Hello, Ilya Dmitrievich!
Joint family life can be imagined as a marathon distance, where not all couples reach the finish line: they live together all their lives until old age, while others leave it for various reasons. But it should be noted that any more or less long-term relationship between two partners, as a rule, is not without crises.
Divorce is the easiest way to resolve interpersonal problems that have been building up in a marriage for a long time. But what to do if a pre-divorce situation arose in the family?
In the beginning, it is important to understand what you really want: to change the relationship and take it to the next level, or to do it "the way it used to be."
If you are more attracted to the first option, then get ready for the fact that you may have to work alone and not wait for your wife to immediately meet you halfway. It is a slow and difficult process, but always productive.
If you are attracted to the second option, then think about why you need “as before”? Such a relationship has already led you to a pre-divorce situation once. To do as before means to secure your life from quarrel to quarrel.
I suggest that you focus all your efforts on the first option and try to do your best. And “as always” can be done without effort. If you're ready for the recovery process, here are a few steps to get your relationship back on track. In this case, it doesn’t matter what exactly caused the crisis in the relationship: betrayal, early marriage, a clear lack of one of the partners (alcoholism), a crisis year, something else (add yourself).
Sequence of steps:
Sincerely, Pleshkova V.V.
Liana RaymanovaThere is nothing more beautiful than happy life together when love and mutual understanding flourish in the family for many years, and the spouses, despite the number of years they have lived together, still appreciate and love each other.
What is a crystal wedding? In our country, it is customary to celebrate wedding anniversaries and. Depending on the number of years lived, they have different names, for example, the first year after the wedding is called chintz, the second anniversary is paper, and so on. After how many years is a crystal (glass) wedding celebrated? A crystal wedding anniversary is 15 years of marriage. It received its name not so long ago, most often it was called glass. The anniversary got its name due to the special properties of crystal and its natural purity. Crystal is a fragile type of glass, any careless movement, and it will break into many fragments. So the family, despite 15 years of living together, is still very fragile.
Let's take a closer look at the title. So why is the 15th wedding anniversary called crystal or glass? The people called it a glass wedding, the modern name is more romantic and harmonious. Everyone can understand the name of the anniversary in their own way, but nevertheless, it has a symbolic connotation:
Crystal is very fragile, so you need to protect your family from troubles and conflicts that can destroy a marriage, even after fifteen years family life
A crystal wedding is an important date for any family. This day should be truly memorable.
Useful tips for those couples who decide to celebrate a crystal wedding: 15th wedding anniversary ideas:
A crystal wedding is not only an occasion to organize a holiday for yourself and guests, but also a special day on which spouses need to analyze their life together and understand important truths. On this day, each of the spouses should think about their behavior in the family, pay attention to the mistakes that they may make and make sure that they do not happen again. In addition, on the glass anniversary, you can perform your own cherished dreams and forgotten family plans. The most important thing is that it be time that you will spend together.
How to celebrate the fifteenth anniversary, each couple decides for themselves. It can be a romantic evening or a big celebration with many guests.
On this day, it is customary to invite friends and relatives who were at the marriage ceremony and who entered into life during the marriage.
According to a long tradition, for their crystal wedding, the spouses break one old mirror, which belonged to the generation of the family and which has seen many tears and disappointments. According to this tradition, spouses thus save their lives from problems and difficulties, and also let happiness and mutual understanding into their family.
After fifteen years of living together, you can draw a line by analyzing the achievements of the family, your relationship. And it is imperative to set new goals, to think about the implementation of plans that have not yet been fulfilled.
A crystal wedding is a festive day for a couple, so they should look the same on this day. The choice of outfits should be taken very carefully, after all, on this memorable day, the spouses will be in the spotlight throughout the holiday.
A crystal wedding is, first of all, a family holiday. Traditionally, it is customary to celebrate it with close friends and relatives. The presence of the parents of the spouses is obligatory at the celebration. This is a kind of symbol of respect for the older generation. Also, children must be present at the celebration.
Good friends are the backbone of any couple. They help in difficult times, support and give valuable advice, so they must be at a crystal wedding. And do not forget to organize a photo shoot for the 15th wedding anniversary. Memorable photos will delight you and your guests for a long time to come. . And remember that good company is the key to a happy holiday and unforgettable experiences.
February 28, 2018, 12:19
I am potential ex-husband. 9 years of marriage, 10 years since we met. Two children, girls. This year the oldest is 9 years old, the youngest is 5 years old. She wants a divorce. For my part, there is no betrayal, alcoholism and other "strong" vices also do not exist. There is regular smoking during working hours, I didn’t smoke at home, my wife never saw me with a cigarette, she only smelled it after a working day. There is still controversy over taking large amounts of credit. He believes that it is necessary to build EVERYTHING in a year or two or three, buy EVERYTHING, and then give it away. At one time I worked as a loan officer, I saw a lot, I have a negative attitude towards loans of significant amounts. This is the disagreement. After the second child, sex became rare, at most 2-3 times a week, and sometimes, if necessary, either from my side or from her. It's not enough for her and for me. But at the same time, we are both silent and angry at each other. You won’t wait for a smile from her for several years, she only requires it. The other day I found old pictures of past years, even when only the eldest daughter was born and then until about the age of 2 years of the youngest daughter. In these pictures we are still happy. They quarreled, of course, from time to time for various reasons. But I have always considered it important that we put up because we love. Everyone quarrels, but only those who love reconcile. But just like that, out of nowhere, she declares two months ago that she wants a divorce. That all nine years she suffered. And that he wants to start a new life. With children and without me. And I!? She single-handedly decided to destroy my family and leaves me alone. No kids next to me! Of course I was shocked at first. Of course, I took it emotionally. But what do you wives expect from men when you say you want to destroy a family? That they will joyfully jump around you, thanks for the devastation?! She says that this is the beginning of a new life for her. But we perceive divorce differently. For me, this is destruction. Imagine the picture after the explosion of the atomic bomb in the city, these are ruins.
Don't you think that maybe you can't "keep the hearth". Often from you good word you can't wait, but you keep demanding and demanding.
The more I think about the consequences of divorce, the more it hurts. A person has consciousness, these are thoughts at the current moment in time, memories of the past and thoughts about the future. This is probably the same soul that is spoken of in religions. So, from the gap, the deepest wound in the mind and it heals with terrible pain. She presses. To imagine Her with another mzhkm is even more painful, rage rolls over. I don’t even know how I will behave if I suddenly meet a potential future M. And to realize that some kind of “left dad”, who needs mom for comfort, will bring up children, weakness, pain and anger roll in at the same time; man, but to sob hunting ska at a different moment.
And yet, why should husbands always yield, even when they are right, while wives do not want to accept even the thought that they should yield to their husband on some issue.
This state of "she wants a divorce" has been going on for two and a half months now. It's hard, it hurts, it's inevitable... because SHE wants it. Feeling like this is the end.
And yet ... I want an official war, so that the law gives the right to shed someone else's blood, so that it's not only bad for you, to release all the anger for everything at everyone. And at some point, let there be peace and quiet.
02/20/2015 08:33:57, Sergey198206
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Currently, family psychology and relationship psychology draw our attention to the presence of crises in the lives of people who love each other.
It's no secret that every couple has periods when it seems that everything is smooth and good, but if you look closely at the edges of what is happening, then something will not work out or even fall apart.
You suddenly begin to notice all the shortcomings of your partner: loud stomping around the apartment, arms and legs spread wide on the bed during sleep, a crumpled wet towel on an armchair in the room, long picking up for a walk, etc. - everything that did not bother and amused you before seems unbearable today.
You start calling your friends, complaining about your own irritability, mentioning the power of habit in relationships, getting confused in words, not knowing what you want; after slowly wandering home, every now and then, asking yourself the question: “What to do next?”
STOP! STOP TORRING YOURSELF, FRIENDS AND SECOND HALF WITH YOUR OWN IRRITABILITY AND A COLD LOOK.
First, you should know that all couples go through such crises in relationships, without exception. Even your mom and dad, who have been together for 25 years and love each other, also faced this more than once.
For reference: it is important to remember that a crisis always gives rise to contradictions (from a reassessment of one’s own values to a radical new look at the way of life), experiencing one’s own crisis (for example, middle age) is not easy, and even if two people are in this state, then it will take a lot of time, effort, patience, mutual respect, love and help to each other to maintain and strengthen relations.
In addition, during periods of crisis, many new interesting views on your relationship are born. It's like the saying: "Truth is born in a dispute."
Everything that you take out of a difficult crisis period allows you to get to know and understand each other better, you begin to treat your partner more carefully.
And one more thing... Everything has its beginning and its end (this also applies to crises) - therefore, if you remember this simple truth, then difficulties are much easier to endure.
So, there are several most serious crisis periods in the life of every couple. Consider them:
Features of manifestation: it begins to seem to you that romance is being replaced by ordinary everyday life, “everyday life” prevails over “rose-colored glasses.” , in fact, he sleeps with a pillow on his head and chatters his teeth in his sleep). During the first year of marriage, couples have to find many compromises. If you are ready for a calm discussion of exciting issues and contradictions, then your relationship will develop its own norms.
Interesting: 90% of couples break up during the first year of life.
Conclusion: be among the 10% :)
Features of manifestation: The birth of the first child entails a tense stressful situation in the life of every couple. Of course, children are a great joy and happiness, but ... Now you have to get used to a new status: YOU ARE PARENTS.
This period is complicated by your general fatigue from sleepless nights, diapers, crying baby. Most of your attention goes to the child, it seems to the husband that they have completely forgotten about him ...
You are torn from the number of worries and endless cases, thoughts that you do not have time to do anything, even once again hug your loved one, you are tormented by returning your former figure and running out of the house at least for a second to do your business.
Of course, disputes begin about how to properly raise a child. At this stage of the relationship, flexibility should be shown, respect for the opinion of the partner, it is important to find a single line in the upbringing of the child.
Interesting: experiencing a crisis of 3-5 years, 40% of couples break up.
Conclusion: Join the 60%, you will have the opportunity to hear the proud: "Mom and Dad, I love you very much" :)
Features of manifestation: the mystery is that all spheres of life and the human psyche are superimposed on each other. An age crisis may begin in one of the spouses.
If there is a child, then you are sure to experience at this time his age characteristics of either 3 or 7 years. Children in these age periods are able to turn from the most obedient to the most unpredictable and uncontrollable fidgets in the world, capable of unbalancing any emotionally stable parent.
In addition, there are noticeable changes at work: moving up the career ladder, developing your own business - which entails an increase in responsibility and the number of duties performed.
Also, experts note that couples begin to compare their dreams with reality, often the desired does not coincide with reality - this leads to disappointment.
It starts to seem to you and your soulmate that everything in your life is monotonous, you want something unusual, new.
At this stage it is important: be patient like never before. Hold each other tighter than usual! Remember that the child is NORMAL, he just grows up. You need to bring new JOINT activities and hobbies into your life.
Interesting: experiencing a crisis of 7-9 years, 60% of couples break up with a clear understanding of the phrase: "from love to hate is one step."
Conclusion: excel, stand on the side of the 40% and prove the opposite: “from misunderstanding to a new wave of love in a relationship, passionate sex and joint tango classes in a dance class.”
Features of manifestation: you begin to look back at your life and keep track of "ups" and "defeats", comparing your achievements with the successes of friends.
You and he are going through an age crisis and are engaged in a reassessment of values (both your own and those within the family), pay attention to the accumulated grievances, ask the question - is it not in vain that you connected your life with this particular person.
By the way, the children grew up and became independent. If the child wants to lead an independent lifestyle, you will again have to learn to live together.
At this stage, you and he have become much wiser. You know each other much better than in the first years of your life together, you became family. You still have topics for discussion, unfinished plans and joint projects.
Interesting: experiencing a crisis of 15-20 years, 10% of couples break up.
Conclusion: be on the side of 90%, create a reason for pride for your children and grandchildren :)
Having learned this simple truth, it will become easier to endure any difficulties. Understanding that a crisis is an objective thing helps to change the focus of vision: you are not bad or he is bad, this is such a period and all couples experience it, without exception.
It is crises that show the “margin of safety” of relations. A crisis brings out all your weaknesses (what you fight about) and all your strengths (what helps you solve problems).
I hope you managed to understand the conditional classification of crisis periods in a relationship. Now I propose to take a look at useful tips that will help you cope with the difficult stages in your life together:
Great sex strengthens relationships, allows you to look at your loved one from a special, very intimate side, makes you closer and helps to solve, and possibly eliminate most of the problems (excessive grouchiness, distance from each other, dissatisfaction with untidy socks, irritation from an empty refrigerator and etc.).
Remember, our personal hobbies make us interesting to another partner. Instead of recriminations, meet friends, join a sports club, attend a new seminar or training. Move away from each other just enough to start to get bored.
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How to survive a crisis in a relationship
Currently, family psychology and relationship psychology draw our attention to the presence of crises in the lives of people who love each other. It's no secret that every couple has periods
http://www.love-smart.ru/657/
How to overcome the crises of family life: 3, 5, 7, 14 and 25 years of marriage
Both the psychology of an individual and the psychology of marriage are characterized by crisis states. Are family life crises natural stages in the development of relationships or a sign of an imbalance in relationships?
“Before, they lived in perfect harmony all their lives, but they did not know grief,” some conservative readers will say. They will say, and they will not be mistaken. Indeed, family relations just a few generations ago were vastly different from those of today. It is the archaic idea of the family that can become the first barrier to overcome the crisis.
Why were marriages so strong in the past? The answer lies directly in the world around us, and specifically in society. Primitive man needed a warm hearth and care. A little later, the position of a woman as the guardian of a domestic nest intensified: men were primarily engaged in physical labor and war. But there are no living memories of this period in the mass consciousness. Many people still draw their idea of a happy family life from the 18th-19th centuries. This happens, first of all, because of the living example of the grandparents (great-grandparents) and, oddly enough, the school course of classical literature. It is from here that the ideas about large and friendly families “come”, where everyone plays “their” roles.
Since the 1950s, human civilization has changed dramatically. Metamorphosis befell and family relations. The rapid development of the economy (both in the West and in the USSR) provoked a demand for female labor: now a woman became financially independent. The emerging consumer society looked at the union of a man and a woman in a completely different way: cohabitation without marriage, premarital sexual relations and divorce became normal. Despite easy and cheap access to material goods, a person has become more prone to stress and depression. Recessions in family relationships have also become more intense, because now it is not customary to hide your emotions and desires.
The first problems begin with a young unit of society after a year of cohabitation. Emotionally, newlyweds are still very attached to their parents, their thinking system still has a “child-parent” pattern of behavior. In their behavior, young people still subconsciously copy the manner of their parents.
For example, the mother of the girl Olya was the leader in the family. Her husband Oleg has a father. Naturally, the young wife regards Oleg's attempts to lead as a suppression of his personality. Oleg, in turn, perceives the independence of the second half as disrespect for himself and Olya's unwillingness to live in marriage.
The crisis of the first year of family life is easily solved with a high level of mutual consciousness of the couple. Young, creating a family, are sure that now their disagreements will definitely come to an end. Of course it isn't. No matter how similar the temperaments of our heroes are, a certain “grinding in” is always needed.
An effective way to "prevent" the consequences of the first years living together is ordinary cohabitation. Today's social norms allow the future bride and groom to "taste" life together.
The next imbalance in family relations is connected with the fact that the husband and wife finally “got used” to each other. The crisis of three years is also known in pedagogy. The kid makes his first conscious actions, without fail repeating to his parents: “I myself!”. The child changes his role from unconscious infancy, moving to a new, conscious stage.
A new stage, a new social role opens up before a young family. Most often, it is during this period that the birth of a child falls. Thus, yesterday's newlyweds turn into parents. And parenthood is a completely new and unexplored area for an inexperienced unit of society.
In addition to the birth of a child, spouses are forced to solve financial problems. It is by the third year of marriage that a man can turn into an ardent workaholic. In addition to the need to solve housing and financial issues, he may feel unnecessary in his own house, in his own family. A newborn baby can even make a new dad feel jealous. And there is every reason for this: all attention is now paid exclusively to the child. The wife, once attractive and sweet, suddenly becomes a tortured, nervous parody of herself.
Expecting help and support from her husband, a young mother meets only isolation, indifference and irritation. Love and passion eventually grow into marital friendship, or even just mutual responsibility for the child. From the current situation, men usually see one way out - to appear at home less often. Run away from the realm of diapers, constant crying, and mother-in-law's advice.
Depending on temperament, a man can “run” to two places: either to friends or to a woman. It is on the “three-year” crisis that the largest number of divorces falls.
First, a novice dad needs to get used to the fact that he is a father. Mom needs to get used to the same thought. Often it is mothers who beat off young man sense of responsibility for your child. Do not be afraid to leave the child under the supervision of her husband. A young mother has the right to personal time and self-care. Spending time together more often is an excellent tool in the fight against the "crisis of the third year."
When a woman goes to work after a decree, her man usually does not get any better. Now the housework, previously invisible to the ever-busy father of the family, has to be divided into two. The mother of the family practically loses interest in "women's" activities: after all, from the "diaper" world, she can again return to her favorite work, to her hobbies and the usual pace of life. A representative of the strong half of humanity may experience apathy and even depression. It is especially dangerous during this period for the family breadwinner to lose his job.
Family responsibilities must be shared. This is an unshakable rule of family life. How can a man lose faith in himself, even an unemployed man who can take care of his family?
The most controversial is the definition of the crisis of seven years. Psychologists characterize it as a banal fatigue from the routine. By the seventh year of marriage, a career is practically built, the housing issue is settled, and the course of life becomes monotonous and slightly boring. The child has already grown up, most likely goes to kindergarten, later to school. Everything goes on as usual. The couple studied each other "as flaky."
Such a routine is unacceptable for creative and active people. Romantic love in such a marriage, as a rule, does not remain: only strong friendship. After 7-9 years of marriage, the spouses may have really “real” lovers, and not fleeting hobbies. A family can collapse in the blink of an eye.
Especially often at this stage of marriage, it is women who initiate a divorce: often especially eccentric ladies are not embarrassed by the prospect of leaving their father with a child in their arms, the prospect of a new life with a lover is so tempting. Another reason for the initiative to break up a marriage may be the husband's infidelity. But men leave the family at this stage much less often.
The controversy in defining Year 7 Crisis is that many couples define this phase of their married life as a truly happy period of their lives. The fact is that with a grown child, loving parents are always interested. This is the first fishing in the boy's life, the first sewn dress for the doll in the girl's life, help for mom and dad. It is from this age that their children are introduced to such an important thing as traditional family values.
Don't let your family dry up! Take the whole family on a tour of exotic countries, travel around your native land, find a hobby that occupies the whole family. Remember: your child is already at a sufficiently conscious age for him to form an idea about the family, the role of children, parents. Ideas formed at 5-8 years old, by the way, will remain with a person for life.
The active life of the family also plays an important role in the formation of gender (sex) patterns of behavior.
The most problematic in psychological terms may be 14-15 years of life together. During this period, the whole family begins a "transitional age". Parents begin a midlife crisis, and just yesterday, mischievous and smiling children turn into gloomy, angular teenagers. It is this time that is most dangerous for the integrity of the family. “Heavy” thoughts begin to overcome: “what have I achieved?” "why so few?" "Who am i?". A man from an energetic father of the family smoothly turns into a "sofa philosopher".
At this age comes the understanding: now or never. A person, regardless of gender, has to do something “such”. Men can "hit" politics, subcultures, extreme sports. Mothers of families - into religion, excessive charity, dubious health practices. With all their appearance, 40-year-olds demonstrate to the world: “Hey, look, I'm still young! I'm not an old man!" Their child, on the contrary, demonstrates to the world his “adulthood” and toughness.
Unfortunately, it is precisely such thoughts that often push spouses to change. In contrast to the previous period, the initiator of adultery is usually a man.
“You can understand a 14-year-old boy skating and chasing girls. But what would an adult man, the head of the family! ”The grandmothers gossip at the entrance.
In fact, people who have crossed the line of middle age are more like teenagers than it seems at first glance. A midlife crisis turns previously loving, adequate spouses into irritable, tiring, and slightly eccentric people.
In order to overcome this crisis, it is enough to share each other's hobbies. Or take an example from their own children. Bring to the relationship the same naivety and romance that a couple of 14-year-old teenagers in love, walking hand in hand in the spring in the park, are capable of. Arrange your dream date, skydive, climb Elbrus or Mont Blanc! The world is still in your hands!
After stormy days, calm times come: the children have become almost independent (although they still need help), financial problems no longer bother. “Everything that could be achieved, we have already achieved,” can be heard from couples who have lived together for more than 20 years. It would seem that a marriage that has lasted a quarter of a century simply cannot fall apart. But that's in theory. In practice, unfortunately, there are more than enough opposite examples. Sometimes it turns out that all this time the children were the concrete holding the family together. And now that concrete has crumbled. The cell of society is disintegrating.
It is highly doubtful that all these years the union was "held" only by children. It is certain that over the years the couple have changed in personal terms. It is worth taking a closer look: perhaps in front of you is a new, interesting person. If you've survived so many crises, you'll survive this one.
Absolutely any crises of family life can be overcome. The main thing is to be honest with yourself and your life partner.
Source:
How to overcome the crises of family life: 3, 5, 7, 14 and 25 years of marriage
How to overcome crises of family life and save marriage: causes of disharmony in relationships, features of crises 1,3, 5,7
http://ladyideas.ru/krizisy-semejnoj-zhizni/
The crisis of family life 5-7 years of marriage. "Return Crisis"
From a woman's point of view At this time, she returns to an active professional and social life after the birth of a child: she establishes new connections, acquires a large circle of new acquaintances, and begins to fulfill her professional tasks with new zeal. A woman understands that much ceases to be in time. She faces an almost impossible task: to keep the comfort of the house, to pay attention to the child and her husband, to fulfill her duties at work and look the way she wants. New life after forced seclusion, a woman may be accompanied by an acute need for fresh emotional experiences. This situation can lead to cheating wife just in the fifth year of family life.
According to statistics, it is women who often become the initiators of a divorce at this time. The fact is that everything is already established in the family: life, communication, work. Husband and wife are fed up with each other's company. In a family during this time, two or even three children can be born. Everyone already has clearly assigned responsibilities, and each of your days is similar to the previous one. Housekeeping, cooking, laundry, cleaning and raising children.
Financial responsibility hangs on the husband, he builds a career and ... becomes more and more attractive to other women. If a woman has already crossed this line, she can be convinced of the correctness of the opinion that many men acquire more and more attractive properties with age - charm, sexuality, charm, light gray hair, indicating wisdom. Relationships in marriage are experiencing a crisis of development.
From a man's point of view During this period, men often complain that their wives no longer share their hobbies, they ignore romantic impulses. They want to feel the thrill of passion, sex, they want to feel like hunters again, to understand that they can still do a lot in the intimate sphere. During this period, men often make connections on the side. At the same time, the “traitors” do not yet think about parting with their wife and, with a serious threat of exposure, easily part with their mistress. A man cannot easily destroy a home, a family, a habitual way of life. He values too much his efforts to create all this and is too afraid of change. After all, it’s not for nothing that men say: “Unlike a woman who can give up everything, a man never goes nowhere.”
It seems that everything that is needed for the family, you have created, what to do next? What else should be in your family so that it does not look like the beginning of the end? Everything seems to be fine, but it seems that love is gone, there is no passion of interest as in the first years of marriage.
It is in the power of women now to support her husband in everything - to try to understand his problems at work, the crisis, etc. If the wife begins to criticize him, this can only further alienate the man, he will think that he is not understood at home and will seek understanding elsewhere. And, as you know, you don’t have to look for this for a long time, if there is a desire, but the situation will turn up.
For a woman, an emotional shake-up is definitely needed now - you can go to work if you are not working yet, take up a new business, embody interesting ideas. If there is a desire and an opportunity, the birth of a new child can be a way out of such stagnation. It's entirely possible that this event will take you back to a vibrant 3rd year relationship.
Do not rush to conclusions. Understand that your love has just moved to a new stage, acquired new sensations. Psychologists advise during this period to rest from each other more often, go to a fitness club, meet with friends, and let your husband go to football. You can take up a new hobby, change your image, thereby bringing a touch of novelty into your life. You will see that you will certainly have new topics to discuss with your husband.
It just so happened that now this topic is more than relevant to me. Those who have read me before know that my husband is everything to me, he is air for me and I cannot live even a week without him. So it was ... No, now he is still perfect. I just got burned. He's perfect, and I'm a fool =))) As expected =)))
Men:
1. Most men do not worry much about divorce, because they so dreamed of becoming free again and relieving themselves of responsibility for their family and children. In addition, they wanted to meet a better, younger woman who would not get bored as quickly as his wife, and these men realize their fantasies and dreams with her. They believe that family life interfered with the implementation of fantasies. Two years "at large" lead them to the idea that the family is still better, so during the first two years these men marry again (some, however, to their ex-wives), but over the years they begin to realize that the first wife was better than the second, although they do not regret the divorce.
2. What does a divorce after a long life together lead to another, smaller category of men? They enjoy freedom, change partners, do not get married for a long time, and at the same time, without realizing, they lose the best years of their lives, and by the age of 50 they suddenly wake up in them a craving for family life, and the choice of partners is already small, and he himself has lost the "commodity view". This category of men, if there is material wealth, finds himself a young wife to the envy of friends and ex-wife. But this “diamond of youth, beauty and freshness requires a good cut, that is, large financial expenses, there is no time for a strong family, to create the appearance of it for friends and acquaintances, plus the eternal fear of betrayal. And those men who do not have material wealth are content with what comes to hand, because sexual activity is wasted on random partners who require more (in comparison with their wife) emotional, physical, psychological and sexual costs; hopes for a “free life” did not come true, and there was no support in a difficult life situation, for a man this is a disaster, so this man understands that the first marriage was better than the second.
3. There is a third category of men whose divorce leads to severe depression, alcoholism, a strong sense of loneliness, confusion, loss of interest in work and life in general become its concomitant factors. Responsibility for the former family, which they abandoned, has grown into responsibility for themselves, and not every man can cope with this. In this situation, a psychotherapist is indispensable. Family life for this category of men again becomes that happy island where he would like to return, but it is often too late, so the inexorable statistics determine average age men 58 years old (although, of course, there are many different reasons for early death, but one of them, of course, is divorce).
Women:
1. Divorce for the vast majority of women is a tragedy that is accompanied by deep depression. Thoughts about “why live now”, “for whom to live now”, very often lead a woman to the decision to stop this meaningless life, so many of them end up in a hospital bed, this is at best, after which they realize that life goes on, need to raise children or start building a new family.
2. After a divorce, a woman will almost never be serenely happy and calm, even if she has a second marriage, because there remains the fear of losing this husband as well or fear for the relationship of her stepfather with her child from her first marriage. Unfortunately, the second marriage for a woman is not always better than the first, although there are exceptions.
