Why is he leaving loving man and why are they leaving loving women?
Despite the fact that love reigns in the family, its disintegration is quite often observed, and in some cases the initiator is the representative of the stronger sex. What is the reason? Why does a loving man leave? After all, very quickly he gets used to the comfort created by a woman:
It is difficult to part with pleasant amenities. If the beloved nevertheless packed up and left, this indicates that he had already decided everything a long time ago, created the rear in advance and pondered the decision about who was after all and what was dearer to him. To know and understand why men leave loving women, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of the situation, to characterize the behavior of both partners, and only after that it is quite possible that the true reason for what happened will become clear.
To love and be loved is the dream of all people, it can become a reality with just a little effort. You just need to always be yourself, pay attention to those who are around. Together it is always easier to deal with problems.
To come to terms with the fact that a person with whom you really had a great love has left you is hard. Whether? Was. Why did it end? But this is the most interesting.
“Love is the main value”, “love conquers everything”, “true love does not pass”, - I can continue this whole series of sugary phrases that we memorize in childhood.
No, I'm not a cynic. I believe in true love. Moreover, I even believe that I myself married my soul mate. But I also believe that love is not everything. After all, before my eyes there are hundreds of examples when truly loving couples got divorced anyway. Yes, these were real feelings, but, alas, they never managed to save them.
As a result, the relationship ends, and every second woman in such cases asks only one question: “What went wrong?”.
After all, everything was perfect, both of you were more than invested in a relationship, but suddenly - bang! – and everything went down the drain. Why did love end? I have seven answers.
He doesn't feel that you appreciate him.
If at least once in your life you were interested in male psychology(at least superficially), then you probably know: men do not just want, they crave recognition. If they do not receive it, their existence becomes meaningless, and the soul simply dies. Well, not everything is so dramatic, but, seriously, never forget: the feeling of being needed is what keeps a man in his relationship with a woman. If he understands that you do not appreciate him, then no matter how much he loves you, he will leave.
And it's not about just saying "thank you". You must really, from the bottom of your heart appreciate everything that he does for you, support his goals, ambitions and desires. Yes, perhaps you will not coincide in some way, and it will seem to you that there is simply nothing to praise him for. But this is a mistake, because whatever the outcome, his original intentions were positive.
The vast majority of men admit that they left their lovers as soon as they stopped feeling needed. They just didn't like the relationship anymore. End of story.
You've changed
Of course, when two hearts begin to beat in unison, life around begins to change. You become family to each other, your relationship is more stable, but this does not mean at all that now you can no longer try.
I'll explain. If now your relationship is radically different from how it began, then it's time to think about it. Maintaining the "memory of the past" allows you to keep the spark in the relationship, those special feelings that you experienced when you first fell in love with each other. The brain will remember all those emotions when you just got to know each other, and accordingly fuel your interest in a partner in five, ten and twenty years.
Another important sub-point here is also banal self-care - something that many of us neglect when they begin to believe that love has already survived all the trials. Of course, no one is asking you to always be in full dress (it's okay to relax), but still, don't forget about yourself. Emotionally, you yourself will feel more confident, and your partner will constantly feel interest in you.
In a word, of course, it is not necessary to go headlong into the 80s. But still, try every time to draw a parallel between how you behaved when he fell in love with you, and how you behave now. Men forgive us aging or extra pounds after pregnancy. What they do not forgive is apathy.
He feels that you are unhappy with him.
This is due to the basic need of a man to be needed. Roughly speaking, the logic is this: if you are unhappy with him, then you do not need him. Therefore, he will leave you - no matter how beautiful you are.
If, on the contrary, you appreciate everything that he does for you, he begins to feel his own importance. Moreover, he begins to feel the need for development in order to be even better. And that's always a good sign.
On the other hand, don't expect it to be his job to make you happy. Then it will be a substitution of concepts. Your feelings are your feelings. His task, from his point of view, is to help ensure that his presence or any actions are significant for you in the most positive sense. In other words, if you are equally happy both with him and without him, he will leave.
Your communication is a complete mess.
If there is not a single good note in communication between partners, the relationship begins to seem like a continuous burden. As a rule, this happens when both partners see their union as the only possible source of happiness, instead of being fueled by positivity from the outside and bringing it into the house.
Believe me, a woman who deliberately waits to be made happy becomes a burden for a man.
There are almost no neurotics among men, because their logic is extremely simple: you need to avoid the bad and develop the good. Yes, everyone has hard times - it's naive to think that your couple will never face them. But if negativity and eternal problems have become your daily reality, you need to take action. Otherwise, you will break up very soon.
you have different goals
And do not underestimate this factor. Perhaps, once upon a time, you decided that “love will survive all obstacles,” but here it is important to understand that different values \u200b\u200bare one of the most insurmountable obstacles. A lot of couples have broken up in my lifetime, and a lot of them because of such an obvious reason that both chose to ignore. Do not doubt: sooner or later it will make itself felt.
One is mine good friend left his beloved a couple of days before he was going to propose to her. The girl was beautiful, but, alas, she was too fond of spending money on all sorts of little things, and my friend, on the contrary, loved to save money, because he felt stable only when he had at least something in his soul. And they, of course, could have compromised - but no one wanted to give in.
The difference in life goals can manifest itself in everything: in the desire or unwillingness of children, in their number, in the choice of urban or rural housing, in religion, and so on. If you don't communicate your values up front and agree on a compromise solution, you're likely to fail. Be realistic and don't think everything will work itself out.
You keep trying to change it
“I will change him” is perhaps the biggest mistake of all women who enter into a relationship. No matter how delicate you are, he will still feel that you are trying to judge him and mold him into someone he, by definition, is not, or even worse, someone he simply does not want to be.
I do not argue, you and I have a phenomenal ability to change our lovers. But still, do not forget to give your man his own space so that he himself can develop the best in himself. Do not put pressure on him, do not grumble and do not “nag” - a permanent sense of guilt has never had a good effect on a relationship.
You are dependent
If you are emotionally dependent on your man, expect trouble. As a rule, such relationships very quickly become so toxic that they simply explode. Believe me, it will not be pleasant for anyone to constantly serve you as a vest, and even more so for a man who, as you know, appreciates his own time and space. In addition, if you depend on him for everything, he will feel too much pressure. And he will leave. Won't stand.
Emotional abuse is a very big sin. Appreciate autonomy in relationships, develop yourself to bring something new into your union. Men are not always able to explain that they do not like something. They just feel it and leave.
Summary
And yet, if you feel that none of these reasons suits your particular situation, maybe you should think about the fact that he just didn’t love you enough? After all, human relationships do not always lend themselves to logic or any intelligible explanation. But what is known for sure is that if people really love each other, they will fight for their union.
Just love, but that's not all. It is impossible to exclude from the relationship such factors as compatibility, characters, values. You need to invest in your feelings every day. Once you stop doing it, everything will fall apart.
Remember: men don't just leave. They leave at a time when nothing can be saved.
Sometimes it happens that a man leaves the one he truly loves. And not because he is afraid of responsibility. And not because it seems to him that he is not yet ready for family life. And not even because the woman cheated on him.
Here are five of the most common reasons why a man leaves the woman he loves.
Male psychology is such that recognition is very important for them. And not just at work. The feeling of being needed is what keeps a man close to a woman. If a man understands that a woman does not appreciate him, he ceases to see the meaning in the relationship. If, on the contrary, a woman appreciates everything that a man does for her, he begins to feel his own importance. And then he will strive for development in order to be even better for his beloved.
One of the basic male needs is the need to be needed. According to male logic, if a woman is unhappy with him, then she does not need him. The task of a man (in his opinion) is to make sure that his presence and actions are significant for a woman in the most positive sense. Therefore, if for all his efforts he does not receive a response (again, positive) from his beloved, he will come to the conclusion that he is not able to make the woman he loves happy. If she is unhappy with him, then she is suffering. If she suffers, then it is better for him to leave and make room for someone who will make her happy. And he will, trust me.
No matter how delicately a woman behaves, a man will feel that they are trying to remake him. What if he does not want to be the way his chosen one wants to see him? Then he will feel guilty before her. Guilt is not good for a relationship, that's for sure. And even if a man starts raping his own nature and adapting to a woman, at some point there will be an explosion and the man will simply slam the door, because if he is being remade, then they do not like him.
The difference in life goals can manifest itself in everything: in the choice of housing, in the number of children, in religion, etc. Do not underestimate this factor. Be realistic and don't expect everything to work itself out. Speak these questions in advance so that there are no unpleasant surprises later, because breaking yourself by pleasing another person is not the best way out. Even any little thing that the couple at the initial stage decides to ignore can lead to the fact that one day the man will leave, realizing that he and his lover have no common ground.
If negativity is constantly present in communication between partners, the relationship begins to seem like a continuous burden. Of course, everyone has hard times, not a single one can do without disagreements and quarrels family life. But if negativity and constant arguments have become your daily reality, you need to do something.
Men's logic is simple: you need to avoid the bad and develop the good. Therefore, if his woman, on the contrary, constantly escalates the situation, it is unlikely that he will last for a long time.
Women are willing to do a lot for a relationship. But sometimes you have to admit that your efforts and your love are not enough. Most of us have the same reasons for leaving.
YOUR HUSBAND IS PREDICTABLE
Men get stuck in a routine very easily. Work, TV, belly and sofa.
Go somewhere together? No, I don't want to. Have fun in some unusual way? For what?
And we are not even talking about spontaneous folly. He is boring and predictable, like his sock on the back of the sofa. After some time, the woman realizes that her life has turned into Groundhog Day.
YOU FEEL LONELY
It is important for a woman to feel that she matters to a man. If he is constantly not around, the relationship loses its meaning. Men, as a rule, quickly withdraw into their worries after women have achieved. And even if a man is nearby, he is often emotionally absent in a couple.
Without care, attention and love, a woman has a feeling of loneliness, which grows and gradually fills her whole life. Why would she be with him then?
YOU ARE NOT LISTENING
There is nothing more offensive to a woman than talking in monologue mode. Men often pretend to listen, but once you ask them what was discussed, they get lost. To be another radio that works "just for the noise"? No, it's humiliating.
It is especially important for women that when they are being listened to, they are being heard.
YOU DON'T FEEL WANTED
Moreover, desirable in every sense, and not just for sex. When a woman is not admired and given no attention and compliments in ordinary life, she fades away. Men very quickly forget not only about signs of attention after a period of courtship. They forget even about intimacy and foreplay. But what about sex with the man you love? Where is he?
It is difficult to want a man who perceives you not as a goddess, but as a sex doll. At least, by all actions pushes to this thought.
YOU ARE NOT SUPPORTED
Life is full of change. Pleasant and not so pleasant. Sometimes you want to get if not direct support, then at least participation. Sometimes it's just a necessity. Men who all the time pretend that the problem does not exist or dismiss “you are there somehow by yourself” do not deserve to be loved.
HE REMOVED ITSELF
Raising children, household chores, communication with relatives, financial issues. At some point, a woman notices that only she should have a headache about everything. What about your husband? For some reason he doesn't care. Hey, we created this family together, why are you not in it? Why are you even here then?
If a man is able to at least listen to these questions, your relationship still has a chance.
