My love story began when I was 22 years old. After graduating from university, I got a job in a large company, at work I met a man who immediately began to show signs of attention to me. A year later, he invited me on a date.
That day I was so bored, and I decided to go on a date with him, then I didn’t even think that I would start dating him, as a man he didn’t attract me so much, at that moment I liked another young man . After a friendly date, he began to seek me, gave me flowers, wrote SMS from 6:00 in the morning. And he took care of me for a whole year. I've always been shy about him, and he's 15 years older than me. He told me very little about his life, I slowly began to get used to him, he gave me good advice. site When I was 23 years old, he offered to marry him. I immediately refused, said that I was not ready, and that I did not plan to get married for the next 2 years.
Initially, I was honest with him, I told him that I was not going to meet with him, but he did not lag behind, he came every day, it happened that he did not want to see him, but he still came and sat under the window. So another year passed, and we started dating, and I decided to change jobs, because I could not work with him because of our relationship. I don't know if it was love for me or already that I'm used to it. When we started dating him seriously, he said that he had his first marriage, had a daughter, and had been divorced from his wife for more than 10 years. After 1.5 years I became pregnant, then we did not live together yet. The man immediately changed after this news that he would have a child, he began to arrogantly behave with me, began to swear with me, and we decided to get married with him.
As soon as I moved in with him, he started arguing with me, saying that I eat a lot, that I don’t save light, that I don’t let him sleep, that I go to the toilet all night. So we started having scandals every day, I became the most terrible for him, he humiliated me, it came to (fights) and then I was in a position. I don’t know why he changed so much, after another scandal, I went to my parents. His father said: "It's okay, he always has such breakdowns, sometimes he becomes unbalanced." This was what his father said. Later he came for me, we reconciled, he said that I was taking him out myself, although the opposite was true and he always blamed me.
For the sake of the child, I decided to make peace with him, but asked me to stay with my parents, he agreed. I gave birth to a daughter, and he was waiting for his son, he was unhappy that a daughter was born. I was so hurt and hurt, I didn't know what to do. I arrived from the hospital and it all started back. Scandals began, the child annoyed him, he went to the site to spend the night with friends, because his daughter was crying and did not let him sleep. I endured, was silent, but everything got worse. His father began to intervene, saying that I was expelling his son, and he was staying with friends for the night. He complained to his relatives that I was not so good, there were a lot of unpleasant things, and when my daughter was 2 months old, I left him. I expected him to help our child, but he did not help and did not ask how his child was, what she needed. So six months passed, not a call, nothing from him, and I filed for alimony. Until recently, I hoped that he was an adult man who is over 40 years old and would cherish the child, but I was wrong.
After I started receiving alimony, the father of the child showed up and began to say that he loved me and my daughter, that he needed a family. It hurts me that he did not want to see how his child grows: the first teeth, the first words, the first steps, he did not see anything and did not ask. Now my beloved daughter is a year old, relatives of the site say that for the sake of the child it is necessary to save the family. I want a complete family. But I am disappointed in this man. Now a husband, I don’t even know if he’s worth calling him a husband, now he needs us, that he wants a family, asks me to officially refuse alimony, that he promises to help, and says that I spoiled him reputation. I don't know if I should get along with this person, but it hurts me a lot, I can't understand sincere words he has that he needs a family, or not.
On the day of the wedding, no one thinks about how the future life of the newlyweds will turn out. Everyone hopes for long and happy years together, but sometimes it turns out differently. At the stage of divorce, people often do not understand how they made the wrong choice, where they went wrong, why they trusted the person who betrayed. A difficult and painful path of “recovery”, getting used to and arranging a new life begins. But sometimes in a series of days something like another shake-up happens again, only this time it is not clear whether it is for the better or not - the husband wants to return to the family after his departure. How to make the right decision in this case, how to react?
Psychologists note that the return of a spouse after “all bridges have been burned” is a very painful and controversial issue. The reason for this is the separation that has already taken place, which was the result of his misconduct. If the husband reveals a desire to return, the wife often cannot understand whether this is good or bad, it is worth rejoicing or continuing to build her own new life without this person. Spouses remember everything that happened between them, and this burden of resentment and anger needs to be applied somewhere. In order to understand yourself, you need to do a simple thing.
Do not deceive yourself, you need to put the facts on paper. This will make it clear and convincing. There was something in your life that led to a breakup. No need to think that with the return of her husband, everything will return to normal before the moment problems arose. You need to concentrate and write everything that did not suit you in your husband during life together. It is best if he does the same, honestly and openly explaining to you your possible mistakes and mistakes. This is how you decide whether you can live with it or if it is worth changing and whether you are ready for change.
This is the first part of the work on oneself, which will lead to a partial answer to the question of what to do if the husband wants to return to the family.
The second part of the solution will be more complex. If at first you had to openly admit what does not suit you in your partner and him in you, then at the next stage you need to understand why you need to reunite and whether you need to at all.
A positive answer to the question of reunification is usually based on the following pros:
Analyze your own feelings and life before parting. Did the children feel good when their parents were on the verge of a divorce, how did you behave during this stressful period of time, can you provide for yourself?
The husband wants to return to the family: the opportunity to restore the cell of society, return the father to the children, resolve a long-growing conflict, a chance to improve life forever, get rid of tension, worries and mutual claimsThe main motive for family reunification should not be the desire of the husband to return, but why it is worth doing it. If you understand the meaning of the situation, you will avoid a period when you will constantly want to pry or “prick” your spouse. You will be able to clearly understand what issues are important to you, and what troubles you can bypass and not swear.
If you do not understand why you returned everything that was, then ugly and unpleasant situations are possible. You will again not trust, suspect that in the end it will weaken you and lead to the same parting. Do you need these negative emotions and stress again?
Sometimes, deceiving yourself, you will believe that the family needs to be reunited, but in fact you will feel disgusting in it. You will understand that there is nothing that was the basis of a life together that cannot revive feelings. The result in this case will be similar to the previous situation.
Do the necessary and important thing - think. Try to disengage from good memories and sentimental moments. Weigh all the pros and cons.
You need to understand that everything that will be created by you after parting, everything will be different. It happens because you have already experienced serious problems, it will remain with you for life. You looked at each other differently, you are already different people. Based on the previous review, there are many things you need to discuss:
Reunification in this case is a mutual work. Nothing will work, if only one side will work. If you perceive your husband as guilty and earning forgiveness, you will not be able to create anything but a temporary union, the fate of which is deplorable.
If the husband wants to return to the family, this does not mean that you need to accept him favorably and then point out his act all the time. This will not achieve anything, just amuse a little pride. In addition, it may provoke new quarrels.
Remember that the main thing is not to be under the same roof again. The most important and difficult thing is to understand if you need it, if you want to live with this person again. Be honest with yourself, do not look for the reason in children or money. Constant quarrels and reproaches are not the best atmosphere for children. You should also not be guided by public opinion. Everyone has the right to happiness, and if you are not happy at the thought that your husband wants to return to the family, then you do not need to force yourself to look happy. Only you can take responsibility for deciding how your future life will turn out.
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Often there are such cases when a break with a beloved man has long taken place and only memories remain, but any person will be taken by surprise by a situation when a person breaks into life again, deciding to start a relationship anew. But why does this happen, what happens in a man’s head, and is it worth trusting such a relationship? Will a man return if he left himself - the psychology of men will help you figure it out.
Divorce today is not uncommon, people break up quite often. There are many reasons for this, from banal everyday problems to treason.
Some women, after parting, try to forget about past relationships and quickly arrange a new life, others fall into despondency and despair, and still others sit and wait for the man to change his mind and return to the family.
But it is worth mentioning the first moment when a woman believes that in any case she will no longer contact her former loved one. Later, after some time, feelings calm down, and then regret comes, after which women ask themselves: do ex-husbands return to their wives?
75% of men return
As practice has shown, ex-husbands are really inclined to return to the family.
However, in such a situation, the woman has yet to find out how appropriate this is.
Many male representatives often prefer to take a break in order to collect their thoughts, understand themselves, understand their own desires and intentions of a woman.
They tend to analyze what happened, remember good moments with their beloved, regret some times, feel nostalgic. As a result of this, most often there is a desire to renew the relationship.
After a thorough analysis, and sometimes even immediately, a man begins to make a plan for the return of his beloved.
Young guys are prone to dreary feelings about the loss of their former relationship and their girlfriend. There are moments when the realization of confusion comes, questions arise about whether it is worth renewing the old ties. In the event that during this time a woman has a new lover, jealousy kills feelings.
A feeling of resentment arises only in those cases when the woman was the initiator of the break in relations, or because of her betrayal.
Watch the video. How to get your ex back?
Initially, you should understand the reasons for such a categorical act of the second half.
Let's try to analyze:
A man after a breakup tries to occupy himself in order to cope with negative thoughts about an ex-girlfriend. Most often, time is spent with old friends, new hobbies and acquaintances are made, a person tries to immerse himself in work and sports.
A lot of men deceive themselves, try to prove that the feelings for the former have already disappeared and deny the desire to return. Most often, such men are looking for new sensations in sex, thereby trying to immerse themselves in relationships and forget their beloved. Not everyone succeeds.
There are also persistent men who immediately try to seek meetings with ex-girlfriend, they tend to constantly call, send messages. It is not uncommon for a former lover to try to attract attention with gifts or flowers, even if he did not do this before or did it very rarely. Such factors indicate the desire of the stronger sex to restore relations.
In cases where jealousy occurs, the person may resort to threats or harassment.
If you have mutual friends or acquaintances, the young man may ask for their assistance in reviving the old relationship.
The men have sorted out the signs of the return a little, but the facts say that the man will not return back?
The former returns in those cases when he realizes that he has lost, and this is a good option for a woman. However, not as common as one would like. But if the husband found solace in the arms of a rival, then he has no good reasons to remember his past life.
It is worth paying special attention to men who break all ties and leave their families for a long time, and upon their return they promise mountains of opportunities and happiness. Surprisingly, this often happens when a woman is already in a relationship, and even preparing to get married.
The reason for this is simple: a young man, noticing that his ex-lover is setting up his own life, while not everything is going smoothly for himself, is simply jealous. After all, this should not happen, after him she should put an end to any relationship. The result - all promises and courtship are created for only one purpose - to upset a new romance.
Having trusted such a person, a woman usually regrets what she has done, because after taking a man back, he does not linger for a long time.
There are also situations when the ex-spouse does not call, cuts off all ties and disappears from view. And suddenly, suddenly and unexpectedly, a phone call is heard in which the man begins to reminisce and say how good they were together. Perhaps he really realized all the mistakes and is ready to correct himself, to return everything in the best possible way. But as practice shows - the probability of this is extremely small.
This may also indicate that he simply needs a temporary shelter. A man may start calling all his ex-girlfriends in the hope that someone will shelter him for a while.
In the case when a man is in the company of another lady, and he is about to return, this indicates a desire to escape from a new mistress. The explanation is simple: when you see a girl furtively, it captures, gives a share of adrenaline and new impressions.
However, when you live in the same house - it's completely different. A person is best known in the domestic sphere. At a certain point, it turns out that a sweet stranger has become a part of everyday life, and a former lover is much more dear to a man.
There are several reasons for the return of a man to the family. Since the psychology of personality is configured individually, it is necessary to take everything apart. The role of the chosen one in the life of a man is quite large, which is why, because of the feeling of discomfort, they most often return.
Truth is known in comparison. So, having lived and realizing that the ex-wife was in all respects better than the new chosen one, many decide to return.
It can be quite difficult for strong representatives of humanity to immediately understand that the former life was better than now, the same applies to feelings. If the man admits that they were strong enough, the relationship can resume.
These were the main types of reasons, judging by which we can say that the man will surely return. But psychology is a rather serious science and has not been fully studied. Therefore, it can be assumed that it will not be so easy to resume the previous relationship, because there are exactly as many reasons for leaving the family as there are personal interests, views on life. However, by examining the possible reasons for the return, certain clues can be found.
Watch the video. What to do if you broke up? First steps.
If a man calls and turns to mutual acquaintances, then he definitely wants to be in a woman's life. He can take certain actions. An example is the interest in the everyday problems of a woman: the desire to check the light bulbs in the house or other electrical appliances, help with shopping and other daily worries.
It is worth remembering that such an initiative is considered important only if the man shows it on his own, and does not just do what he was asked to do. This is also due to the fact that not only helping the former passion, but also good education plays a big role.
Another factor that testifies to the really desperate attempts of a man to return to the family is the awareness and recognition of his own mistakes made in the past. The person who is trying to step on the path already traveled will be able to draw conclusions, understand how it was not worth behaving.
At this moment, a man can do things that are unusual for him, thus showing that he is really trying to win the woman back. It does not even depend on whose initiative played a role in breaking off relations. Only a man who truly wants to return to his family is ready to change in order to stay.
It is worth considering also such individuals who, after living for some time with another woman, return to former family in the hope that they will be welcomed with open arms just because they wanted to.
Such people, having appeared on the threshold, expect that they will be loved and certainly accepted. They are too narcissistic, self-confident, and believe that their mere presence can pity anyone. It is worth immediately running away from such men, because once they have done such an act, they will understand that they can leave again and also return.
Another clear sign of the desire to return to the family is the initiative to talk. You should carefully consider the silent people - those individuals who hide their plans for the future and their own feelings. This means that the man himself has not yet decided what he wants from his ex-wife.
7 out of 10 men can't talk about feelings
The representative of the stronger sex cannot always directly say what he thinks, mostly it can be hints or reservations. It directly depends on who is essentially a man: if he is a proud person, then it is difficult for him to immediately admit his own mistakes.
There are also personalities who are like a "dog in the manger." They only come back because they don't want to see ex woman with someone else.
If you want to know if the departed man will return, you can use fortune telling. Consider a simple and truthful way to find out what the future holds for you.
For divination, you will need a playing deck of 36 cards. The king for the layout is chosen based on the fact that for young guy a heart suit is suitable, and for an adult, a club suit. A lady is chosen in a similar way: for a girl - a diamond, for a woman - a club.
Then, saying the name of the person who corresponds to the selected card, you need to touch the card with your finger.
When laying out the cards, it is necessary to repeat to yourself: “Fate favors - it will unite together, if it does not deign, it will separate the couple.”
The deck is shuffled with the left hand, and then shifted from the middle towards the heart. You can start scheduling. Lay out the cards face up, 9 cards in a row. If identical cards are found, they are removed, since they are no longer needed.
The conceived cards from the layout are in no case removed, even if there are paired ones nearby. If the same ones are found in the vertical row, they are also set aside. Cards are laid out on empty places strictly from right to left from the beginning of the layout.
Immediately after the same cards have been removed from all rows, it is worth looking to see if the hidden queen is next to the king. In the event that they are nearby, you can expect that your loved one will return. In the case when the hidden card is at the beginning of the layout, expect a quick wedding.
It is worth being careful if there are others between the cards conceived, it is they who will tell about the reasons that prevent them from being together. If it is found that there are more than three cards between the king and the queen, this means that the hidden people will not be together, and if they are, then many obstacles await them.
Watch the video. What if he quit?
The following cards can be a hindrance:
It is necessary to pay attention to interfering cards. If the suit coincided with the girl’s card, you need to look at yourself, otherwise, look at the man.
For both people, the Queen of Spades is a sign of a femme fatale with great energy.
Is there a red suit nearby? Do not despair, because love will overcome everything, and in the case of a black one, you can get unexpected help.
Before understanding the reasons for divorce, psychologists most often recommend understanding yourself and the feelings that unite people. It can be financial dependence, fear of loneliness, common desires and goals, and other factors. It is worth understanding whether people love each other and whether they are ready to forgive insults, changing for the better.
The next step is to remember the life lived, starting from the very beginning. It is worth recalling the days of acquaintance, the first date, the day of the wedding and the beginning of a life together. How much time has passed since then? To compare real relationships, it is important to recall in memory the initial periods of joint family life. We need to try to find out what has changed during this time.
It is extremely important to maintain contact with a man. This is especially true for those who have children together. The first step towards reconciliation can be meeting with children on the territory of a woman. Thanks to this, you can often see a man and he will naturally pay attention to it.
Also, don't give up on the idea of asking for help around the house. An important role is played by communication with relatives, friends of a man.
Patience is the main weapon if you want to get your ex back. At first, a man who has gone to another family will not notice you, so you need to put up with it. On new girl all attention will be thrown. But over time, such a relationship will pass, and the man will begin to analyze.
It is important to know here that relationships will not just have to be renewed - they are built from scratch. There is one psychological technique using a sheet of paper divided into two parts. On the one hand, positive traits of one's own character fit in, and on the opposite side, negative ones. Thanks to the awareness of what was written, in the future it is important to exclude what is reflected in the second half of the sheet.
If you want to return a man, you should not show weakness. You can not use tears and tantrums, ask to return home. When meeting, you need to behave more restrained, enjoy life. The main thing is to make it clear that things are going great without a man.
The reasons for a divorce from a husband can be completely different circumstances: from his infidelity to unwillingness to provide for the family. The initiator of the separation is most often women, but sometimes men. In this case, the fair sex is very hard going through the gap, secretly hoping that things can still get better. But how to understand what he thinks ex-husband when he constantly finds a reason to talk, meet or come to visit. Is it possible to trust him and whether he will betray again. Photo: how to understand an ex-husband How to understand an ex. What he wants After parting, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other ceases. Each of them needs time to recover, get used to the changes that have taken place in life, analyze everything that has happened, understand themselves.
If she changes, or if he forgives her, or if he fails there. But this is deception. Rather, even self-deception. Therefore, there is no need to look for evidence that he is considering the option of returning. The only confirmation that the husband is considering the option of family reunification can only be an open statement: “I need to sort myself out.
Often a woman does not even notice that every day she devotes less and less time to her spouse. Household chores, a child, meetings with friends and parents take away all your free time. It simply does not remain for love. And in this situation, the man begins to look for warmth and understanding on the side.
A young family should always live separately, but, unfortunately, not all people have the opportunity to buy their own apartment. When the newlyweds live with their parents, constant quarrels begin between them. The older generation is trying to teach children how to live and constantly intervenes in their problems.
To endure this for a long time, many do not have the strength.
Why men are looking for love on the side We have learned why the representatives of the stronger sex leave the family.
Attention
Others, the bulk of those who return, and, moreover, return much faster than one can imagine, are spineless gigolos and sticky people who live for themselves. One didn’t like it (or he didn’t please her, a kick in the ass), back to his wife until he clings to the other and such a whirlwind until the male charm ends in old age, as they say buttercups withered.
Important
All of your belongings and/or gifts are returned It's usually difficult to get things back after a breakup if you still love the person, because that means letting them go forever. That's why if your ex gives you back what you gave him, returns the photo and your personal things, it may be a sign that he has already let you go.
If after a few weeks or months you are still doing everything to get him back, but he doesn't seem to care about it, then you better stop. You are only wasting time. If the person still wants you back, they won't ignore you for a long time because they can't take the fact of breaking up with you for granted.
That is, he may not need you at all, he simply cannot bear to think that you will be with someone else. How to Help Your Ex Get Back If you're sure you want your ex back, don't play cat and mouse with him. Be sincere and open. A man should feel that you have forgiven him (and this is very difficult, because resentment does not just go away). And since a man first of all loves with his eyes, then you should meet him every time with a smile and a dazzling appearance - well-groomed hands, beautiful clothes, elegant hair and makeup. And under no circumstances should you complain about your life. The only thing you can afford is to hint to a man that you feel bad or hard without him.
But to hint.
You might think that we women are perfectly perfect creatures who never make mistakes and have sex absolutely flawlessly. So. Don't be fooled! Women also do things that their partners don't like. That's what we'll talk about today. sex sex partner bed man sex men men time of error You are tormented by vague doubts, gradually turning into a firm conviction: your man is cheating on you! But is it really so? How not to make a mistake, how not to accept groundless jealousy and fear of being abandoned for the already accomplished fact of a man's infidelity? How to recognize treason? And the most important thing that interests many women is how to prevent it or, if it has happened, how to forgive? And should she be forgiven? That's what we'll talk about today.
If a man says that he wants to return everything, that he wants to return and be with you, and in the meantime he prefers to spend time not with you, but with his friends, at work or in a sports club, that is, he does not put your interests above his own. In this case, he only cares about his own comfort, and he wants to return to you precisely because you are part of a comfortable life (clean shirts, hot food, regular sex). This is a manifestation of selfishness, and we are not talking about any love here by definition. He does not want to return to you, he does not care who will be there, just not to be lonely and unkempt. In general, the issue of return former man- a slippery question. On the one hand, maybe fate gives you both a second chance for happiness, and if you use it, nothing will separate you.
But on the other hand, according to statistics, only 1 out of 20 couples after reunification live together for more than 3 years.
After carefully reading this article, you will surely understand that the ex-husband wants to return to the family. How does he behave in such cases? Now I will tell everything. Many men are blunt about this. Knowing you as flaky, they are looking for a tricky approach, penetrating into your heart through the channels of pity.
The phone rings, and when your current husband is hunchbacked at work. - How are you, but I, I don’t know why, I decided to dial your number. - Hands convulsively reach for the phone, and the soul - to you. - Tell me at least how you live, do you regret anything? - Marin, you will never become an ex for me. Bye. After a telephone conversation, you, like all normal women, will begin to remember. Only good. Then the ex-husband dares to meet you with flowers.
He perfectly remembers that you adore white roses.
