Most likely, everyone has memories that people would like to forget. A disturbing incident, an embarrassing situation, humiliation, insults from a loved one - it can be anything. And no matter how hard you try to forget it, the memory resists.
No need to suppress all unpleasant thoughts. There are times when you need to reflect on what went wrong so that you can learn from your mistakes and move on. But when the only result of your thoughts is to prolong the pain, you need to get rid of them and move on.
According to recent research, people can program themselves to forget everything on purpose. Here's how to forget what you don't want to remember.
A conscious decision not to think about bad memories can help erase them forever. When you are reminded of something you don't want to think about, don't let your mind think about it.
To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, emotions associated with them. Details may include smells, sounds, or images associated with the event that you don't want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, put the details of it out of your mind. It could be a song playing in the background, or the faces that were looking at you at the time.
Suppressing bad memories is difficult. Any thought that is suppressed tends to ricochet. For example, if you want to block out the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain looks for any thought about it to block it out. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you do not block it, the thought rushes back, again haunts you. Thus, you need to block memories daily. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.
Blocked thoughts tend to come alive faster and stronger when you attach too much importance to them, pay attention to it. Recognize the fact that it is very difficult to suppress thoughts, but you must continue to work on it, while trying not to overdo it.
Certain images, objects, smells, or places can trigger bad memories for you. Throw objects or images that prevent you from forgetting what you don't want to remember from your mind. Avoid places or people that remind you of your painful past.
Another strategy you can try is to replace a bad memory with a good one. If the thought of past failure continues to haunt you, try thinking about how you succeeded at something in the past. Don't let bad memories affect your mood. As soon as they flood over you, start thinking about something good.
Learn to associate negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you overcome bad feelings. For example, think about your bad moment while enjoying a good movie, or doing something that makes you happy. A positive association will make your negative memory less painful.
Another theory suggests that becoming fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you deal with the painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or hurt. Scream, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to lessen their influence on you.
This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual for releasing negative emotions or memories that have settled in your mind. Write down every detail of the memories that you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn a sheet of paper. When you see the paper on fire, you mentally release the memory. In addition, you can also tear or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.
Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or foreseen in the future. Don't live your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you be mindful and appreciate every moment of life.
Always be around people who make you happy. If possible, travel and meet new people. Communicate as much as possible. This will help you form new good memories that will naturally make your bad memories disappear.
Think of a new hobby or physical activity. Devote yourself to creativity and take part in arts and crafts activities. Spend your energy creating something new, or try your hand at volunteering. You will be constantly busy with business, and you will have less time to spend it thinking about bad memories.
Talking to a friend or family member you trust can help. Their advice, opinions, and similar stories can give you a different perspective on things and help you forget what you don't want to remember.
By following all these tips, you can erase bad memories from your memory and gain complete control over your life.
But everyone who has ever encountered this at least once in their life knows from their own experience that these tips do not work. What you can achieve if you follow them is to push the painful experience deep, and cover it with visible well-being from above. It is like a deep wound that was healed superficially, but the inner pain was forgotten to be removed. It is invisible, but it hurts and corrodes the soul from the inside.
Any psychologist will tell you that there is only one way to recovery - to go through parting with a husband or a man whom you still love - this is to fully and deeply do the necessary work of grief. And then you will grow up, renew yourself, live a full life, get out of a difficult situation with valuable experience, gain strength and wisdom. The wound will not disappear without a trace - a scar will form in its place, but it will remind you of your strength, stamina, and not of pain and suffering. After all, scars are stronger than skin.
The best thing to do if parting with a loved one causes you a lot of pain is to contact a psychologist and get professional help. Do not believe if you are offered a quick healing in 1-5 meetings. As much as you want to get rid of the pain as soon as possible, you need to do the work of grief, and every wounded soul needs its time.
Tip: choose a psychologist who works with grief seriously and deeply, who listens to you carefully and with understanding, whom you completely trust, who will be ready to experience with you as much as you need.
If you do not have the opportunity to contact a psychologist, or for some reason you do not want to, then you can take the following steps.
Three easy steps to forget the person you love, but he does not have you:
Step 1 - accept the situation as it is. This is the first and most difficult step. A girl who is going through a breakup with a loved one usually lives in the past. She remembers happy moments with her boyfriend or man. If she loved, she had expectations about a joint future, she dreamed of marrying him, having a family and children, living happily for many years.
She refuses to believe what happened and tries to live the old way, as if the man or boyfriend was with her. Accepting that everything is destroyed is very hard and painful. However, sooner or later it will have to be done.
Tip: look at the situation from the reality of today: yes, it happened; yes, the past life is destroyed; yes, there will be no miracle. Usually acceptance is accompanied by a feeling of disorientation, chaos.
Step 2 - let your feelings go. Usually it is resentment, anger, rage. Don't push them inward. They must go outside. In women, these feelings usually pour out with torrents of tears.
Tip: Cry! Pour out the rivers, the oceans of your pain. If you feel anger, take it out! Beat the dishes, growl, shout! Rip the sheet! Trample the pillow! Feelings for a guy or a man who needs to be forgotten should come out of you.
Step 3 - tell your story. It doesn't matter if it's a friend or a casual meeting in a cafe. Intuitively feel who you can trust with your story. Grief is a universal experience for all people, and most likely you will be heard. Once is usually not enough.
Advice: tell as many times as necessary so that the wound heals and you can forget ex-husband Or the guy you once loved so much.
Usually, after completing these stages, a person experiences sadness and bright emptiness. This means that you have already accepted the situation and let go of the past. Now you are on the threshold of a new life.
And lastly, how not to remember the man you love, whom you still love. In the past, you had many happy, wonderful moments associated with this person. Yes, the relationship is over. But you knew joy, love, happiness, delight, a lot of light and beauty. After all, it happened in your life thanks to this person.
Now you can keep these wonderful bright memories for yourself as resources for the future. Thank life for this gift and try to forget the person you loved so much. Go further. On your way you will meet many more amazing things!
Alas and ah, but parting with loved ones is difficult, especially forever. Pain and resentment will forever remain in your heart, but they can be overshadowed by love, now unrequited.
How to get rid of painful feelings? Trying to read the plot is the only magical way to forget a person and your love for him.
Such conspiracies and rituals are read only on the waning moon, from which feelings will lose strength and leave you forever.
It is best to choose the third quarter of the waning moon - this is the most favorable time, contributing to the rapid achievement of results.
To perform the ritual, you need to pick the leaves of lemon balm, divide them into two parts, leave one of them at home, and take the other with you to a source of clean water, for example, a spring.
It is best if this source has healing or magical properties, but if there is none in your area, do not worry, use what is available, the main thing is that the water is so clean that you can drink it.
There should be no one near the source except you. Sit by the water and think of yourself, your broken heart, the pains and sorrows that overwhelm you and need to be poured out. Mentally imagine the melissa petals as your tears, as well as their root cause. Slowly throw one leaf at a time into the water and watch how the water carries away your feelings from parting.
Do not leave the water until you feel complete peace and get rid of the images that cause you torment. When this moment comes, scoop water with your palm, wash the area of \u200b\u200bthe heart and chest with it, then fill the bottle with water and go home.
At home, pour water into a glass, into which send the remaining lemon balm leaves and leave it near your bed for three days. In the morning and in the evening, you need to rub your heart with this water, thinking about the spring and the sensations that you felt when the water took away your pain and sadness, and then drink one sip of water at a time.
When three days have passed, take the remaining mint water back to the stream and pour it into it, thus getting rid of the remnants of feelings.
If your pain does not go away completely, then the ritual can be repeated after a week.
The following rite will help to forget the beloved man. On the waning moon, pour two handfuls of poppy seeds into a deep plate, which must be poured with one glass of hot water, saying:
“Hot water is my feelings for you, servant of God (name of the beloved). They are just as hot, but like water, they will cool down over time.”
The plate must be placed on the window and wait until the water cools down and reaches room temperature, after which the entire contents of the container should be poured under a dry tree, saying 5 times:
“My feelings burned, burned and did not know peace. I wandered through the forests and mountains, yearning for the sweet. An angel came down to me and delivered me from a heavy burden. He broke my feelings into poppy seeds and extinguished the fire in my soul with water. The smoke rose and with the wind flew away from me far, far away. Now I go and I don’t know troubles, I don’t cry, I don’t yearn, I don’t love.
Clasp your hands on your chest and look at the photo that you need to quickly forget. The photograph must be placed upside down, and in front of it put a piece of black bread. The ritual is repeated for 7 days in a row. Bread, after each ritual, give to the birds.
CONSPIRACY:
“Servant of God (name), stand as you stand.
Bread, lie down as you lie.
I will remember you not with love, but with cold blood.
How I, the servant of God, forgot
as in childhood I walked my first steps,
as my first tooth grew, so from now until the century
forget about this man
servant of God (name). Amen".
“Accept, Lord, my prayer, In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen! The first time, at the Lord's hour, I walked in the morning. Came in the evening to Mount Zion, To the holy river. By the river of that Mother of God stands, she gazes at me, the servant of God (name), intently. He splashes his hand along the river, Washes me, the servant of God (name), from longing, kruchinushki. Chur, holy water, Take off, rinse from me, from the servant of God (name), melancholy-crucible, she won’t be here, she won’t live here. Do not break the body of the white, do not suffer the zealous poor, Do not dry the scarlet blood, do not chill the little head. Go, sadness-longing, to where the big board lies - You sleep under it, lie under it. Until the end of the age, get away from a baptized person, from the servant of God (name), forever and ever. Amen".
In order to forget the one who left you, time alone is not always enough. Deep resentment, a strong blow, unrequited love - all this can "live" in a person for a long time. A conspiracy to forget thanks to which anyone can be helped to alleviate suffering, for example, a son may not remember his mother.
The power of a conspiracy is in words that have a miraculous effect on life. Thanks to words, you can forever get rid of someone who, it would seem, forever settled in your heart: a husband, boyfriend, wife, just a loved one. Not everyone can endure a difficult breakup, because the grievances left by a former lover do not go away with a breath of wind.
Conspiracies can be presented in various forms. All that is required of you is a strong desire and desire for the release of the heart after parting. If you are really ready to join new life and start from scratch, then get ready for the fact that it remains to wait just a little bit more. A conspiracy to forget the one you sincerely love must be uttered from a person with pure intentions and thoughts. Try to let go of resentment for a while, and then they will let you go forever.
To forget about a person, try washing yourself with the words:
“So the time has come for me to wash my face with holy water. Take, take, water, all my sorrows, but take them away to distant distances. Let them hide in the depths of the sea, but do not wake up. Amen".
The conspiracy is quite effective at Easter.
Find any natural spring and get a bucket of water. Going home, you need to adhere to silence, lower your eyes from outsiders. In a house or apartment, stand above the water, and start speaking it:
“I took water from the well, oh, what a clean water. Leave all sorrows, I do not want my eyes to recognize my tears again. Let him (name) no longer be sweet to me, but disgusted with my soul.
After that, at sunset, pour the liquid under any tree or plant.
It is impossible to forget about the betrayal of a loved one without making an effort. If love does not allow you to completely free your heart, then the next spell is for you. However, remember the following: before starting the ceremony, you must prepare the body, and for three days adhere to a strict fast, drink only water, and get rid of bad habits. Only after that you can read the plot:
“Lord, I suffered so much that I rushed to you again for help. Help me find the true path and reward me with prudence. I will obey your will, I swear to forgive my beloved. I will clear my conscience, I will do everything as you say. Nobody is my enemy. Let it be so! Amen".
A similar method will help you forget about a person in the fastest time.
“Almighty powers, help me forget all past offensive insults, the worst evil and angry anger. It may be very difficult for me, but I believe that everything is possible.
To forget the one who died: the best remedy. It is not always only partings that are hard to endure by a person, very often people cannot come to terms with the death of loved ones. We offer you a way that will ease the pain of a loved one and help you move on. It is enough to say these words three nights in a row:
“Star is clear, star is sweet, take my sorrows to the distant distances. Relieve me of intense anxiety and worry. Let (name) leave me, but life goes on, and from now on I have peace of mind. Bless and save. Amen!".
If you suddenly feel like madly wanting to call or write a message to your ex, then you should not fall into despair. Instead, allow yourself this prank, but ... only after 30 minutes! Yes, yes, in 30 minutes, you can call or write. In 99% of cases, in half an hour, the mind manages to take over the emotions, and you will understand that this should not be done. The remaining 1% - at least think about what to write, so as not to lose the remnants of pride.
If you love another person, while having a family, this effective water plot will help you forget your loved one to get rid of feelings for a lover or mistress.
You need to wash yourself with charmed water every morning for seven days, while reading the words of the spell:
“I came early in the morning at dawn in silence and solitude. I want to wash myself with clean, mirror water. I want to wash away my sadness, sadness and longing from myself. So that I don’t remember you anymore, don’t see and regret our parting. Let our love sink to the bottom of the sea. Amen".
Such an effective conspiracy helps not only you forget about the person with whom you had a relationship on the side. After such a sacrament, your lover or mistress will shun you and leave you alone.
Content
1. Analyze it...
2. Self-flagellation is natural, but wrong.
3. Polarities of consciousness, or What is going on in our head?
4. The science of forgetting: how does our memory work?
5. Universal balm for the wounds of past years
6. Achieving a goal is not enough - you need to be able to fix it
Analyze it...
Torment, regardless of its source, is a purely individual matter. Let it be stereotyped, but only the “drowning one” himself can help a person drowning in the days he has lived through. Of course, things will go much faster with the support of a specialist who will quickly establish the cause of the blues and direct the patient's thoughts in the right direction. But if a psychoanalyst is not for you, you will have to forget past memories by working through their milestones on your own.
Self-analysis becomes the main tool in the fight against experienced stress - after all, in order to cope with the problem, you first need to clearly outline it. Yes, if a person is gnawing at some moment or even a whole period of the past, the scope of searches will narrow. But the spiritual panacea does not lie on the surface, and discovering it by accident is a truly incredible task. Thinking about the situation endlessly is not an option; it is necessary to analyze, having a specific vector of information processing.
Self-flagellation is natural, but wrong
The classic "wound" that does not heal over time is destroyed love. 95% of people who are looking for a way not to remember the past are trying to drown out the raging feelings for the once beloved. Of course, there are also reasons of a different nature: bonded work, stress, illness or even the death of a friend. But they are all fundamentally one, and this root is memory.
To get rid of memories, just stop feeding them. Yes, a sad person wants to listen to sad music, savor stories about unhappy love and discuss them with friends. Yes, self-flagellation during the peak period is a pleasure for most people. But this is a direct path to self-destruction, such is the human perception.
Polarities of consciousness, or What is going on in our head?
Our thinking is arranged in such a way as to keep the worldview as stable as possible. Subconsciously, everyone is looking around for elements that resonate as much as possible with the current emotional state. If you get depressed, you will “stumble” on something that will strengthen it - dreary music, sad movies, poems about broken hearts, etc. And how can you forget the past, if with each "session" of such subconscious stabilization you plunge into a pool of memories?
The subconscious mind does not care whether it does bad things to its owner or good - it is basically devoid of these concepts, and simply works according to the existing algorithm. You can put up with this or fight fruitlessly, but it’s better to use it to your advantage. It is not difficult to achieve the goal - it is enough to realize that emotions are inside, and external factors do not affect a person. Without his consent...
So, if you look for ways to eliminate "I feel bad", the consciousness will "catch" on the negative of the wording. To get rid of the past, you need to aim for the future. The subconscious has no concept of denial, so you need to beat a wedge with a wedge. Surround yourself as much as possible with what is opposite to the oppressive state - attitudes for the future - and in the first days you will see the result. But in working on how to forget past relationships, this stage is only the starting one; the real work is ahead.
The science of forgetting: how does our memory work?
Human memory, even with the current development of science, is considered a phenomenon, that is, an inexplicable phenomenon. But inexplicability is not such a significant hindrance. The first "electrologists" like Faraday, Gauss and Ampere, not knowing what electricity is, actually created the basis of modern life, without breaking through to the origins of the forces that conquered.
Also, other scientists, investigating the phenomena of memory, agreed that it is arranged like ... a PC hard drive. Some phenomena that create a specific neural combination once may not leave traces at all, and disappear instantly - this is a "cache", instant memory. Some memories that require infrequent but quick access - like songs and poems by heart - are "flash drives". Well, if information is needed all the time, it will be written "on the hard drive" - in long-term memory.
But how does this help get rid of memories of past relationships? Very simple! Memory is technically infinite, but the paths to information are limited. They can be compared to a multi-channel wire - each is connected to a specific area, and passes a strictly limited flow of information. Other data is sent to the "archive" to save resources. The brighter the emotional experiences, and the more often the phenomenon was repeated, the more securely the “wire” is fixed.
Universal balm for the wounds of past years
The limitation of the human body for those experiencing grief is not a disadvantage, but a blessing. To let go of something, it is enough just to switch the "wire" to another area. The memories of the negative will not go anywhere - technically, but they will still disappear from life, as if you wrote down information from the hard drive on a CD and hid it far in the pantry.
To achieve this, act in a similar way - fix the "channels" of access to information obtained with new experience. So, to leave behind the troubles of the past days, you need to follow simple recommendations:
Burn bridges. How to forget the past life, if everything leads to it again and again? Remove from the environment anything that evokes memories of the time or the person who hurt you. Throw away the teddy bear, “that very” shirt, souvenirs from trips and the like, or better yet, give it to the poor. Delete memorable photos, and burn printed ones with romantic letters and cute “souvenirs” like a scented herbarium. Change home and work, finally. Get rid of the temptation at the very opportunity to indulge in the suffering masochism that destroys you from the inside.
Learn new things. “Clog” the channels with fresh neural combinations, leaving no room for yesterday's negativity. Engage in previously unknown - the brain will switch from the blues of past grievances to a novelty. Take a painting or pottery course, play hockey or fly a glider, skydive or travel.
Go in for sports. The universal "cure" for depression is athletics. Running and swimming are the best options, and after 30 kilometers of cross-country on a bike, depression will get tired of chasing you. The main thing - without fanaticism; muscle overload can stimulate depression, and therefore you should not focus on the “rocking chair”.
Communicate. Consciousness is arranged in such a way that an individual outside the "flock" tends to stasis - spiritual "conservation", which completely inhibits the exit from a depressed state. Communicate. But! Without the usual framework and routine; contact strangers, discover new people. The best solution would be to engage in a hobby that involves communication - theater, oratory, and the "ether" will be filled with positive.
Learn. Education is a panacea for mental wounds. Here - new people, and communication, and unknown emotions, and flows of information ... If you have a broken heart - go to university or sign up for courses on mastering a new profession. This will not only improve the emotional background, giving the opportunity to live on, but also, perhaps, reveal a talent that can radically change life. And, of course, a new profession is a plus in a purely pragmatic sense, as a source of additional income.
Achieving a goal is not enough - you need to be able to fix it
All advice is good, if not crossed out with unforgivable stupidity. If you are still wondering how to forget past relationships and start new ones, you should not rush. You run the risk of simply transferring the image of the old person to the new one, and therefore you will take a “double blow”. Wait for the "healing" of the memory - this will happen quickly if you follow the instructions.
The right method of distraction will greatly affect your life, perhaps it will turn it upside down. You will become a different person, and stop living in the past, because with rapture and appetite for life you will plunge into the present. These truisms are the best (and only) way to get out of trouble without harming your health and leave your old life behind you.
forget and not remember ex boyfriend Maybe. Even the most painful breakup can be overcome. Even a heart broken into small fragments can be glued together. Even the brightest romance eventually turns into a mere memory. But what to do if you again and again return in your thoughts to past relationships?
What's stopping you from remembering your ex? Why doesn't time, other novels, and even work on yourself help?
1. You believe in the kinship of souls and are convinced that you will not meet anyone closer.
2. You had real love and it doesn't go unnoticed.
3. You have never loved anyone like this before.
4. Your future has been planned for years ahead.
5. You saw him as the father of your children.
6. It's hard for you to change your habits.
7. He reminds himself.
8. You have mutual friends.
9. You had a well-established life, and at home it was comfortable and cozy.
10. You were sure it was forever.
11. You don't believe that you can love someone again.
12. You don't believe that someone will love you again.
13. After your breakup, you often see each other.
14. You are friends with benefits.
15. You decided to remain friends. You agreed because you're not ready to let him out of your life.
16. You carefully follow his life on social networks and ask mutual friends about him.
17. He was the initiator of the gap. Your ego has been dealt a heavy blow and you can't deal with it.
18. He was not only your boyfriend, but also your best friend.
19. You don't know how to be alone.
20. You have lost inner harmony.
21. Your breakup has shattered your self-esteem and you can't recover.
22. You are waiting for him to come to his senses and return.
23. You do not want and cannot believe that he loved you less than you loved him. Or perhaps not at all.
24. You don't get along well with other men.
25. You don't want to forget him.
It doesn't really matter what the reason is that you can't forget him. There are always two options - he is really your destiny, and sooner or later you will be together again, or you love unrequitedly, and he will never return to you. In both cases, you have to think about yourself. Take charge of your own life, develop, achieve your goals, become the best version of yourself. Not for him or anyone else, but for yourself. Life does not stand still, and what it will be, we choose for ourselves.
Accept that you cannot forget him as a fact. Take this knowledge to the farthest corner of your soul and live on. Yours will return to you. Yours will not pass. Yours will be yours.
