Miracle Center - Women's Portal

Olga31

Hello! There is a common child. Please help me understand my condition, I can’t calmly communicate with ex-husband, I have a lot of resentment against him, I can’t overcome myself in order to communicate with him in a good way, I want for the sake of the child that he does not see this and does not feel this negativity, but I myself can’t cope with it!

I can’t calmly communicate with my ex-husband without conflict, I have a lot of resentment against him, I can’t overcome myself in order to communicate with him in a good way

How often do you see your ex-husband? Why resent him? What caused the divorce?

Olga31

Thank you for your response! I see him once a month when he meets with a child, we have a 2-year-old son, while the meetings are in my presence. Resentment due to the fact that after the birth of a child, a month later, due to a serious conflict, he went to live with his mother, and I was left alone with the child, the child had health problems, I waited 1.5 for him to return, we put up , but he was not going to return, my mother had rest, calmness and was engaged in her hobby, while I went to hospitals with a child and just survived, because he paid little, this money was not enough.

Another resentment due to the fact that he saw little of the child, when it was necessary to go to the doctor, he did not come, during the divorce, when I was not working yet, he wanted to pay 2000 rubles a month in alimony, resentment that when we reconciled, talked normally for a month, then if he didn’t like something, he disappeared and didn’t see his son for two months, and now that the child has grown up, all problems have been solved, he began to download the rights to the child and decide what the child will do, where you can take it anywhere! And it starts to annoy me a lot, I think I was sitting with my mother, sitting out when it was very difficult for me both morally, physically and financially! Sorry for the long text, just a lot of stuff

Olga31

The fact of the matter is that he wants so much that he can not see for 3 months and this is the norm for him, and why in the presence of me, because the child can be said not to know him, since he grew up from a month old without him

I asked him to see each other more often so that our son does not feel abandoned and that his father does not need him! And he always had excuses, then he didn’t have a ticket, then he was looking for work, then he was busy, etc. That’s why I also hated him, okay, our relationship, but what does the child have to do with it?

The only excuse for him is that he himself grew up without a father and now he also thinks that this is the norm !? He is very attached to his mother, I know she turned him against me, that he always listens to her and is afraid to tell her something in defiance! Even for a divorce, he came with her and the judge with her and had a conversation, but he was silent! He is his mother's son, he has not yet matured for the family, I understand everything, but how can I cope with this anger and resentment against them, how much they did and said bad things! I will have to communicate with him, so I don’t know how to let these grievances out of myself and start a dialogue with him normally

He is very attached to his mother, I know she turned him against me, that he always listens to her and is afraid to tell her something in defiance!

Who then contributed more to your divorce - husband or mother-in-law? Who is your anger really directed at?

Olga31

To the mother-in-law, because even when we were married, she first began to set him up against my relatives, then they looked at her the wrong way, then they answered the wrong way, if we quarreled, not even much, she called me and asked why I so she told him why. He told her everything, about everything, even what I personally told him as a husband ... I blame her for our divorce, but he only defended and listened to her, but I did. Although he is already 32 years old!

And the ex-husband is angry because he betrayed us and is now looking for a girlfriend! Although we have not only an ordinary marriage, but we are also married

Dmitry, I can’t even understand one thing why, when I called him on issues related to the child, if he is at home and his mother is nearby, he spoke to me with such hatred, neglect, and when he went out into the street, he called me back and talked on kind, I asked him why it was so, to which he answered me that with my mother I can’t discuss details and resolve issues? What is this

if he is at home and next to my mother, then he spoke to me with such hatred, disdain, and when he went out into the street, he called me back and talked kindly, I asked him why it was so, to which he answered me that with my mother I can’t discuss details and resolve issues

It seems that your husband has not yet separated from his mother, that is, the "umbilical cord" has not been completely cut. And speaking in ordinary language, he has not yet fully matured and feels like a child next to his mother. More often, the mother herself contributes to this, that is, she is afraid to be left alone. So your anger is more on the mother-in-law has an explanation.

Olga31

Yes, it is, she got him back, because she was used to living with him and for him to do everything for her (cleaning, cooking, in
Shops ran) on the one hand, I feel sorry for him, his mother is selfish, she did not think about her son, but thinks about herself. Then, in order for me to start talking with him in a good way, I need to understand that he did this because he is still a child, and did as his mother told him?

Then, in order for me to start talking with him in a good way, I need to understand that he did this because he is still a child, and did as his mother told him?

Yes, in fact it is. You can see in him that little boy who is afraid of his mother's discontent.
In this whole situation, Nature is on your side only because you can’t sleep with your mother (literally and figuratively). At least modern public opinion condemns it. Thus, sooner or later, but your husband will have to "break away" from his mother. It's just a matter of time. Whether you want to wait or not is up to you.

Review of the consultation

Olga31

I am very grateful to Dmitry for the provided psychological help! Dmitry helped me understand the essence of my problem with my ex-husband, now I know how to behave and communicate with him so that the child does not grow up in a negative, but in a normal positive atmosphere. With the help of Dmitry, I solved my question and problem. Thank you!

Elena Kuznetsova, a family psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relations, director of the Me and You dating agency, tells.

If there is a link

The friendship that former couples maintain is natural only if these people are connected by something after parting, for example, a child or a common business, the psychologist believes.

Most often, women are jealous of the former, who, and on emotions, ladies often put forward tough ultimatums to their partners. This is not always correct, because assertive actions can only achieve results from weak men who are used to obeying. A normal man will be dissatisfied with your demands.

Kuznetsova agrees that sometimes there really is: if a couple had once strong feelings, then it is likely that they have not completely faded away. And looking at the child, the man still thinks about ex-wife. Another thing is if his lady is already in a new relationship, or there has never been much love in the family - there is no cause for concern.

When “fighting” with a rival, do not severely limit a man, because he still cannot stop seeing a child or leave a common relationship. ex-wife business. Act gently: you can cry, be sad, even talk about your fears. You can, again in a mild form, offer an alternative. For example, do not go to the former so that she can communicate with the child in her house, but take the baby to her place for the weekend.

A new woman should be fully armed and, if a man is still not indifferent to her. Carefully it is worth finding out from the chosen one what he liked in past relationships and what he lacked. After that, try to give your partner everything he needs: care, attention, sex, etc.

When nothing binds

If there is no “connecting link”, and the man still often communicates with the former, or even former passions, saying that he remained on good terms with everyone after the breakup, this is a cause for concern.

“Such a man can not even be called. This is a man-woman, he is for everyone best girlfriend. Or this is a womanizer, and you are another pass option for him. With a high degree of probability, we can say that such a man does not just see his ex, but meets them for sex, ”Kuznetsova notes.

If a man communicates in a friendly way not with all the former, but with only one woman, these relationships are still unnatural.

“If people are not connected by anything, what is the point of maintaining a relationship? Advise, talk about your personal life? And how then to look into the eyes of the current passion? - continues the psychologist.

Kuznetsova explains that there is no such thing as pure, it is always based on something, either on feelings that have not yet cooled down, or on some kind of benefit, which does not necessarily mean something material. For example, a man likes to communicate with his ex because she has a calming effect on him. But then another question arises, why does your partner seek solace not from you, but from a previous passion.

The psychologist's verdict is this: communication with the former, when there is no "connecting link" between them, is not normal. And this must be fought.

To start new girl you need to find out for what purpose her man meets with the former. Gently, without unnecessary emotions, several times, “approaching” from different sides, ask the same question. There should be some time between questions. If a man always gives the same answer, then his current lady needs to think why she cannot give her chosen one what the former gives him. We must try to correct the situation.

If the answers are different, then the man is probably deceiving you. And, most likely, his meetings with the former.

You can also call a man for a frank conversation and explain to him that you are uncomfortable with his communication with the former. It is possible that your chosen one did not even naively suspect this and for the sake of you will break with his past.

Internet does not count?

Often communication with the former takes place on the Internet. Often, men, in response to claims voiced by a new woman about this, are asked not to make an elephant out of a molehill, because "it's just the Internet."

There is a very thin line here, and situations are different, notes Elena Kuznetsova. She is sure that if a man loves his woman, he will not hurt her. Or if he sees that the current woman is jealous, he will try to explain the situation. He will show the correspondence, from which it is clear that they rarely communicate with the former, they simply congratulate each other on the holiday, for example.

Another thing is that a man denies everything, and he disappears on the Internet in the evenings, and communication with his ex is very tight. And even if we are not talking about real, but about virtual relationships, emotionally he is still with the other. With a real woman, he can be, for example, for the sake of a bed or "pots".

“It sounds funny, but in this situation, a real woman is even in a less advantageous situation than a virtual one, with whom a man lives internally and shares his impressions. If a man behaves like this, then he is bored with his new woman. He does not get what he gets from the previous chosen one, ”says the psychologist.

A new girl needs to think more about her man in order to first force out and then replace her virtual girlfriend, because interesting communication is rare. Just do not use assertive tactics under any circumstances if we are talking about a normal man, and not. Rigidity can simply lead to a break, because your chosen one has already preferred another woman in terms of communication. And if a woman, less interesting in this regard, sets her own conditions, the man gets angry and says: “Don’t be hysterical, don’t invent something that doesn’t exist” - that is, he is already setting up blockers. If a woman continues to beat on a locked door, she faces even more aggression.

If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected]

There can be many reasons for breaking up relationships, but there are only two options for breaking up: in a good way and in a bad way. This is the main vector that determines how to build relationships with the former further.

Consider the main options for relationships with ex-lovers:

• Friendship. "Top aerobatics" of communication "after". According to psychologists, the ability to maintain good relations with former partners is a sign of the psychological maturity of a person. But even here there are pitfalls: often the basis for friendships is the hope of restoring closer communication. You need to remember this and not feed such hopes if attempt No. 2 is not your plan. In this case, it is recommended to either adjust your behavior in an absolutely neutral direction, or reduce meetings to a minimum. You should not choose this method of communication if only you are interested in restoring relations: imposing is not the best method to return feelings. In addition, if you are already in a new relationship and intend to maintain it, take into account the partner's opinion on this matter. Not all men approve of even the most innocent relationship with ex-boyfriend or husband.
• friendly relations. An ideal variant of communication between the former, who have no claims against each other and have no illusions. In this case, periodic communication, interest (within the decent) in life or seeking help from the former does not pose a threat to new relationships or is not an obstacle to them. Although everything may not be smooth here, and under the guise of a friend, there may still be a hope to restore his status as an ex-lover.
• Communication "under duress". Most often, this path of events occurs when there is a link between the former even after parting. It can be a common business, children, social circle or work. That is, circumstances force communication. Of course, if the prospect of seeing your “ex” often is unacceptable for your nervous system, you can change jobs, split your business, or reconsider your social circle. Children remain an exception here - your relationship with your ex-husband should not injure them. But you do not have the right to limit their communication with the father, except in cases where he is deprived of parental rights or the children themselves do not want to see him. If you didn’t manage to stay friends or friends, find a compromise in the form of “dad days” and try not to talk bad about him.
• Sex without obligation. This communication option can be chosen if it is impossible to live together, but sometimes you can sleep. At the same time, on the one hand, good sex with a proven partner without any obligations, on the other hand, attachment, even just sexual, to the former greatly complicates the process of building new relationships. In addition, an open relationship can be perceived as such only by one of the partners, while the other can use this situation for a “comeback”.
• No communication at all. This type of relationship after a breakup is chosen when there is no turning back. The easiest way is to “burn bridges” when circumstances make it possible to exclude any contact with the former: moving to another city or another area, changing jobs, mobile numbers and places of possible intersection (common living space, company, places of recreation and entertainment, etc.). The absence of common children and godchildren also greatly simplifies the process of complete “renewal”. It is important to remember here that games of isolation as revenge are inappropriate. If you are determined to “zero out” your personal status and start life from scratch, notify your ex right away. There is no need to give hope if it has no chance of being realized.
• War. The worst option available. Unfortunately, this method of communication is most often resorted to by partners who cannot forgive an offense and do not want to voluntarily die once loving person. Moreover, they can “poison” the life of the former (or former) both by open “combat” actions and by the method of the cold war. This option is dangerous because love for children, intimate moments can be chosen as a weapon. life together, material dependence and even a simple feeling of pity. All this not only morally exhausts both participants in the “battle”, but also reduces the possibility of reconciliation to zero.

And one more authoritative opinion of psychologists: the main thing that will help to make the right choice of the relationship between the former is time. Immediately after the breakup, take a “time out” in communication: this will help determine the correctness of the decision made and understand what relationship tactics to choose in the future. It will also protect against emotional reactions, the consequences of which are often irreparable.

How to reconnect with an ex

Despite the fact that the statistics of the success of restoring relations between former spouses is not so comforting (according to research by American psychologists, only about 10% of remarriages are successful), one should not reject an attempt to regain former happiness. At least, if there are no prerequisites for the absolute failure of such an event.

Such prerequisites may be unacceptable habits or character traits that have not changed and will not change (both for him and for you), lack of feelings for the former (or for him for you), etc. Also, you should not have illusions about new happiness with a delinquent ex-lover if you cannot forgive and not remember his misdeeds.

Now let's move on to what needs to be done to "glue the cup" of relationships again:

1. Conduct a thorough self-analysis, the purpose of which is your true relationship with the former. Look inside yourself: do you really want a reunion, is there a chance to prevent a second break. It is important to understand that it is impossible to radically change an adult man who has taken place. You can influence some moments and correct the model of behavior, but it will not work to make another person out of it. And if some act or habit of a man was the reason for the breakup, think about whether you are ready to face the same problem again.
2. Keep your emotions under control. Do not let the longing for the former go out in the presence of others, even if it is very bad. Smile, laugh, share your optimism - everyone should know that everything is fine with you. Especially him. Therefore, leave tears for the pillow and the most trusted girlfriend. But you should not overdo it either: hysterical laughter with sadness in the eyes looks at least not aesthetically pleasing.
3. Go back to the past. Or rather, in those days when your relationship was just gaining momentum. Remember what you were then, what most attracted him to you. Return that carefree (cheerful, kind, mischievous, playful, etc.) girl who once turned his head. Walk, chat, do what you love - be happy! Let him want to be there again and share this happiness with you. Indeed, often the routine of relationships erases this beautiful image from us, and feelings are erased with it.
4. Be considerate and friendly. If you manage to maintain a good relationship after a breakup, try to gently develop them. You can periodically meet (with or without friends), go to the cinema or cafe, discuss interesting topics and events, help each other. Pleasant memories from your past relationships are very effective in refreshing feelings: acquaintance, first kiss, comical moments or interesting adventures. Be interested in his life, give advice (if he needs them). If you were the reason for the breakup, do everything to improve and so that he sees these corrections. But the main thing - do not be intrusive until he himself is ready for more.

Important! Before establishing communication with the former, analyze his actions and attitude towards you. If he makes contact, is sincerely interested in you and everything that happens in your life, does not refuse help and does not avoid communication - there is every chance of success. Otherwise, it is better to direct all efforts to new, more promising relationships.

The main prohibitions in relations with the former

If you still decide to change your anger to mercy or vice versa, are not going to give up your happiness to another and want to restore relationships, remember the behaviors that may interfere with the implementation of your plans:

• . Ignoring his presence, being rude and hysterical are steps that will only distance you from reuniting with your ex-lover. Especially the showdown, including in public, on the phone and not quite sober. Controlling your feelings of jealousy will require special attention. Especially if the ex started a new relationship (or this new relationship caused the breakup). In this case, no discussion of the opponent and zealous attacks in his direction. You are grace and attraction itself. If he is still alone, you should not go to the other extreme and, regretting, constantly remind him of this.
• Poor Juliet. Another way that women resort to to get back in touch with an ex is pity. Or rather, behavior that is aimed at arousing pity in a man. Constantly letting your ex know how hard, lonely, and troubled you are can put you in the status of a liability. Although the goal was simply to show how much you need it. Moreover, you can not blame him for your troubles.
• Indefatigable activist. Excessive activity is also unacceptable - limit your interest in his life to the measures of decency. You do not need to offer him your service in any form (cooking, cleaning, washing, treatment, etc.), arguing such services by the fact that he is lonely, and it’s not at all difficult for you. The same applies to frequent phone calls - control is no longer appropriate. Moreover, you should not try to tie him to yourself with financial “ties”, work or business, you will either receive aggression in response, or you will pull everything on yourself.
• "Kind fairy. Do not hide your anger or resentment from him, he should know that at this stage you are not experiencing the most positive feelings for him. "Pronounce" these emotions - with a psychologist, friends, relatives. If you can't say it to his face, write a letter. If you can't send it to him, just burn it. The main thing is to let these feelings out, to live them. Therefore, it is a big mistake to put on a mask of a friendly and caring person if resentment gnaws inside.

How to communicate with an ex - look at the video:

is a complex topic. There is no consensus on this issue. Some women categorically state: “I don’t want to communicate with my ex-husband”, while others, on the contrary, stubbornly seek meetings.

Practice shows that in most cases, after the relationship between the ex-spouses, they only get worse. It is rather an exception that only proves the rule.

So, how to behave after a divorce: completely distance yourself from the “past life”, try to act as if nothing had happened, or maintain a politely cold neutrality?

Why do most women not want to communicate with ex-husbands?

Most women believe that the only good reason for communicating with the "former" is children. Parents can divorce, but they must. But in this case, they keep all conversations to a minimum.

Relationships are purely business-like. There are several reasons for this:

This is just the opinion of some women who have experienced the destruction of the family. But it, like any other, has the right to life.

Is it worth trying to improve communication after a divorce?

Divorce inevitably entails a lot of questions, one more difficult than the other. Whether to congratulate the "former" and his relatives on the holidays? Should I call my ex-mother-in-law? These are just some of the problems, and they are not the most tricky ones to be solved.

Here are two extremes. Some women completely stop all communication with former relatives, while others, on the contrary, do their best to “save face” and pretend that nothing special has happened. Like all extremes, both options cannot be called correct.

In the first case, it must be remembered that passions subside sooner or later. Life is slowly getting back on track. Seething emotions are replaced by painful remorse for the fact that you caused a lot of unpleasant minutes to a variety of people.

Moreover, most of them have nothing to do with your family disasters. In addition, there is a risk that the people you offended will begin to "befriend you." For example, if you have to resolve some issues through the courts, their testimony will most likely not be in your favor.

Therefore, if something like this is to come, it is better not to anger potential enemies. Only when everything is behind, it is possible to finally decide the question of the expediency of communication.

Oddly enough, similar advice would be for those who are trying to make contacts out of courtesy. Stop all communication at first. Divorce is not easy, and no one will judge you for such behavior. Your own peace of mind is much more important.

After the first, most painful year has passed, you will be able to objectively figure out which of the people you would like to continue a relationship with, and who you don’t want to hear about.

It is highly likely that both the ex-husband and his relatives, after a year after the dissolution of the marriage, will not mind resuming communication. If the ex-spouse is unpleasant for you, no one will force you to meet or talk with him.

How to communicate with an ex-husband who betrayed: advice from a psychologist?

It also happens that communication with is inevitable. First of all, if the former. And sometimes a woman certainly wants to restore family relationships and try to start all over again.

If there are common children

There are former spouses, but there are no former dads and moms. Both of the divorced spouses are the parents of the child, and no one canceled participation in his upbringing. As a rule, with the mother, so she has to make decisions.

Don't turn the child against the father. At the same time, serious work needs to be done with dad and explain to him so that he does not try to manipulate the child and make him his supporter.

Now about how to communicate, because mental wounds have not yet healed, and when this will happen is unknown:

• talk only about the child. Do not carry on conversations on extraneous topics, even if the ex-husband tries to do so. Don't waste your energy on a person you don't like;
• distance yourself emotionally. Maintain a polite coldness;
• be impenetrable to the "ex". You may still love him, but he shouldn't feel that way. The less he knows about you, the better. Gossip doesn't count;
• do not ask questions about the father to the child;
• don't say nasty things in front of a child about his father. He loves both parents. Attempting such manipulations does not lead to anything good.

This is the only way you can finally let go of the old relationship. Otherwise, it will not be easy to get out of the emotional funnel.

If you want to return your spouse to the family

Before undertaking, try to honestly answer the question: do you need it? If both ex-spouses are not infantile people who easily change their opinions and decisions, it will be impossible to restore the former love ardor.

It is more likely to be about friendships or business relationships. If you remained close people after the breakup, then why not try.

But the woman will have to act alone, since this is her initiative. You will have to work on your behavior and nothing more. How to change for the better depends on the specific situation, and there can be no universal recipe.

However, there are rules from the "what should not be" series. Here they are:

• don't beg your husband to come back. Tantrums will only push him away from you;
• accusations and reproaches must be done away with. Both are to blame for the divorce, and finding out who is more is not an option;
• the man makes it clear that now there can only be sex between you? Do not hope for the restoration of the family. Useless;
• do not try to cause jealousy. A much smarter solution is to talk to the "ex" and convince him that you are ready to work on yourself.

As you can see, there are many options. You may find something in this article useful. In any case, work on yourself. Divorce is a difficult and painful process, but in any case, you need to learn useful lessons for yourself.

Married couples often experience relationship crises associated with certain periods and events, such as the first year family life, birth of a child. At these moments, the relationship between husband and wife becomes extremely tense, spouses often quarrel. Sometimes people cannot cope with problems and find no other way out than divorce.

Most often, a man becomes the initiator of a divorce, it is usually more difficult for a woman to decide on such a step, especially when the couple has common children. In the process of dissolution of marriage and after it, women experience very strong pain from the loss of a loved one. The advice of experienced family psychologists helps them survive a divorce and begin to enjoy life.

Why are women so upset about divorce?

Practice shows that women experience a divorce in court more difficult than men, especially when the reason for the gap is male infidelity. The appearance of a rival leads to the fact that a woman becomes insecure, she has complexes associated with her own appearance. As a result of such reflections, the level of her self-esteem is greatly reduced, which greatly aggravates the situation.

Another circumstance that enhances women's experiences is a change in the usual environment. After the termination of the relationship, the ex-husband collects things and changes his place of residence. The apartment is empty, the return to the house, where no one is waiting, suggests thoughts of loneliness and failure. The social circle is changing, a woman can no longer visit companies where her ex-husband is present.

Conversations with relatives every time make a woman experience unpleasant emotions and remember the divorce. If there are small children in the family, then they also experience severe stress, often cry, ask questions about their father, why he left and when he will return. These questions provoke the occurrence of severe depression in a woman. Dealing with emotions without the help of a specialist is extremely difficult.

The loss is especially acute for those women who have experienced sincere and deep feelings towards their other half. In this case, the wife devotes her whole life to her family and husband, considers him a friend and closest person. The help of a psychologist to such women is required to a greater extent.

Complicating the situation is the increasing degree of responsibility for the upbringing of children. After a divorce in court, the kids, as a rule, stay with their mother, so she has to build her life, taking into account the fact that all care for the children now lies on her shoulders. Men, on the contrary, have a lot of free time after parting, so they can afford all kinds of entertainment and meetings with friends.

How to deal with your husband after a breakup?

After the official dissolution of a marriage in court, people prefer not to meet, so as not to remember the stress they experienced. When former spouses have children, they cannot avoid communication. Babies need to see their father in order to keep in touch with him.

Children should not think that he left the family and abandoned them, that he no longer needs them. Moreover, it is impossible to allow the child to consider himself guilty of the divorce of his parents.

In this case, a man and a woman have to learn to communicate at a new level. First of all, you should get rid of mutual claims, you should not say hurtful words to each other. You need to mentally prepare for each meeting, set yourself up for positive communication so that the children do not feel tension and do not see mom and dad swearing. A negative attitude prevents a woman from building new relationships.

Women often ask what are the ways to get rid of negative thoughts. Psychologists advise using various methods for this, for example, you can write all the claims on a piece of paper, addressing them to your ex-husband. You don’t need to give him this sheet, the main thing is that in this way the woman has the opportunity to speak out, while she does not have to talk with her husband.

Another effective way to get rid of destructive emotions is to make plans for the future. If you imagine what can be achieved in life without the restrictions associated with the presence of a husband, then there will be a new incentive in life, there will be no need to think about the past and feel sorry for yourself.

When thoughts and feelings are under control, a woman begins to behave correctly with former spouse. From that moment on, the obstacles to building friendships disappear. If the spouses were connected not only by relationships, but also by business, then gradually, you can forget about grievances and become good partners.

What should not be done?

Psychologists dealing with family relations insist that a woman after a divorce should not withdraw into herself and hide her feelings so as not to feel unwanted and forgotten by everyone.

Throwing out negativity on others, including the ex-husband, all the more should not be. Despite the advice of experts, many ladies who are going through a breakup with their husbands make mistakes that deprive them of self-esteem and complicate the situation:

How to return to normal life?

The main task of any person who has survived a breakup with a spouse is to return to normal life as soon as possible. Tips from psychologists to help you quickly restore your emotional state:

• Get rid of old things. We are talking about those items that you bought together with your husband. These things will daily remind you of the past. Throw away or give someone old souvenirs, books, household items. As soon as they cease to catch your eye, you will feel how much easier it will be to live.
• Start the renovation. Change the wallpaper, rearrange the furniture, buy new things for the house. This is a great way to escape from obsessive thoughts and equip your apartment in a new way.
• Change your hairstyle. External renewal will serve as a good impetus for internal changes.
• Get a pet. This is a good way to switch your attention and give love and care to someone who loves you back.
• Sign up for a gym. Engage in improving your figure. Your own attractiveness will help increase the level of self-esteem.
• Take a trip. New experiences are the best cure for depression