DO NOT DRINK !!! AND YOU WILL HAVE HAPPINESS AHEAD. And do not harm your "ex" by word or deed, no matter how difficult it is for you. And it paid off a hundredfold in the future and in your relationship with your daughter, and when your personal life improves and it will definitely get better, if you don’t even want to, at least because of the shortage of men) with your ex-wife. Now you definitely need the help of a psychotherapist and you don’t have to delay it. I wish you good thinking, Yuri, patience and the right actions!

Lyudmila, age: 65 / 09/20/2015

From the author. Thank you all very much for your responses. Very nice. Last night I stood on the edge, but overcame myself. Everything will be fine. I stopped drinking alcohol, calmed down, went into online training for new standards. Thanks again!

Yuri, age: 38/21.09.2015

Hello, I'm 33 years old, my wife is 3 years younger, we lived together for 9.5 years, 5 months ago my wife offered to leave, found another, we haven't officially divorced yet, I'm on the verge, I know that I'm a man, but I can't, I love her, my soul hurts, I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid that I won’t have time to “win” her again, there’s still not much and I won’t be able to return her at all, if now this is not the situation!, she still communicates with me, but very reluctantly, according to her everything is always fine with her, she is now very very happy and they love each other without memory, her friend is from another city, we work here in the same company with her, she is married, has a daughter, but she and her wife also passed, promises my wife divorce her, but pulls rubber, feeds my wife with “breakfasts” - she tells me all this herself when we see each other. Yesterday I wrote her an SMS “I want to see you”, the answer is “I don’t want to, I’m very far away”, I: “well, let’s not today”, the answer is “never”. As I see her, I’m trying to improve relations, but everything is in vain, she is friends with my sister, and she says that “as soon as he starts talking about our relationship, he pushes me even more away from him, but at the same time“ he doesn’t knock the thresholds, no surprises, nothing but rare flowers, text messages with confessions and poems, and what else does he want? but all to no avail, the fact is that she didn’t love me for several years (as she says), they say they lived out of habit lately, but she was silent about this, went aloof, passive-depressive, answered my constant questions about her condition everything is fine, just tired, I’m resting, don’t pay attention, she said that she was bored, I want to take a walk with my friends at work, I let her go, but later, apparently, male friends also joined, 1 call was in 2009 (she was tired of our relationship and such a life, but she didn’t have anyone at that time , offered to live separately), then in 2011, but these times I managed to convince her that everything would work out and be fine, the last final break-up call in January 2012 (she admitted that she fell in love with another person and wants to leave). There are shortcomings in me 1) life, mostly at home, sometimes meeting with companies (I somehow had no friends lately, so relatives and acquaintances, domesticated) 2) my frequent job changes (I am a sales manager), in breaks I have no money, i.e. I am on her neck, 3) I am meticulous, I like order in everything, I can’t close my eyes to the little things, a bore, as she called me, 4) 1 year could not conceive children, which of us is not exactly clear and the last 5) I she was not satisfied with the bed lately, although I would not say so at all, to which she replied that she was feigning an orgasm. It's kind of like that. What do you think my chances of getting her back? Right now, she’s having a period (pink glasses - ROMANCE, which she missed so much with me), which can pass, and what’s next, grinding the relationship again? .. I think I should not let her forget about herself, periodically remind ( well, within reason), show her that I’m changing for the better (for the sake of I’m ready to compromise), admit to, care for, invite me somewhere (right now it’s tight, again without work, I’m getting a job the other day), I should have everything it will work!!! But how exactly do you do it???
When talking with her, my sister realized that I simply had no chance, she was head over heels in love with a new friend, she says better forget her, start all over again, and then you want to try, maybe it will work out. She told me all the brains about my wife, she says right now there’s no time for interesting jobs, if you want her back, at least get a job where they just pay good ones. So I spat on my beloved, and decided to go for. After all, I thought that if the husband does not work, the wife can support him, and vice versa. Moreover, she likes her work, and she never wanted to quit, of course, she had problems at work, but not before her dismissal, and I didn’t like my work, so I sorted it out. Got to the point of breaking up the relationship.