Miracle Center - Women's Portal

Miracle Center - Women's Portal

» How not to call a former psychologist advice. What to do if you want to call an ex-boyfriend? About time, be assertive

How not to call a former psychologist advice. What to do if you want to call an ex-boyfriend? About time, be assertive

Wanna call ex friend?

Your ex-boyfriend left you, but you still love him? Looking for an opportunity to get back together and continue the relationship? And yet you desperately want to call him? Take your time. Contacting your ex is one of the hardest things to do after a breakup. You must know exactly what time is right for this, and how to do it correctly.

The reason you want to call him is because you want to get back together. And in order for you to be together, you need to solve only one task: to make your ex-lover want to return to you. Of course, this is not easy to do. This takes time and patience, and the approach will be different for each specific case. But one of the first things you need to do is cut off all contact with him. No matter how unpleasant it may sound.

Disappearing out of sight is the fastest way to make your ex feel like he misses you. Therefore, do not send him emails, SMS, do not post anything on your page on Facebook or VKontakte, or anything else in the same vein. Any contact with him right after the breakup will always be a bad move for you, because you will still be within sight of him, but he will feel comfortable enough not to want to start dating you again.

If you want to bring it back, it is necessary that you disappear from its horizon. Your friend will not miss you if you are always somewhere nearby. Disappearing from sight, you will quickly become a mystery to him. At the same time, do not sit at home; go out, do your thing, and have fun. Meet relatives and friends, continue to live a normal life. However, forget about the places where you know your ex goes. You should not interact with his friends, you should not drive past his house, and you may not have any contact with him at all. After some time, without seeing and not receiving news from you, he will begin to be burdened by a break.

There is something that many women do not understand about men who leave them: in the eyes of a guy, a breakup is never final. Men love to fix things, including relationship breakups. We always like to be able to go back, leaving the door slightly ajar in a relationship. We also like to control this door. And if someone takes the handle and covers it? This creates noticeable discomfort.

As long as this door is under his control, your ex can do whatever he wants. Including dating other women. And if you are still walking around him, he knows that he can bring you back without much difficulty. You must destroy this illusion of his and pull him out of his comfort zone. You achieve this by cutting off contact with him.

When your former friend suddenly stops seeing you, does not receive news from you, he begins to make inquiries about you. This is a great way to make him feel like he has lost you. He starts to worry about how your life is going there. And he's terrified at the thought that maybe you've found someone else and you don't need him anymore. Although he was the person who initiated the breakup, this is not at all what he wanted. Eventually, he will begin to question his decision to end your relationship, and will want to make amends before you can go without him. Seeing an ex-girlfriend who now lives her own life? This is a guy's worst nightmare.

That's why you need to go out, have fun, laugh and enjoy in the company of friends. You don't see or call him, you don't send e-mails: nothing. You hurt his pride and make him want you again. And finally, you get a phone call, or a text message, or an email from him. Now you are in a much better position, and now you are holding the handle of that door. You can tug it open and surprise him, or close it even tighter, causing him to thrash about trying to get you back. And all of this without doing anything... just disappearing from view and having fun.

Only when enough time has passed can you call him again. But only once, and with a reason for it. Don't just call to say hello. If you must call your former friend, make sure you have an innocent reason for the call. Keep things casual and easy: don't ask hard questions or ask about who he's dating. Don't tell him that you missed him or thought about him unless he tells you so.

Instead, try to arrange some time and place to meet and chat again. Perhaps meet somewhere on no man's land and have lunch - let it be something fleeting and funny, without pressure. Your first post-breakup contact with your ex doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out date. It should end quickly, leaving you both wanting to meet again. This reunion meeting is a great start to getting your former friend back.

Loved ones most often call late, when nothing is needed anymore. Sometimes they appear in order to disappoint to the end and take away the most wonderful memories. Sometimes, in order to make a momentary impulse make a person shudder in surprise, who once delivered so many happy minutes. Why and why do ex-boyfriends and husbands call?

Imitation of feelings

It is believed that exes always call at the wrong time. But who knows what time is? When Time ends, it is no longer possible to call and say good words. It can come even in thirty years, the main thing is that the time and energies of two people coincide.

An absolutely happy person can sit at one end of the telephone wire, who has forgotten about the previous feeling - then the phone really comes to life at the wrong time and for the wrong subscriber. It will be possible to meet only in another life.

It is believed that exes always call at the wrong time. But who knows what time is?

Everything has a memory, even water. While we are alive, we feel when someone thinks about us, we are shaking in illusions and delusions, which we ourselves begin to invent with frantic force, forgetting insults.

If the call is really at the wrong time, it means that damage has occurred in the connection between two people. Then you should rejoice at the call and not attach importance to it. There is no need to restore such love, there is no need to try to repeat what is long in the past.

Men's tricks

Why does an ex-boyfriend call his ex-lover or ex-husband ex-wife? The psychology of men is such that he compares all his new women with you. He is looking for common and difference, evaluates with whom he was better.

Men can call because of their EGO to prove to themselves, first of all, that he is the best and unique, and you could not forget him. Men like this feel that a new love has appeared on your horizon and as if they want to prevent you from building a new relationship.

Men can call because of their EGO in order to prove to themselves, first of all, that he is the best and unique ...

Another manifestation of male egoism and selfishness is to think that because of parting with him, you can do something with yourself, because you loved him so much that you cannot imagine further existence without him. He calls to try and comfort and support you. It’s better to say everything that you think about him right away.

The following scenario is also possible: he realized his mistake and wanted to return. He tried to date other women and realized that you were the best for him and that you are the best match for him. Well, now it's up to you to decide if you're ready to start from scratch.

Back to the past

An important call will be as accurate as a shot. If he calls with a pure soul, then you will forget how you erased his number from the list of "favorites" three years ago. The main thing is that HE does not regret the night call that woke up an unnecessary person who will now begin to dream of a meeting, or SHE did not say to herself in the morning: “I woke up and don’t want to see him.”

Such a call is a virtual way. You can go in any direction, the indifferent are hardly worth looking for. You hear a voice in the handset, and memories are twisted in a tornado with sweet warmth. Uncontrollable surges of tenderness of cosmic vibrations are beating and spinning, and you are swimming, feeling your breath in the telephone receiver...

Do not resist the turbulent flow of his words! Each of you already has your own path, your reward and trials. You got away from resentment and let go of each other. The heart has already become calm, resentment has dissipated, true forgiveness has come. Everything that prevented you from moving remained in non-existence, but the phone rang, and dreams spoke to you in different voices: “It’s impossible!” reason said. "This is recklessness!" - sharing experience. "It's useless!" cut off pride. “Try…” whispered the dream.

The following scenario is also possible: he realized his mistake and wanted to return.

I know a lot of couples who saw each other in a quick breath an hour after such a call, and stayed together. The second attempt power is an invincible force, but some women are able to hang up, wipe away a tear and return to their husband on the couch to watch the movie.

Sweet memories push someone onto the plane, and some start a scandal and hysteria to their spouse who does not understand anything. A call from the past ... And yet, how wonderful it is when, through time and distance, someone who once was not indifferent to you will shout or whisper to you: “I love you!”.

The charm of memories

Why does the ex-boyfriend call and what to do? My answer as a psychologist is for most of the fairer sex: it’s better not to go back to the past, because nothing happens just like that. Try to always move only forward, without looking back.

And after such a call, try to tell yourself something like this: “Your call is unexpected, it is without time, and without inventing anything, I just plunge into the past ... Neither I nor you have long loved each other, so what is this feeling? I only remember good things. Surprisingly: I am absolutely calm, tears dripping hailstones on the chair do not count. I'm not crying. I feel that nothing is left of the former feeling of strain. Why does your call cause such joy? It's just the old happiness called.

Surely 99% of the inhabitants of the planet Earth had such a situation: a phone rang, a person understood the receiver and heard a painfully familiar voice ex-husband(wife), boyfriend (girl).

The Aboriginal tribes of Tanzania and the like are not included in these statistics. Their former ones remind of themselves in some other ways not known to science.

The notorious call from an ex-husband or a young man for whom you once burned with passion is always a very exciting event. And in most cases, quite unpleasant. All the valerian in the house has long been drunk, the heart has calmed down and the feelings have cooled. So why do exes start calling, raising all the dregs from the bottom of their souls? And most importantly, what to do with it?

The main question: why is the ex calling?

When asked why the ex is calling, there is one unequivocal answer: to remind you of yourself. It is unlikely that he was suddenly interested in the question of how you are doing. The call from the ex-husband, who decided to ask if he could take the child to him for the summer holidays, is quite understandable. If something binds you (child, alimony, property litigation, general loans, etc.), then this is quite a common occurrence.

Another question is why the ex is calling, with whom you no longer have anything in common. He himself left, loudly slamming the door or even spitting into your soul. Why is he now reminding himself? Remember: a person who now has a well-established and happy personal life will never call his ex.

Most likely, your ex is deeply unhappy, lonely and secretly thinking about getting you back. Or at least - wants to take a break from existing problems with a person with whom he felt good. It's hard for people to admit it after a breakup. That's why they call, as if by the way, casually reminding you of themselves and checking your reaction to their call. If you heard excitement in your voice or some signals “you can!”, do not hesitate, this call is not the last.

A call from an ex-girlfriend - as old as the world, history

The fact that women are much more emotional than men has long been known. They “get bogged down” in relationships more deeply, literally “grow roots” into their partner. This is especially true for some young ladies of an overly romantic warehouse. Of course, after such a deep emotional connection, very much from your heart and your life.

Even if a man has gone to another woman, married her, lives happily and has spawned a horde of wonderful children with a new passion, it can be very difficult for an ex-girlfriend to come to terms with his choice.

Of course, if she loved him, and not just met for a fun pastime. At the same time, some ladies draw pictures of fiery revenge in their minds: “Here I am, all stunning, in a white Porsche. Next to me is a gorgeous man. Then my ex will see me and understand what a treasure he has lost.” Such an attitude helps a woman cope with her grief and even achieve certain heights in life - personal or professional.

Other ladies prefer to grieve over broken relationships for a long time, tormenting themselves painfully. Outwardly, they do not show their suffering, but in their souls they carry a cup of grief filled to the brim. One small failure, a couple of glasses of cognac - and now the girl is dialing the well-known number of her ex. In such a situation, for a man, a call from ex girlfriend- serious problem.

Do not give a reason and do not follow the calls from the former!

If communication with a person is unpleasant for you, if after all the mental anguish you finally let go of your ex-partner, then never give him a reason to doubt your feelings. Do not ask yourself for the hundred thousandth time why the ex is calling and what he needs from me, but clearly put all the dots over the “i” in a conversation with him.

Any of your doubts, some kind of indecision in your voice or ambiguity of expressions will be regarded by the subscriber as an invitation to action. And this, in turn, like a wave, will throw you back into a painful past.

At the same time, do not speak rudely to a person. After all, why do exes start calling us? Because they are bad. Try not to cause deep depression of the person with whom you once had so much connection. Define the situation directly and clearly and set a framework: “I have a new partner now, and I love him. You shouldn't call again. It won't lead to anything."

Now you know why your ex is calling and how to deal with it. But if both you and your ex are still alone, and you feel that not everything has been said between you, take a moment. Perhaps his call is the first step towards reconciliation and the continuation of your romance, which has every chance of becoming a lifelong one. But be sure to weigh all the pros and cons in the question,.

Video Marketing -
powerful promotion tool

After a certain time after parting, the girl may have an acute desire to call ex boyfriend, ask how he is doing, if he remembers her, if he has found another. Most often this happens if, after a breakup, it was not possible to start a new relationship, or if you can’t get the person out of your head. The women's portal Women's Time offers to figure out and find out what to do if you want to call your ex-boyfriend.

Reasons why you want to call your ex-boyfriend

First of all, it is necessary to find out what led to this desire. There may be several reasons. One of those is ordinary curiosity. You are wondering how the former young man is doing, whether he got married during this time. Especially if the gap was calm, without emotions, claims and resentment. Perhaps you want to make contact and restore friendships because you were interested in spending time with this person. In this case, it’s worth calling the ex-boyfriend, or you can write him a message, showing interest in how he is doing. And then you can invite him for a walk or in a cafe for a cup of coffee. However, keep in mind that during this time a man could have another woman who would be negatively disposed to such friendly communication.

Another reason is the desire to bring the former young man back. You remember how good it was with him, you miss the time you spent together. No matter how long it's been since the breakup, you still can't get the person out of your head. It is likely that you hope that you can still improve the situation by returning the man and resuming a love relationship with him. Here the situation is more complicated. Your call may not live up to expectations and even worsen an already difficult situation.

Call your ex boyfriend or not?

It is important to understand what you expect from this call. If you just want to ask what is happening in the life of a former young man, this can be done without a call. For example, by asking mutual friends or going to his page on social networks. If you want to find out something for yourself, if you miss him and want to get your ex back, then you can call. But, first, you should prepare yourself for different scenarios of events. A man may answer the call and agree to a meeting, or may not answer, since you are on his black list. Consider this ahead of time. Before calling an ex-boyfriend, be sure to ask yourself why you need it. You can use technology

Psychologists recommend giving the desire a little “lie down”. Try to contain the rush of emotions and do not let yourself call your ex young man right now. If this is a sincere desire, then you will want to gain it in a week, and in a month, and even in a year. And if this is a rush of emotions, memories have come over you, then tomorrow you are unlikely to want to call your ex. These were moments of weakness, nothing more. To restrain the impulse, you can write a letter to a young man, but not send it, but, for example, burn it. Write to him how you feel, tell him how hard it was for you to break up, how you thought you could find a guy ten times better than him, how you miss him and want to return everything back, forgive him for his mistakes and apologize to him yourself . It really works. No need to think about how it looks from the outside. The main thing is that you feel better.

Tell me, did you want to call your ex-boyfriend? How long has it been since the breakup? Did you manage to restrain yourself then, or did you muster up the courage to call him? What came of it? Share your story with the readers and the editors of the Women's Time women's portal in the comments. You can also suggest ideas for future publications that might interest you and answer your questions.

Ruslan Narushevich and common sense say: after parting with a man (boyfriend, husband), a woman needs to stop seeing him for the first 2 months. Stop communicating for this time. Ideally, do it right after the end of the relationship.

That is, do not meet, do not call up, do not correspond and do not write yourself. At all. Even if you have children and come to visit them. Even if you work at the same job.

You are dying to give him a text. Trust me, reading these tips on how to get over a guy will save you from regrets later. We've all been there and we all wish we hadn't. Right now, your phone may be your worst enemy. So, in order not to put him in the trash, you need to find a way to control him so that he does not control you. The last thing you want to do is send him a text that will ruin everything.

Let's face it - he probably broke up with you via text. Instead, we get a phone vibration and two words: "We're done." Don't follow in his footsteps! Be the bigger person and don't let the ease of texting let you say things you shouldn't have. Take a deep breath and follow these tips on how to get over a guy and how to stop him from texting.

Do you want to break off relations without consequences for your psyche? It is necessary to remove a man from life for the first 2 months. This is a prerequisite. Without him, the painful separation will drag on for years. And without it, the chances that you will meet another, more unlike the former, will rapidly decrease.

But even if you were able to do it so as not to intersect with a man and not call him up, then no one canceled social networks. Nobody has canceled mail, SMS, other means of correspondence, by which a woman can write another portion of mental snot to her ex.

Set a rule for how often you can check your phone. Cancellation is still not possible. Now, every time you check your phone and don't see those messages, you will be rejected. Do yourself a favor, girlfriend - don't stare obsessively at your phone. Make a rule to check it once an hour, at the top of the hour, and that's it. The best advice on how to get over a guy is not to obsess! Move forward by distracting yourself with something fun that will propel you forward, how!

Text someone else. Maybe he's not the scum of the earth and you're holding on to the hope that he'll realize it was a big mistake and rush to text and tell you how sorry he is. Whatever you do, don't mess with him in the first place. You don't want to appear desperate or fall apart at the seams. He will come to you when he is ready. If you have to write it, write someone else instead.

At such moments, a wise friend usually does not stand over a woman, who will keep the unfortunate hand from pressing the Enter key. And another message “Come back, I will forgive everything!”, “I love you!”, Or “You are a goat!” flies in a known direction. Then you will feel ashamed, you will eat cakes and sweets, get fat and fall back into a deep depression. From which you will scribble the former message after message.

Oh, and if he texts you, don't reply immediately. The worst thing you could do is go back to it right away before deciding if it's really for you. You end up sad and fall off again in no time. #bad idea. Change his name on your phone. Perhaps you are the one who did the dumping. Even if you took a bold step because you knew it was right, it doesn't mean you won't miss it. You know you shouldn't mess with him, but you really want to - just to make sure he's okay, right?

How to avoid it? I won't go round in circles. I will offer a technique that helped me for the first 2 or 3 weeks after breaking up to stop spamming a man. Then it will get easier, I assure you.

How to stop texting a man right after a breakup

  1. Ideally, you need to find a psychologist who will listen to all your claims to the former, all the pain, and even all declarations of love. Every day for 2-3 hours for the first 2 weeks after parting. A friend or mother (if you don’t feel sorry for them) can also become a psychologist. But not everyone will take advantage of this advice, so I’ll go straight to point 2.
  2. Keep a diary. And pour out all your anger, pain and humiliation on him. Then you can burn it. Or leave it to posterity.
  3. And the most interesting point, which, in fact, helped me stop not only writing to my ex (even in a diary), but also not sending what I wrote to him by mail / on FB / on Skype. More about point 3.

Why do we text a man after a breakup? Do we want him to know what a bad person he is? Believe me, he knows. But that doesn't make it any easier for us.

Don't let your emotions get the most out of you. Even better, give your number to a friend to protect before enough time has passed that you don't tell him in a weak moment. You receive a wedding invitation and can't check the plus-one box. It's too easy to say that it's actually really hard. It's too easy to say what you don't actually say. It's too easy for him to misinterpret your words, their tone and intended inflection. If it will be so, it will be so.

You've done everything you can to catch up with him so far and getting juicy won't fix anything, he'll just take you back to where you started - sad and rejected. And whatever you do, don't convince yourself that your juicy texts. Letting go of someone you once loved is never easy, but it's something that needs to be done. Don't let the ease of texting rob you of your plans to make a graceful exit from a breakup. Follow these tips on how to get over a bad breakup and you'll walk away with a high head.

The main reason for such messages is the hope that something written will help bring him back! Everything is used: pressure on pity, inducing feelings of shame, responsibility, former love, and other shamanistic rites. As a result, it only gets worse, but the hands are itching to send another opus to the poor fellow. And no pride in this case does not work. A woman in a state of abandonment has no sense of self-preservation and measure. Anyone who has been in a similar situation knows this.

Questions pop up in your head that give you a thousand twists and turns, looking for the reasons for the sudden silence of your phone and that boy. New technologies have emerged to add new challenges. You check conversations over and over again looking for a mistake, you wonder where you screwed up or what you said that made you react to that silence.

You won't miss your friend who advises you before you keep spinning. While we advise you that if you are determined to remain firm in your decision to wait for him to contact you, you will also not be checking your phone every 30 seconds.

Here's what I did when I realized I needed to stop tearing up my ex's email. I’ll just make a note right away - I wanted it to be EASIER for me. Yes, I also had the hope that you can return it. But the desire in the near future to stop experiencing pain and become happy was stronger.

Therefore, I applied the diary technique, but with one amendment: I began to write letters and notes not to my ex-boyfriend, and not to a virtual psychologist, but to my FUTURE HUSBAND. And sent them to the mail I created. To fix the result.

He texts you only when he needs something

To help you retain the right to remind the world of the rule we all know but sometimes we seem to forget. It doesn't have a turning point and you can break this rule once, even twice, but never do it a third time, right? By now, you will know the complex role he plays in a relationship. Quiet, because it happens in all families.

Psychologist Ana Sierra says it's very impersonal and doesn't breed exclusivity, many have done it before yours, probably without good results.

I wrote not just to a virtual guy, but to my HUSBAND. A man who accepted me with all the troubles and still fell in love. So much so that he got married. Let even in the future.

Letters to the future husband as a way to part with the past

Do not perceive the technique as the fruit of a sick imagination. This future husband, not yet known to you, is more real than the ex-boyfriend becoming a husband (which you dreamed about so passionately). Therefore, trying to write letters to the former in order to return him is no less nonsense than writing letters to the future to a person whom you have not even met yet.

For some reason, you wait more than a day after meeting the person you are about to write. Previously, in other cases, men waited 3 days to be suitable, but today this is outdated, you should not miss more than 24 hours, or the interest that could have gone will disappear.

A few hours after the first date or the next day is best, because when they met face to face, some chemistry was created and if you wait longer, it will disappear. Guillermo Lopez, dating comet expert, that the shivers are not waiting, so you should hurry not to waste 24 hours. Regardless of the time, if you're online, even if it's 6 o'clock, you just send it. Use a short phrase like How are you? Do not sleep?

Do you know what was the therapeutic effect of such letters? I started to cut ties to my ex. And my soul hurt less. Yes, tears and tantrums remained in the pillow, but the desire to write letters to the culprit about this disappeared.

Here I am writing my first letter to my future husband: “Hi, my beloved future husband! And immediately, somehow, my heart became calmer. He is! A man who loves me so much that he became my husband. Am I writing to him? So he exists!

Do not overdo it, write very often, even if they are very short messages, this creates the feeling that you are a stalker and this repels people. If you're a very shy or reserved person, explore phrases that can be personal, but not so personal that you consider yourself a procrastinator. Don't ask directly, but with your answers you can get tested if available. On the other hand, if he gives you a thread to chat more, you are moving forward. Don't use very trendy phrases, even if you think they might be funny, because they have little chance of success.

"I'm in a lot of pain right now!" And I myself think: “My husband would have laughed if he knew how I suffer for another man, not understanding what happiness awaits me ahead ...”.

“Do you love me? And will you never quit?" And I understand: of course, loves. Otherwise, why would you marry? Of course he won't quit! Otherwise, why would I marry him?

More intimate details in such letters automatically missed. I didn’t write about the former, nor about my dreams and plans for it. I imagined how my real future husband would read this - and was horrified! To hurt a loved one by forcing him to read about his love for another is cruel. Therefore, I wrote about abstract pain, about how I miss him, and how much I wait for him.

Remember that many others have already tried this. Don't start praising her too much, because an excess of confidence can make her assume that you're only interested in her looks. You have to make her feel interesting and unique, the most important thing is not her image.

Be very careful with your way of writing messages, they don't have to be very personal, but if it's important that you don't have spelling mistakes, you're frustrated, you're trying to beat him. Avoid using signs of admiration, start very pretentious, don't use abbreviations or abuses of "Hahaha".

And you know? Already 2-3 days after the breakup and the start of this practice, the desire to write to the former disappeared completely. Because I felt ashamed of the future. He is waiting for me, trusts me, is faithful to me (he is perfect for me, how else?) ... And at this time I am writing letters and SMS to another man! It doesn't matter what. About what I still love, or about what I hate. It's still not fair!

The first message should be clear and concise. The idea behind success is that your messages are like playing ping pong, bouncing and returning the ball one by one. You can't send multiple messages if she hasn't replied. We've all gone through that moment, the one where you were fascinated by the boy and you feel like there's enough feeling to establish communication, but you don't know how to do it, what to say, and how long you have to wait.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is not to stop being yourself, because in the event that a thing settles, it is important that you know yourself for who you are. So when it comes to sending the first message to that special boy, don't try to show the other person because you think that's the one you'll like. Leave those insecure thoughts behind, the important thing is that you love yourself and that you are comfortable with anyone. Whatever you want to say, do it from your heart and your soul, not feeling like no one is letting you be the person you are not, because no one really is.

And this technique just saved me! A month later, I abandoned it, because it was no longer needed. I was still in pain, I continued to sob at least 2 times a week. But, in the case of letters to the former, I could already calmly control the situation.

And then the tears began to appear less and less. This is how the separation method works. And I was already able to quite consciously decide for myself whether it is worth seeing the former, or is life not so bad without him?

What's the worst that can happen? Doesn't match? If you felt something in this previous conversation, your instinct will certainly not fail you. But if so, what does it matter? If this is not the right person for you, you don't send the first message or not. Get away from your fears for a moment and consider whether they should lead them. Life means taking risks unless they harm you physically or mentally.

Stay away from sexual prejudice

Secret: Many men love independent and self-confident women. If this guy is not what you are looking for, then maybe he is not what you are looking for.

About time, be assertive

Why follow the rules about the time you have to wait before sending a message? Usually it's about two days, but you can use common sense and be persistent. Think about what you want and be honest with yourself. Think about it, wouldn't that be a bit overwhelming or exaggerated?

Here I do not give a technique for forgiveness, or complete deliverance from destructive love (passions, habits, illnesses), but only advise a method for treating one of the symptoms. In combination with the right actions during parting, this gives a guaranteed result. Not a return to the past, but the opportunity to have a happy future. With a man who can appreciate you.

P.S.: for those who decide that this topic can be described more sincerely.

If I still suffered from unrequited love, I would have written just like that. But I am gradually recovering, therefore I look very critically from the outside at my own past suffering. And I want to say to myself PAST from this FUTURE: “Hey! There is life here! Even without the man you're suffering for! Much more interesting than you might imagine. So up your nose! And direct your writing needs in a more worthy direction.

How to stop being obsessive to a guy?

    Keep yourself in hand, try! I can advise you to set rules for yourself: do not call, do not write yourself from ... to ... Find yourself a hobby, an activity that will captivate you and reveal new traits in you. Switch, and just look, he will begin to desire your attention, but will you need it?

    understand that you are worthy of the attention of people who do not need to be imposed. It's from low self-esteem. As you love yourself, so others love you. honestly answer yourself the question, would your girlfriend want you to treat her the same way as you treat yourself?

    Occupy yourself with something other than thinking about HIM
    he is not the center of the universe, after all

    call only on business, occasion and not meet with him when it is convenient for him. meet when it is convenient for you personally, if you were going to go to the beach, go. don't give up on your favorite activities. such behavior of a man is equated with love.

    As an option, get to know two more and be distracted by them.

    Whatever you do in relation to a person, obsession manifests itself only when you voluntarily or involuntarily make it clear to him that you expect a certain reaction or behavior from him, i.e. returns. Imagine the situation. A person calls you every day, calls you for a walk, visits, invites you to coffee, to the theater, and so on. you want to be alone and not up to it, but every day it's hard to refuse. He is intrusive only because you somehow feel the need to respond to his suggestions at least sometimes. And now everything is the same, but he tells you right away that regardless of your reaction, he will call you every day and offer a program of events, you can safely refuse every day, he will still do it. he does not need your consent, and your positive reaction. and no matter what you decide and no matter how you behave, this will not change his behavior. Under such conditions, you give up and it will turn into an everyday ritual - a call-refusal. and if at the same time he is neither upset nor upset, but takes your reaction for granted and accepts it, it will be easy for you. Make a conclusion: you don’t need to demand or expect anything from a guy. You need to do in relation to him only what you yourself want, regardless of his reaction, and enjoy it. Responding to his refusals positively, calmly and, in the end, passionate about being not only him.

    I'm certainly not a girl, but faced a similar problem. I really liked one girl, showed her various signs of attention, well, there was not even a smell of reciprocity. Based on my experience, I can say the following, if you feel sympathy for a guy, but he doesn’t care, then in principle you won’t be able to impose yourself, a week at most, and then either he will call on business, or you just see him in the crowd and that’s it repeat again. From my experience it follows that this problem needs to be addressed radically. You must either leave it as it is and wait for a miracle, or completely stop relations with this person. I chose the second, it's certainly not easy, but it's still better than flattering myself with unfulfilled dreams and hopes. In addition, there are many good guys in the world and you will certainly meet that person who will surround you with warmth and care and whom you will love without memory. All the best.

    start exploring his needs

You see the question that one of the users of the site asked the Universe, and the answers to it.

Either people who are very similar to you, or your complete opposites, answer.
Our project was conceived as a way of psychological development and growth, where you can ask for advice from "similar" and learn from "very different" what you do not know or have not tried yet.

Do you want to ask the Universe about something important to you?