If your wife and child left you, you need to carefully consider the plan for her return. However, first realize all your mistakes made in the past. If a woman is not afraid and leaves her husband, taking the child, this means that life with her husband did not suit her at all, and even for the sake of the child she is unable to continue living with her husband as it was.
Of course, you are united by a child. You can act through it. And it will be easier for you to try to return your wife precisely because of your common child. But this does not mean at all that you can relax and naively believe that you can sit back and do nothing.
You should get in touch with your wife and offer her help. Assure her that no matter what happens, you will always help her, that you do not want to stir up the past, but. You need to speak convincingly, but calmly. Offer to meet her on neutral ground. When meeting, be careful, behave respectfully, provide assistance, preferably material. Give your child a toy, sweets. Establish contact with your family at first simply human and parental. When you can calmly communicate with your wife as friends, then you can hope to establish with her already and more than friendly relations. This will all happen gradually. Don't expect quick success. Your wife needs to get used to you again. She should see in you an almost new person, another man whom she can look at with an admiring glance. It won't just happen, by itself. Stock up on patience. But it will happen if you are consistent in your words and actions.
Arrange with your wife about meetings with the child. Go to her terms. If she wants you to see him on her territory, so be it. If she forbids him to feed him with something specific, she knows better, she is a mother. Be prepared for the fact that at first, out of resentment, the wife will regularly “bite” you, make claims, cling to you.
Try to be patient and understanding. Only this can save your broken relationship. You must understand your wife, feel her pain, understand her feelings, feel her rejection, alienation, unwillingness to be with you. When you get used to her feelings, feel her, you will be halfway to a happy future together. No wonder there is a saying "Patience and work will grind everything." If you previously lacked patience and work on your relationship with your wife, now is the time to address this issue.
Love your family with all your soul, with all your heart. To do this, realize that you and your wife and child are one. How would you feel if your arm or leg was cut off? Do you understand? The pain is unbearable, and then there will be a slow death from loss of blood. Approximately the same thing happens if your wife leaves you with a child.
There are no situations in life that could not be resolved for the benefit of all participants in the events. Thinking people try to analyze and understand why everything happened. What conclusions should be drawn in order not to try to enter the same river twice. Fools keep making mistakes, stepping on a rake again and again. Smart people learn from the mistakes of others. When the wife left with the child, any man wonders what to do next? Is it worth returning the one that runs from the sinking family ship? Or is it better to leave everything as it is and not run after her? To understand this puzzle, you need to understand what family relationships are built on. What reasons prompted a woman to take such a serious step.
Bouquets, sweets, vows of eternal love - everyone goes through this, at least once in a lifetime. For some, this period drags on for decades, but most people resign themselves to the gray routine of life. Was there love? It is often confused with completely different feelings.
All these factors play a key role when suddenly faced with a situation in which a wife with a child leaves the family.
This main question which you need to ask yourself first. If love reigns in your little world, you can forgive everything. In this case, the woman should be returned. If there is no love, you are tired of each other to death - think about it, maybe the departure of your wife is your chance to start everything from scratch. In what cases is it better not to save a family:
These are bad calls that indicate that there is no happiness in your home. But, even in this case, remember 2 things:
Family life is based on the desires, ambitions and interaction of two people. In most cases, both are to blame. There are the most common reasons why a woman is ready to take her children and leave her hearth.
These arguments can break even strong relationships. After futile attempts to restore the former harmony, the woman will leave her husband and take the children. He can only blame himself for this.
Can a woman live with such a man? Perhaps at first, yes. She has hope that things will change soon. But, this cannot go on for long. Sooner or later, the instinct of self-preservation and the preservation of offspring will give its result. The family will collapse.
The first thing a man feels is a blow to his ego. Rare representatives of the strong half of humanity are ready to sit down and analyze the reasons for the gap. Most abandoned husbands, instead of thinking about what to do next, are ready to succumb to emotions. Here are the feelings most often caused by the departure of a wife and child:
Someone is looking for a spouse to make a scandal. For some, hatred settles in the heart, which blinds and makes it impossible to adequately assess the situation, to take the right steps. You need to pull yourself together and think about the true reasons for what happened. In order to understand what to do, sit down and listen to yourself and your desires.
Answer yourself a few questions:
It is worth understanding how serious your spouse's intentions are. Often a woman leaves the family in order to prove her readiness for drastic actions if the family puzzle is not resolved in her favor. Whether such a path is justified depends on the situation itself. Sometimes, leaving is the cardinal action that burns bridges. After a little analysis of your feelings for your spouse, you need to develop a strategy and strictly follow it.
There are several steps that need to be taken.
Important! A woman must understand that no matter what, you remain a reliable, decent and strong partner, a loving husband and a caring father. You are able to navigate the family ship through the storm. If you provoked the breakup, the spouse will be able to forgive and come back. Such husbands are not scattered.
Did she decide not to come back? Remember the main thing:
Therefore, behave like a civilized, well-mannered person. Give up the temptation to let your wife go around the world by taking away property. There is nothing more disgusting than a greedy man. Keep friendship, respect, good relationship with your former soul mate. And most importantly, if you still love her, do not give up hope for the rebirth of the family. The woman you love needs to be won again and again, at any age and in any situation. Doing good to relatives is a pleasant mission.
“It’s better to raise children separately than to hold on to a failing marriage just for their sake.”
Roman Vinilov.
And today we have a much more complicated topic than usual. Let's talk about what to do if a marriage with children falls apart. I want to immediately divide the situation into two independent components: wife and children. You can communicate with children even after a divorce, for this you need to properly build relationships with your ex-wife.
Sometimes it is the children that come to the fore, and the spouses live together precisely for the sake of them. For better or worse, everyone's choice, but logic dictates that if parents are unhappy together, their problems can affect parenting. This is the situation that is worth thinking about for a long time, and considering it from different angles. We must try to separate for ourselves the two aspects of marriage - the wife and children - realizing that the relationship with the spouse is in the foreground.
Those who grew up in the 90s are well aware of the problem of fatherlessness. Many did not know their fathers, and someone always had a few friends who were brought up only by their mother. It is not surprising that divorce and the separate upbringing of children are perceived extremely negatively in society today. But you need to understand that 15-20 years ago the situation in the country was completely different, and if someone was brought up only by their mother, then something clearly happened to their father. Some abandoned their families and left for a better life, someone got drunk or became a drug addict - and the mother broke off all relations with such a father. And someone even went to prison, died from crime or in military service. That is, peaceful divorces, when everything is in order with both parents, were a rarity. Life was hard, and the future was vague, and even the biggest troubles in the relationship were resolved without a break.
Now everything is different. Most marriages fall apart in the first years of existence. Often, children have already been born, and according to Russian judicial practice, they most often stay with their mother. But is it so bad when parents get divorced? Of course, it is better for children to grow up in a complete family, and it is not known with whom the former will converge, and how the child will be brought up. But in most cases, it is possible with the ex-wife to agree that you do not interfere with each other in fulfilling parental responsibilities. This is much better than when a marriage is based solely on children. Prolonged discord between parents has an extremely negative effect on the psyche of the child. And vice versa - there are a huge number of stories in which former spouses manage to adequately raise children, and they love their father no less than their mother. In education, the most important thing is a personal example, and a constant presence next to the child and attempts to teach something.
According to the law, the ex-wife cannot forbid the father to communicate with the children. If you are normal - you don’t drink, you’re not a drug addict, you don’t have problems with the law, you are ready to financially help children (including alimony) - then there are unlikely to be problems in communicating and raising children. Of course, there are situations when the ex-wife behaves inappropriately: she tries to do everything to excommunicate ex-husband from children, turns them against him. But then one of the questions can be closed - why do you need such a woman. We still specialize in returns, and relationships with children are already a more subtle topic. In addition, time will put everything in its place, the children will grow up and understand everything themselves. Yes, and you can almost always establish communication with your wife, and go forward if you offended her with something, for the sake of offspring.
Therefore, it is worth considering what is more important: children or an ex-wife? Do you love her? Do you think that she still loves you too, and that you will be better together? Just be honest.
In general, the situation with a divorce, when there are children, should be considered in the same way as a return in any other relationship. You can return. And children in this case are an added advantage. Just don’t tell her directly and even hint that no one will need her “with a trailer” - this is quite insulting and sounds like the words of an offended person. She must understand this herself.
You can't use them as a tool. In the process of returning ex girlfriend or wife, a man who has been successful in the early stages begins to communicate again with his beloved. And at this moment (if everything is fine), the girl has no negativity, and only positive memories pop up in her head. Everywhere she looks, everything reminds her of him. And in the eyes of her children, she sees her husband, remembers how they played together and spent time - everyone was happy. This cannot be manipulated, but it is a powerful argument for the restoration of relations.
If the wife is with a child, this is bad, but not fatal. A woman, other things being equal, will always choose the father of her children, and it’s not just possible to become better than another man - it’s your duty. What you do not need to do exactly is to come into conflict with him.
If everything goes well, then you yourself will notice a change in her attitude towards you. Ex-wife will definitely take an active interest in your new life and give other signs that he wants to return. But the return process is complex and thorny, and most importantly, it does not tolerate mistakes. To make them is simple: you relax a little, and you throw back all your efforts.
Therefore, study mine, come to the forum and tell your story (or read similar ones), seek personal advice. The situation when the wife left for another with children is difficult, but there is a way out of it. Especially if you turn to professionals.
Sincerely, Roman Vinilov.
Favorable return of the wife, despite the many ...Good afternoon. In general, the situation is as follows. My wife cheated on a man she met on the bus and that same evening rented an apartment for a day. I forgave her, a week later I found out that she continues to communicate with this person. When meeting with this man, he said that she herself was imposed on him, and he did not need her with her problems. After a quarrel (she rushed to fight me because I called him), I left the apartment, and she was with the child. The next day, her father entered the apartment through the window on the second floor, opened the apartment (I took the keys from her) and took out all the documents and things. From the 28th, she does not get in touch, ignores all calls and SMS, VK is blacklisted.
I am not deprived of parental rights, we do not judge, I work. I wrote a statement to the police against her father, but they said that it was a refusal material, since my wife and I were not divorced. The bottom line is this: how do I locate the child and ensure that the child either lives with me or spends 50% of the time?
Timur
There's an answer
Until you are formally divorced, you are a family, and this greatly complicates all processes. But, nevertheless, you have the right, referring to Article 61 of the RF IC (equality of rights and obligations of parents), to apply to the district court at your own place of residence (Article 29 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation) to determine the place of residence of your child. If you are not going to continue to be married to this woman, then you can simply file an application to the court for divorce, and already during the court session you will be able to make demands on the division of jointly acquired property and determine the question of which parent the child will remain with, the order of visits of a parent living separately from the child and other issues (Article 24 of the RF IC).
I want to note that at first it is still worth trying to find the whereabouts of the spouse and try to resolve all the conflicts out of court, and only after that apply for help to the guardianship and guardianship authorities or to the court, so you will save a lot of time and nerves.
It is believed that after a divorce, a common child should stay with his mother. But dad can only pay alimony and be content with communicating with his daughter or son on weekends. You can't count on more.
According to the generally accepted opinion, the court leaves the children to the father only if the mother voluntarily agrees to this or if she is not able to raise and provide for them - behaves inappropriately, abuses alcohol and alcohol, does not work, is mentally unbalanced. But even with this behavior, the ex-spouse has to fight for his baby. In other cases, the father actually has no chance to sue the child. Is this true, or is this opinion misleading?
First of all, let's turn to the "dry" statistics. Not so long ago, the authorities conducted a census of families with children whose parents divorced. So the number...
As you can see, the number of fathers with whom children remained after a divorce is not so small. For almost ten million mothers, there are over one million fathers. It is also worth considering that not every father is initially eager to raise his son or daughter on his own. After all, after winning, a single parent will have a lot of trouble.
Thus, it is definitely necessary for a father to fight for his own children.
Now let's see what the jurisprudence testifies.
A generalized analysis of cases found that from 2008 to 2010, courts in all regions, as a rule, left children with their mother. However, in the future, this practice changed - more and more judges determine the place of residence of minors with their father. This trend continues.
In matters of the upbringing and maintenance of minor children, the law grants father and mother equal rights and obligations. Every parent has the right to...
At the same time, the Declaration of the Rights of the Child dated November 20, 1959 states: a baby cannot be separated from his mother. It seems that everything is unambiguous and there can be no other point of view. But not everything is so simple. The same Declaration states that children should be brought up in an atmosphere of love, should receive moral support and be provided for. In addition, the baby must be guaranteed to receive comprehensive development and education.
Therefore, if the father has more opportunities to organize education, education, games and entertainment, it is in the interests of the children to stay with the father.
A similar position is set out in paragraph 5 of the Decree of the Plenum of the Supreme Court dated May 27, 1998, which contains a list of circumstances that courts must take into account when deciding on the place of residence of children. This means that the former spouse does not have priority rights in determining the place of residence of a son or daughter.
We talked more about what rights parents have after a divorce.
Before telling how dad, after a divorce, to sue the baby from ex-wife, let's figure out the reasons - why a son or daughter should stay with him.
The father, who thinks first of all about the child, cares first of all about his mental state. And he understands that forcibly breaking his attachment to his mother is not the best solution. Moreover, in order to love, care for and financially provide for children, it is not necessary to live with them.
However, life situations are different. If the ex-spouse is unable to take care of the baby and ensure its full development, the father must demand in court to change his place of residence.
As mentioned earlier, the legislator establishes the principle of parental equality. However, the main question is not defined in the law - with whom should the baby stay after the divorce of the spouses? This must be decided by the court.
When making a decision, the judge is guided by the principle of equality of parents. But, at the same time, thoroughly study ...
So, the decisive factors for the court are the moral character of the parents, financial possibilities, state of health, the opinion of the child himself. Therefore, a father who wants to sue a son or daughter from his ex-wife is obliged to present his best sides:
Among other things, you should enlist the support of your son or daughter (if they are 10 years old). The judge may call the child to the hearing and ask for his opinion. If the son or daughter has not reached the age of 10, their wish is not taken into account.
It seems that it is easy to get the support of a son or daughter - to buy a bright toy or sweets, take them to rides or go on vacation ... If we compare a cheerful and cheerful "Sunday" dad with a tired and busy mother, the latter clearly loses - at first glance, to children it will be better with dad. But the court is based not only on the children's opinion, but, first of all, on a real manifestation of concern - whether the parent is involved in education, whether he takes him to kindergarten, school, a circle or a section, how much time he devotes to communication.
