One often hears from women the regret that today's boys do not have enough male education, and as a result of the lack of male education, men do not manifest themselves in a manly way. This is a huge truth, but are we ourselves ready for such upbringing, including are women themselves ready to accept the difficult norms of male upbringing, upbringing like a man?
The belief "Men don't cry" is an essential part of a man's upbringing. I think this is a good belief, but you need to apply it with reason and mind.
Crying in and of itself is neither embarrassing nor harmful. It is good to cry with joy, you can cry at a funeral, where it is appropriate and accepted. But in other situations where children and women may cry, men do not. Men do not cry, because for them it is usually meaningless, and in order to remain men, that is, strong and reasonable people.
Not everyone knows this, but for a man, crying is meaningless. For women, everything is different: if a woman has grief and she cried, she usually feels better, crying helps a woman cope with mental pain. But with men it’s not like that, their grief and their pain is not alleviated by crying, no. Women believe in it with difficulty, but it is true - men do not feel better from tears.
If a man is against his tears, they cause him to protest and additional internal tension. If a man has nothing against male crying, he is indifferent to his own tears, as well as to any release of fluid from the body.
In male culture, crying is not accepted in the same way as among well-mannered people - mat. Crying is just a habit. Of course, if it is a habit developed from early childhood, crying seems natural and inevitable, but in cultures where the habit of crying is not cultivated, the habit of crying is not. Men do not cry not because it is shameful or bad, but because they have other tasks in life and they must be strong enough to keep their mind and calmness in any situation.
The situation is slightly different in psychotherapeutic groups, where crying is accepted. Men do not find themselves there often, and the atmosphere there, at least for business people, is, to put it mildly, strange for them, but if in that situation a man “fell over” and he wants to sob, this is completely normal. In different situations - different norms of behavior, and in the doctor's office you need to behave as the doctor says. Holding back crying in front of a psychotherapist is inappropriate.
A similar situation, where in ordinary life crying is allowed and useful for a man, this is unbearable. heartache which can only be alleviated by either vigorous physical activity or sobbing. Sobbing, from the point of view of a doctor, is an energetic respiratory pumping, in which endorphins are intensively released: hormones of joy and a cure for pain. This is a useful procedure that saves a man's health in an emergency.
If the steam boiler is too hot, it is imperative to release steam through the valve, otherwise the boiler, especially the fragile one, will explode. Crying is the very safety valve from emotions that are ready to explode the soul.
Anything can happen in life, and being ready for anything and everything is difficult. Life can sometimes hit so hard that the strongest man will fall and cry sobbing. Crying inside and being calm outside, if it is not justified by the demands of life, is not healthy. Trying to remain calm is a worthy intention, but in a situation of acute pain it is rather erroneous: this is not a situation where goals must be achieved at any cost. If there is a sharp pain in the soul, you can cry, it is natural and normal. After that, it is important to quickly pull yourself together, get together and return to the life of a man - that is, a large and often hard work, work without unnecessary emotions and crying.
And then - make sure that emergency internal situations do not arise.
If we return to the analogy with the boiler, then a real man- this is a high-quality, durable and well-established boiler, which has enough power (internal strength) to solve any problems in normal mode, without any overheating and without emergency situations.
When a man cries, it is his, albeit small, defeat as a man. Men do not cry. If you are a man and you cry - you allowed yourself weakness, you did not keep track of yourself and brought the internal situation with emotions to an emergency. It's not scary, but for a man it's wrong. Next time, be stronger and more prepared.
Or be more calm about your tears, if it's just age. Yes, this is curious: somewhere after fifty years, male hormones are gradually washed out in the body of a man, men begin to acquire more feminine features and outlines, and more and more often - absolutely unexpectedly! - breaks a man to tears. Men's tears or the absence of tears is not only the result of one or another upbringing, it is also just a hormonal factor. And in this sense - age.
Women love to take care of the little and unfortunate, they love to feel sorry, but the result of such a female upbringing is a girl, not a boy. Rarely do boys cry, whom their parents taught in a difficult situation - to act. More often cry those children who do not know what to do. Children cry not just from pain, children cry for adults to be sorry. "Cry, cry, it will be easier!" - grandmothers tell their granddaughters: girls are being taught the norms of female behavior. “Men don’t cry,” fathers say to their sons so that they don’t turn into a crybaby. See →
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn't be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.
It is always important for a woman to determine whether a man really loves her. The further development of relations and behavior of a woman depends on this.
If she is confident in the love of a man, she feels happy. If a woman is not sure about this, then she will inevitably experience constant stress.
The manifestations of love between men and women differ significantly. For example, women, in order to be sure that they are loved, need to regularly hear confessions from their chosen one. Men often do not repeat the words once said.
A man chooses his object of love and proves his feelings by actions. Experts also distinguish between five love languages: physical, auditory, gifts, time and service. Other experts emphasize that men do not tend to voice their feelings and emotions, but they will always listen to your wishes. In any case, a woman needs to learn to understand exactly how a man expresses his love.
Touch is the easiest way for a man to express his love. This method does not require effort and cost, but at the same time, touch is a very "speaking" sign of love in the eyes of a woman. A man who loves you will regularly touch your hands, hair, neck. These gestures in a loving man are natural. He will touch you not only when it is required by the rules of courtesy or circumstances.
The embrace of a loving man is never casual. Men embrace their chosen one with awe and love. In the arms of a loving man, you should be comfortable and warm.
Through hugs, men sometimes convey those feelings that they cannot voice in words. Listen to how you feel when a man hugs you.
A hug is a manifestation of concern for you, for your feminine essence and a sense of security. mature man takes relationships seriously and understands that hugs are a reason for a woman to assume that she claims to be the only one.
A man can suffer from love in two cases: when he resists it and when he feels that you do not open yourself to him.
In the first case, a man must decide on the further development of relations, and you can only behave like a self-respecting woman: always be irresistible and affectionate, but do not let a man get too close to you until he makes you understand that his decision to be with you.
In the second case, the suffering of a man will be noticeable at first sight: he will look after you and seek you, but with your cold attitude, the man will be drooping and, perhaps, even irritated. Anger is another manifestation of suffering.
You can understand that a man is deeply devoted to you and loves you in two main ways.
His feelings are always reflected in his behavior. If a man assures you of his love, but at the same time you do not feel his help and care, then you should think about the veracity of his words.
loving man will never allow you to doubt him. He will not give you reasons for jealousy, he will always be honest with you. Ask yourself the question "What is he doing for me?".
A loving man will always share everything he has with you.
A man is always ready to share his resources with the woman he loves. And this is not only about the material component. A man's resources are his time, energy, sense of humor, creativity, friends, social connections, achievements.
A loving man will regularly invite you to spend time with his friends, make you the main guest of his house and give you the right to dispose of everything that is in it.
At the same time, admiration for you is one of the signs mature love. A loving man realizes the value of your relationship. He does not forget to emphasize your strengths, thank you for your attention and efforts.
Ask yourself questions: “How does he behave with me?”, “Does he come to the rescue when I need it?”, “Is he ready to invest effort and material resources in the development of our relationship?”.
Love is a completely unpredictable feeling that is not regulated by any rules. Moreover, the behavior and actions of a man in love is sometimes very difficult to explain.
Photo gallery: Behavior and actions of a man in love
It can be said for sure that the behavior, as well as the actions of a man in love, are significantly different from the behavior of men and guys who are indifferent to this bright feeling.
There are some behavioral indicators of a man in love. For example, trembling in the body when he sees his object of adoration. This tremor cannot be overcome. In addition, the lover is given out by "burning" eyes. It is the sparkle in the eyes that indicates that a person is currently experiencing the happiest moments of his life. Sometimes the behavior and actions of a person in love is characterized by a running and downcast look. This is due to the fact that a man suffers from unrequited love.
A man in love is literally blown up from the inside by the most incredible feelings.
Some even wake up to real creative inspiration. If he was not previously observed writing poetry or singing songs, now he literally gushes with love odes or plays the guitar for his beloved every day. And it's not scary that most often his poems do not rhyme or the song leaves much to be desired. The main man does everything diligently and with soul.
In addition to behavior, the actions of a man in love change dramatically. Now he imitates his beloved in everything. If a girl loves to watch TV shows, then the guy forces himself to sit and watch these movies with his girlfriend. If he loves cosmetics and often does makeup, then a man, in order to get the favor of his beloved, gives her various cosmetic things.
How can a man in love behave? He can not sleep at night, dreams of his beloved and reciprocity. Of course, being in love is a pleasant feeling. However, constant insomnia is the result of fatigue and sleepiness during the day. The lover is ready to do everything for his beloved girl. He wants to spend as much time as possible with his girlfriend, and not with friends. Friends start teasing him.
A man in love begins to call all women by only one name - his beloved.
Of course, women and girls will certainly be angry with him, but he does not care about that. In the mornings, he can be seen "flying" on the wings of love to work or study. He enjoys every little thing and smiles at everyone. He tries to demonstrate all his positive qualities and show his abilities in order to surprise his beloved. A man in love does the most incredible things, for example, he writes in huge letters the name of his girlfriend and declarations of love on the pavement. If financial opportunities allow, a man in love can easily give his beloved the most expensive car or an amazing trip to Bali. You can get a tattoo on your chest with the name of your beloved.
There are many signs that indicate a man is in love.
The first and main such sign is a man's sexual attraction to a particular object. This is considered the first sign that shows a man's sympathy for a girl. At first, a man shows only sympathy, followed by love. In addition to sympathy, a man in love feels spiritual closeness with his partner. He likes to spend more time with his girlfriend. She loves to talk to her and touch her. Shows tenderness, and also does not hide his personal life. These signs indicate that this girl is not just his mistress, but a very dear person to him. By nature, men carefully protect their privacy from outsiders and do not allow interference. However, if he is in love, then he himself begins to talk about his love and gradually reveals the secrets of his own personal life.
If the beloved girl or woman asks, then the man in love can give up any of his habits, for example, refuse to play poker with guys every Friday.
Another sign of a man's love is a manifestation of tenderness and a desire to take care of his beloved. However, a man must be prepared for the fact that he will not receive reciprocity for his tenderness, as well as care. If a man really loves a woman, then he will not allow his beloved to suffer and cry because of his actions and deeds. A lover cannot intentionally offend his girlfriend. Although in the relationship of the two minor conflicts are not ruled out. This is true for all people in love. Women should be careful if a man is rude in a relationship or commits betrayal, this is proof that he is not in love at all, as he claims. In such cases, girls should think about how to build a joint future. However, such relations do not promise anything good.
You can’t constantly quarrel if people in love want to keep their love. A man in love reacts only in the first stages of a relationship to the tears of a woman. Frequent tantrums tire men, he may even decide to leave his beloved woman. It is important to understand that you cannot evaluate a man in love in the first days of a love relationship. Love relationships develop and move from one stage to another. Day after day, lovers will get to know each other, and get used to the changes. Love relationships are not only about romance.
Is it possible to understand whether a man loves a woman or not? Men and women are wired differently. It is easier for a woman to say “I love you! "than a man. Such recognition for a man is a very serious act. A man who openly admits this, tries on the role of a dependent person in advance. If women can calmly accept their addiction, then the man begins to panic. The more persistently the partner presses on him, the more he begins to panic. That is why even the most in love man is in no hurry to confess his love and remains silent. To determine whether a man is in love, you just need to carefully look at him.
A crying man is rarely seen. So mother nature and human morality ordered that the stronger sex experiences the events of her life in most cases “dry”, only occasionally allowing herself to “soak” emotions. So why is the man crying? What can make a man "shed a mean tear"?
Perhaps the main motivation male tears- helplessness, the inability to change something, to find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own impotence in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many variants of such helplessness. Someone is hurt and hurt to tears when the father offends the mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear from laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague went around in a career, a neighbor earns twice as much, younger brother built a luxurious cottage. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.
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Some are ready to cry out of pity for their beloved (“no one understands and appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw tantrums, hoping to arouse compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with a strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request from a “little boy” for help.
involuntary men's tears can be triggered by physical pain, such as when the dentist has pinched a nerve, or when the nose is bruised, when the impact stimulates the lacrimal glands. Also, everyone's pain threshold is different. By the way, "physiological" tears come out of many when cutting onions, and when the saying " laugh to tears" works.
force man cry maybe the loss of someone close to you: relatives, friends. True, at the time of the tragedy, paradoxically, men rarely cry. Grief does not cover them immediately, at first they rush, like an embrasure, onto a pile of problems that have piled on them, but when the chores are left behind, there is nothing to hide from trouble, the man relaxes, being alone with his grief, and then gives free rein tears.
Another reason why the stronger sex can be touched is the game, from football to computer shooters. Yes, yes, our men are big children, the game for them remains the main entertainment for life, and they remain gamblers in it until old age. Losing or winning causes a storm of emotions in men. We see tears of joy from victory among the athletes standing on the podium, and there is no doubt about their fortitude and masculinity, the losers in the competition are crying too. And on the "opposite side", in the stands, in front of the TV screens, hundreds of strong guys also let out a tear. Surprisingly, according to statistics, from 15 to 25% of those present at sports arenas during decisive competitions men cry because of the defeat or victory of his favorite team.
Men are just as, and sometimes more, sentimental than women. They able to cry from joy and empathy, being present at the birth of a child, from tenderness, having heard the first “dad” of a little son, from nostalgia, being in the yard of his childhood.
Yes, adult men tend to cry infrequently. This is due, first of all, to a certain level of hormones, little subject to fluctuations, while in women it changes all the time, which affects their physical and mental state. In addition, in our time, from an early age, boys are told: "Don't cry, you're a man!" So they grow up with a “program” not to cry, not to show their emotions under any circumstances, so as not to appear in the eyes of those around them as a rag, a nurse, a weakling. Meanwhile, the thesis that real men don't cry, appeared relatively recently. In ancient Greece, where brutality was elevated to an absolute cult, men's tears were considered a manifestation of generosity, nobility of feelings. Our ancestors were convinced that only a strong person can afford to openly show their emotions, while a weak one depends on the opinions of others and is afraid of general ridicule.)
I found my neighbor in tears, he recently lost his father and mother. I sat with him for four hours, like a stranger, but ... This involuntary "nakedness" of him resonated in me with something piercing and now, when we meet, we don't just throw "hello" - we meet with a look. He remains for me as strong and courageous as he was before, just now I know for sure that I will never reproach a man for tears, because these four hours were in my life.
Why does a man cry, because men are known as the less emotional sex. It is men who usually remain cold and unflappable in difficult situations. But it's not quite right to keep all emotions in yourself. It's bad for health. But you don't have to be sloppy either. There are situations in which men can openly show their emotions, which we were not. Consider under what life circumstances men can cry.
Men have always cried. However, the acceptability of male crying varied across time and culture. Such a manifestation of emotions in men is not always permissible. If you look through ancient Greek and Roman history, you can find many stories about crying men. For example, in the Iliad of Homer, the heroic qualities of Odysseus do not conflict with the moments when he yearns and cries for home, for relatives and friends, and mourns his fallen comrades. But Odysseus never lost heart from loneliness and disappointment. And he often tries to hide his tears from prying eyes.
The Old Testament is also replete with male weeping. Crying was part of praying to God. Also, Jewish men shed a tear before going into battle. Church ministers believed that tears are a gift and a natural addition to a person's spirituality.
At some point, tears began to be seen as an absolute force on the one hand, and on the other - manipulation.
In the Victorian era, tears were considered an exclusively feminine quality, since it is the woman who is the graceful and fragile nature, which is completely filled with emotions. In the 20th century, the ideal of a man who never cries appeared. And most men were brought up in this manner. And these men continue to raise their children the same way. This is both right and wrong. Every person has their own opinion. I will not urge you to cry or never cry. I just give a few life situations in which men can cry and no one will look at it with contempt.
