It is very difficult to look at a loved one who is degrading right before our eyes. The once beloved spouse is changing every day, aggravating his situation and destroying family life.
Despite constant binges, you need to try to explain to your spouse that further drinking will completely destroy them. life together. But you should not expect that a man will seriously think about your words and stop drinking every minute. There are such positive stories, but they are a minority.
A person suffering from alcohol addiction very rarely recognizes himself as sick and in need of help. Alcoholics believe that they can quit their addiction at any time without much difficulty.
Alcohol abuse is the result of dissatisfaction with life. You need to understand that even a man who has quit drinking may not get rid of eternal apathy.
It will be very difficult to restore normal relations with him. In such a situation, it is better for a woman to muster up the courage and leave her alcoholic husband.
This decision is not easy for many, but it will be the only correct one in the current difficult situation.
First, you need to look at the problem from a different perspective. Once you loved this man, but he lost your trust and destroyed a normal family life.
It turns out that the spouse has lost the chance to win your love again. And you shouldn't feel sorry for him.
It is necessary to switch attention to yourself and the child. The man himself made a choice in favor of alcohol, and you can no longer count on him.
Some women are forced to live with an alcoholic husband because they have children in common. And this is very strange, because a normal father from a drunken alcoholic will definitely not work.
A man will not be able to set a good example for children, but the possibility of harm to their psyche and physical health is not ruled out. You should not injure a child with the appearance of a constantly drunk father.
This is a completely natural question for a woman who has decided to leave her husband, but does not understand how best to do it.
First of all, it is necessary to clarify the relationship with the spouse. Let him know that you were waiting for some changes on his part, but you see no other way out than a divorce.
Here you need to prepare for resistance. A man may beg you to stay and promise that he will definitely stop drinking.
But it would be wrong to believe such promises. Alcoholics are very resourceful and will do anything to keep a person from whom you can take money for alcohol.
True, in some cases, a man may take up his mind to try to return his beloved wife. Do not answer his calls and agree to meetings. After you return, he may start drinking again. Giving your spouse another chance is pointless.
According to statistics, most women return to their spouses to try to establish a life together. But in the end, everything repeats itself from the beginning. After some time, the man again goes into a binge, and the woman realizes that she made a mistake.
Alcohol addiction is a huge problem modern world. This chronic disease affects not only the person himself, but also, first of all, the family and loved ones. What is it like to live next to drinking husband? Where did the person who once fell in love and with whom they created a family disappear? Now, instead of an attentive spouse, a degrading creature, sometimes aggressive and completely insane, is waiting at home every day.
What to do in this case? Trying to fight for the family and do your best to heal the person? But alcohol addiction, especially in the last stages, completely destroys a person, and in some cases, the only way out is to part with an alcoholic husband. But how to do it correctly and with less losses?
Sometimes leaving a drinking spouse is the only acceptable chance to start a new life.
Narcologists distinguish three stages of alcohol addiction and the previous period, called the "prodrome". With a prodrome, a person is not yet considered an alcoholic, but he drinks constantly and is at risk. Being in this state, a person rarely drinks alcohol alone, preferring to drink in companies.
In the prodromal stage, a person can easily give up alcohol on his own and fully restore health. There is no significant craving for alcohol yet.
At the initial stage of the development of alcoholism, a person is constantly accompanied by a growing desire to drink alcohol. Such a need is similar to the feeling of hunger or thirst. It is sharply aggravated as a result of negative moments: experiences, quarrels, problems, fatigue. The first stage of alcohol addiction has the following features:
The patient uses alcohol on an irregular basis. But periods of sobriety can suddenly change into drunken states that last up to a week. Significantly reduced self-criticism. A person always finds an excuse for addiction and does not consider himself sick.
Stages of development of alcoholism
At the moment, there is a rapid development of the disease, the volume of alcohol taken increases sharply. Moreover, the ability to control the dose disappears after the first glass taken. This time is characterized by the appearance of withdrawal syndrome. And.
Withdrawal syndrome is a condition accompanied by somatic disorders. It arises against the background of refusal for any reason from alcohol, which has already become a physiological norm of life.
Withdrawal visits a person, bringing with it the following symptoms:
At this stage, a person may develop delirium tremens. This condition is also called “alcoholic delirium” or “metal-alcohol psychosis”. The syndrome appears against the background of the cessation of drunkenness and is accompanied by acute nervous breakdowns, aggressive manifestations, hallucinations and delirium.
This is the time of a powerful decrease in the body's tolerance to ethyl alcohol. Now, in order to achieve the desired condition and get the necessary intoxication, only 1-2 glasses are already enough for a person. With further drinking of alcohol, the strength of intoxication no longer increases, despite the fact that the concentration of alcohol in the blood increases.
Alcoholism completely destroys the whole personality of a person.
The third stage is characterized by uncontrolled and powerful cravings for alcohol. The patient now drinks constantly, the duration of drunken states increases. Alcoholic delirium becomes a frequent companion. There is a pronounced degradation of the personality and against the background of deteriorating health. Alcohol metabolites have already affected all internal organs.
A woman suffering from family life with her husband, an alcoholic, always primarily interested in the question, is it possible to cure alcoholism. The prognosis of therapy depends entirely on the duration and amount of alcohol regularly consumed. In particular:
The life expectancy of a patient with alcohol addiction is 15-20 years less compared to a non-drinker. More often, the causes of death of addicts are complications caused by a chronic disease and the development of diseases in connection with drunkenness:
Accidents and suicide attempts are a common cause of death for alcohol addicts. It is in this category of citizens that the highest increase in disability is observed. Patients become disabled due to various pathologies caused by alcoholism.
It is extremely difficult to watch how the once beloved husband gradually degrades, completely dissolving in the abyss of a drunken world. And, of course, a woman needs to make every effort to still try to save her family and pull her husband out of the pool.
Consequences of alcoholism
Remember that the treatment of alcoholism is a long and difficult process. The specifics of treatment depends on the degree of the disease and the state of health of the person. The difficulty lies in the difficulty of persuading the patient himself to therapy.
And sometimes a woman is faced with a choice: to leave her alcoholic husband or spend her last nerves on sometimes fruitless attempts to return a person to a sober life. And no matter how bitter it is not to realize it, sometimes the only way out of this situation is to divorce a drunkard.
The most important thing is to come to such a decision on your own and discard the last doubts about the correctness of the conclusion. What can stop?
A pity? Yes, once this man was loved and adored. But only he did not take advantage of the chance for happiness and ruined his own life, while simultaneously killing his wife’s nerves / psyche. After all, despite all the arguments, persuasion, requests, he does not stop drinking. Does such a person need pity?
In such a situation, you should feel sorry for yourself, your gloomy joint future. Is a husband who has lost his human appearance able to give happiness to his wife, set a good example for children, what will he teach them? An early introduction to the bottle?
Losing a father for a child? By the way, this is one of the common reasons why a woman continues to endure her husband's drunken antics. But this is the greatest self-deception, based on the unwillingness to change something in the usual and very sad life with an alcoholic. An alcohol addict is not capable of becoming a real, good father. Moreover, the likelihood of stress and mental disorders in a little man is high, when he constantly sees his dad drunk and insane.
You should not continue to injure the child. The most reasonable thing for his future is to get away from the drunkard and start living anew. And the father, if he really wants to be a dad, will be able to visit the baby, of course, only when sober.
It is not difficult to make such a decision, it will be much more difficult to implement it in practice. Especially if a man is a long-term and chronic alcoholic with a violent temper. The unpredictable nature of a tyrant will not allow you to part quietly and peacefully. Such a person will make all existing attempts to stop his wife, up to a scandal with assault.
If alcoholism is not cured, then over time, drunkenness will take a dominant position in a man’s life.
So how to get rid of an alcoholic husband forever and do it painlessly? First of all, you should arm yourself with patience. You can not provoke scandals, unleash disputes. And you should not make sudden attempts to leave suddenly, before you should think everything over carefully.
In order not to lose anything during a divorce, you should arm yourself with the qualified assistance of a lawyer or divorce lawyer. For the sake of the interests of the child and in order not to lose material rights, it is worth proving in court that the husband is an alcoholic. You can recognize a person as a patient with alcohol addiction in the following ways:
By the way, if the patient is recognized as incapacitated (this usually happens in the last stages of alcoholism), he loses the opportunity to dispose of all property. And he can make any transactions only with the permission of the appointed trustee.
The norms on carrying out measures on the fact of recognizing a person as alcoholic and incompetent are regulated by Articles 30 and 281 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
The problem with housing becomes one of the most important issues when trying to part with a drinking spouse. How to kick an alcoholic husband out of the house if he does not leave, professional help from lawyers can also help in this matter.
Lawyers will also help you deal with the issue of paying further alimony. According to the current legislation, during a divorce, a man (even deprived of parental rights) is obliged to deduct 25% (per child) of all his income.
Features of a family in which there is an alcoholic
It would be better if he is notified of the decision by the same lawyer or lawyers. If the spouse decides to do it personally, you should not have a conversation without arming yourself with the support of one of the male relatives (father, brother, uncle). An alcoholic is completely unpredictable in his reactions, and such a meeting, and even with such a statement, can end sadly.
So, the whole process of parting with an alcohol addict can be reduced to seven basic steps. They are in the following points:
A new time in life begins, a time where there is no, and there will be no more drunken scandals, tears, pain. You can’t be afraid to start something new, this is a mistake that you just need to learn from in order to prevent this from happening in the future. And remember that starting all over again, a person discovers the possibility of a new life, happy and successful.
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I sit on the bed and look at my husband. He lies on the floor and wiggles his bare feet. Sagging, almost feminine, breasts, a flabby belly hanging to the side, a puffy, flabby face. A faint murmur is heard. He urinates. God! And this is my husband! My Lyoshka, a blue-eyed handsome man, an athlete with a Viking face, with a blond wave over his bold eyes, at the sight of which the heart broke from a dizzying height ...
After a little fidgeting, he hardly climbs onto the bed. Pulls off his panties and spreads his legs. With the fingers of his right hand, he takes something miserable, pathetic, sluggish by the tip, pulls it away and asks with naive pride: “Do you like him?” “Very much,” I answer ironically. He doesn't sense irony. “Then take it,” he authorizes condescendingly magnanimously. There is nothing to do, I pick up this something that resembles an empty sausage skin, and start ironing. It is necessary - he is terribly strong physically. The mood of a drunkard is changeable, like autumn weather, spoils in the blink of an eye. But what he always has is the desire for sex in the complete absence of opportunities. Sexual impotence combined with lust is an amazingly vile thing.
Finally he falls asleep. But you don’t have time to breathe a sigh of relief, and he is already again goggling his meaningless eyes, stretching somewhere, torn, demanding something, what exactly is impossible to understand, the language is slurred. But unexpectedly, a checkmate is clearly obtained. I am regularly sent to the three most popular letters in Russian every half a minute. Finally, he wakes up completely and yells: “I want to eat!” This is already serious. I'm going to feed him. The process of his eating deserves a separate poem.
He sits at the table swaying and naughty hand tries to grab a spoon. After a while, he succeeds. He wants to scoop up the soup, but the vile spoon twists out of his fingers and flops right into the soup. Now he catches the spoon already in the soup, turning the potatoes and vermicelli right on the table. With five fingers, he scoops up the inside out and stuffs it into his mouth. His whole face is smeared, a string of saliva hangs from his lips and falls into a plate. I turn away, suppressing an attack of nausea ...
One of the phases of his drinking is the obligatory desire to fight. He served in the special forces, where he was taught the techniques of hand-to-hand combat, and he, drunk, wakes up the reflexes acquired in the army. He wants to vent his aggression. And since there is no worthy opponent nearby, family members come into action.
He teased his fourteen-year-old son like a puppy, trying to piss him off, to challenge him to a fight. He forcefully stroked his face from top to bottom, wrinkling his nose and lips, tugging at his genitals, saying: "You'll get turned on by me now, come on." My son was shaking with indignation and humiliation, clenching his teeth, clenching his fists, and I stepped on his foot under the table, begging him to be patient. If the son does not stand it, answers him, then the hundred-kilogram beast will crush and break the fragile boy.
The son endured. He got up, kissed me, said good night. And after a while there was a noise in his room, the screams of his daughters. She ran to them. The son vomited. He hugged me and said: "Mom, I swallowed the pills." “Son, what have you done?” - I screamed and rushed to look for the car. Interested in the mess, the husband entered the room, and the son, thinking he was going to die, said: "I hate you." For this, her husband beat him. Of course, it hit me too: “He hates me, and you take him to the hospital? Bitch, scum!" and started punching me in the face.
My lips were bloody, swollen, and he was happy: “What, bitch, your mouth won’t close? Kiss Me!" I touched his lips. “What are you kissing on duty, bitch? Kiss with passion! And I kissed him again and again with broken lips. So that daughters do not get it. How many times he threw his daughters on the floor, hit his head against the wall, strangled a 16-year-old fragile girl ...
Here are some pictures of my life. I am not alone. A. has scars all over his head from his husband's beatings. B.'s drunken husband threw a 2-year-old child out the window - miraculously survived. V.'s husband beat off her kidneys and spleen twice, she was in the hospital twice, they sewed something on her. G.'s drunken husband almost poisoned the whole family with gas. Drunken D. introduced his 12-year-old daughter to drinking and cohabitation.
You can list indefinitely. Drunkenness in Russia has assumed the proportions of a national catastrophe. I work at a school as a teacher and I see that every year there are more children who are not able to build the simplest logical circuits or even simply reproduce what they read. And these are the children of alcoholics.
I tried to divorce him, but there was no money to go far, so we stayed with him in the same village, he still went around and made scandals. Now one more reason for scandals has been added - a divorce on my initiative.
Driven to despair, I wished my husband dead more than once. She wished, and then she remembered: “Yes, what am I doing, it’s a sin to wish another to die.” (I am a believer.) But then I think: is it so? Is this how the Lord intended man?
Doctors and lawyers around the world are arguing about the legality of euthanasia. For alcoholics, euthanasia is perhaps the only remedy ...
L. S., Ulyanovsk region.
I always worry about our gentle and sweet. You walk down the street, and a very beautiful woman meets you, you can’t take your eyes off. Yes, for this, I am ready to go to the fire with Bruno, and then God will judge.
What do you think? Gentle and affectionate, they are much weaker than men and in life they have to endure, just a rough male affection. Makeup, that one was probably invented in order to hide the innocent fun of men. Only women know what they hide under a thick layer of putty. You look at some ladies, they should give flowers, but kiss their little fingers, and they live with bastards who are not even worthy of this very little finger. Beatings, drunken scandals, turn into a way of life, and make-up in the morning.
I have always said to women that it is better to live with a real man than with an unloved man. After all a real man besides his wife, he always loves other women and does not allow himself to insult them, not only hit them. Life is given to us alone and to live it with an unloved husband or with an alcoholic is the same as going through life without leaving the swamp. God invented love to make people happy, everything else was invented by people. You just need to change your mind and decide.
I am surprised at the gentle and affectionate when they begin to think. The bravest usually hire a hitman. Then the news says it's a cop set-up. Those who are smarter, all summer pick mushrooms along the MOSCOW-SIMFERPOL road, which are easier to hit on the head with a frying pan. Women, they always excel in their minds, but not in the ability to bring their plans to the end, the chicken is to blame.
For gentle and lovely!! If you decide to get rid of your drunk husband, without killers and frying pans, I give a universal recipe. Look at your drunk from the other side. If not needed? If yours is rude and not polished, in your opinion a dork, a moron and a bastard in general, forget these words. At the mere mention of fishing or hunting, immediately support him. The phrase, "Of course go dear. You work so hard. I'll miss you" should become a regular in your vocabulary. Leave the words drunkard, drunkard in your head. They act on any man, like a bullfighter dressed in a red suit, but who has forgotten his cloak and rapier in the locker room. When gathering your husband for hunting or fishing, buy him 3 liters of vodka. He will refuse, they say I have already taken it, say the second duty phrase: “Maybe not enough, because last time it wasn’t enough. Yes, and friends can be greedy, take a little. All duty phrases must be spoken with affection and tenderness, with love in the eyes. Dear ladies, when hunting and fishing, there is no extra vodka. More than 10 liters, not a single drunk can stand it. Or drown, if a fisherman, or he will be shot on a hunt, if a hunter. And if not one or the other, they will either kill him in everyday life or he will decide whom. How many of these fools are sitting in Russian prisons or lying in the cemetery. And it will take much less money for vodka than for a killer and courts. And leave other options. Beautiful women should decorate a man's life, and not sit in prison.
Reviews
And if the husband does not like fishing and hunting, does not go anywhere, drinks at home and you cannot expel him to friends? he very rarely travels, and with them he is always kind, keeps himself in control, and at home, when he drinks, he begins to rush at me and at the children. I bought him so much myself that you can get drunk, so he drinks in moderation, he only gets drunk and blows his mind, he doesn’t drink to hell, he’s afraid to die. What do you recommend then?
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Dear guests, friends and blog readers, hello! If you have visited the page, it means you are interested and I am very glad about it. Before starting to write today's article, I thought for a long time where to start ...
The topic that I decided to touch on today is very complex and unpleasant. Let's talk about alcoholism. Unfortunately, if there is a person in the family, to put it mildly, who is addicted to this snake, the whole family suffers.
It happens differently, people get married, are happy, and suddenly something terrible happens. People start drinking and can't stop. Again, others suffer, what to do, what to do?
In the article:
Passion for alcohol is, of course, a disease. This disease is caused by the constant use of alcohol. The body constantly requires this potion. The psyche begins to collapse.
Warning!
Alcoholism is a chronic disease that destroys internal organs such as the kidneys, cardiovascular system, nerves, digestion, and respiratory organs. All these organs begin to hurt due to prolonged alcohol intake.
Because of alcohol, a person completely changes the nervous system. Functions of a liver and kidneys are broken. This happens due to systematic poisoning with alcoholic poisons.
Put something cold on your head, you can use a rag soaked in cold water or ice. You can also do an enema with cold water. You say cold water will chill everything. With alcohol poisoning, such an enema can be done.
After you have washed the stomach, give the patient two tablets of activated charcoal and be sure to call the doctor.
Both alcohol poisoning and intoxication will well relieve ammonia or mint alcohol. Twenty drops of alcohol in a glass of water. If a person poisoned by alcohol is unconscious, immediately call an ambulance.
You yourself will not be able to wash the stomach of such a person. This can only be done in a hospital. I still don’t know how to treat alcoholism and help a person with alcohol intoxication. I really hope that the tips given in the article will help you and save your family and friends.
Be healthy.
