Divorce always brings negative emotions, worries and a lot of problems. The separation of the wife is hard. But, the situation becomes doubly difficult if there are common children. In this case, conflicts often arise. It's good if the spouses find mutual language, and in order to avoid trauma to the child's psyche, they calmly resolve the issue concerning the future fate of children. And what should a woman do if her husband threatens to take the child during a divorce? Let's talk in more detail how to adequately get out of the conflict, while not hurting the feelings of the baby.
Why do situations arise when children suffer when two adults divorce? Most often the reasons are as follows:
Often, despite the court decision, fathers begin to threaten ex-wives. As a manipulator, anything goes. It is terrible when children become a toy, a thing in solving divorce cases. The last argument in disputes is the husband's threat to take the children.
Should a wife be afraid of threats during a divorce? ex-spouse when they touch a common baby? This is possible in the following cases and is enshrined in law:
The court may decide not in favor of the mother, also under the following circumstances:
In all other cases, during a divorce, minor children most often remain to live with their mother. The father can visit the children at the time established by the court, or agreed with the former spouse.
In some conflict families, the husband talks about divorce at every quarrel. This is a kind of manipulation, the desire to stay in the family by any means. It is clear that a woman is afraid to be alone, especially if there are common children. She needs to cope with household and financial issues, which is difficult to be left without a husband. This is what the husband is counting on and constantly talks about divorce.
If the family situation has escalated to such an extent that divorce becomes the only right decision, try to calmly discuss the issue of children with your husband. Explain that by taking the baby to him, he will have little time that needs to be devoted to education. Moms are more patient when it comes to helping with schoolwork or solving any child's problems.
An important issue in the upbringing and maintenance of the baby is proper nutrition. Not every man can cook healthy and tasty food. Here you can’t get by with a pack of dumplings or semi-finished products from the store.
It is important to pay enough attention to children. When a husband constantly fears divorce and manipulates children, try to give him a reasonable explanation that this is unacceptable. Often quarrels with threats speak of the indecision of the husband. Thus, he tries to hide his insolvency. But, you can't tell him about it. In any conflict situation, insults and threats should be avoided.
If a husband threatens divorce, and at the same time beats his wife and children, call the police. This marriage is already doomed. It is advisable to find witnesses who will confirm cases of scandals in your family. Be sure to demand that protocols be drawn up when calling the police. They will come in handy in case of litigation.
If calm conversations do not help the husband calm down, then try to leave for a short time with the children. You can stay with your parents, live with a friend. It is possible that the spouse will calm down and stop showering you with threats. When all the actions taken do not work desired result, then you should really think about dissolution of the marriage.
In the event that a husband threatens an already elderly wife with a divorce and the fact that he will take away the child, you should not take this seriously. He can argue his claims by the age of his wife. But, all this is just threats and blackmail. If the mother fully copes with her parental duties, then the court will leave the children with her to be raised. And her age doesn't matter at all.
Constant quarrels in the family, increased aggressiveness of both parents is not the best option worthy example for children. Even if you do not get along with your husband, try to resolve controversial issues, avoiding the presence of the baby.
It happens that after threats, the husband really takes the child away in an unknown direction. In such a situation, you should immediately contact the police. Important: it is necessary to fight for the well-being and peace of mind of your children only with the help of relevant laws. Complete all police reports correctly. It is possible that they will come in handy in a divorce court.
Children love their parents equally. Do not allow a situation where a son or daughter faces a choice - father or mother. Don't tear his psyche apart. Often children transfer the family atmosphere to their later life when they themselves begin to build relationships.
A woman must understand that even after a divorce, the baby still needs a father. She should not interfere with the meetings of children with dad. You can negotiate this, both independently, having come to a certain decision, and in court. When the children turn 5, the court gives permission to the father to take them away for the weekend.
If the husband often drinks alcohol in excess, does not fulfill his obligations to the children when he is with them, then these moments must be recorded by the police, and then submitted to the court.
Probably every girl is faced with the problem of overweight? Indeed, sometimes it is not easy to lose weight, look slim and beautiful, remove the sides or stomach. Diets do not help, there is no strength and desire to go to the gym, or it does not bring tangible results.
If the husband threatens to take away the child after the divorce, then you should not immediately panic. He will definitely not be able to just take and keep a child for himself, since this will require an appropriate court decision, and an impressive number of good reasons for its adoption.
Despite the equal rights of both parents in relation to the child, the judicial practice in the Russian Federation is almost unambiguous - the vast majority of all divorces in the presence of children end with the child leaving the mother.
Cases where a child, on the basis of a court decision, remains after a divorce from his father are quite rare and are associated with a number of exceptional circumstances.
The father has every chance to count on leaving the child with him in the following cases:
If none of the listed signs is present in a particular situation, then the child’s mother should not be afraid of her husband’s threats - the court will almost never leave the child with him.
An additional guarantee of leaving the child with the mother will be the age of the baby - children of preschool age are transferred to the father only in the most exceptional cases.
Read more about who the children stay with after a divorce in a separate publication.
In cases where the father of the child is determined and regularly threatens to take the child after the divorce, it is recommended to proceed as follows:
It is very common for emotional men to threaten that they will be able to bribe the court or bribe guardianship officials, experts and other participants in the process of determining the place of residence of the child. Do not worry - even if there are any corrupt ties with key figures in the process, the father of the child can theoretically win the court of first instance by skillfully juggling the facts, only a well-written appeal and subsequent consideration of the case by a higher court will reduce his victory to a minimum. Contact a lawyer early if you feel you may lose your case.
Very often, a lawsuit to determine the place of residence of a child, especially if it involves a divorce in the presence of children, turns into a natural battle not for life, but to death. If there are no legal grounds for leaving the child with the father, all possible methods are used by the man, including immoral and frankly illegal ones.
Witnesses are invited to court who give slanderous evidence against the mother of the child, convicting her of an immoral lifestyle or reporting other negative facts. It is important to convey to the court an indication of the fact of a close family or friendly relationship between the father of the child and the invited witness, and also to focus on the absence of other evidence, except for unconfirmed words.
A counterargument to the statement of witnesses about the abuse of alcohol by the child's mother, for example, can be certificates and characteristics of the district or street committee at the place of residence.
Alas, in our time there was and remains a small, but still a real chance to find a corrupt way to an expert and achieve a fictitious conclusion. It is important to select only state-owned or highly experienced expert institutions for examination, in which the risk of corruption impact on experts will be minimal.
IMPORTANT: If the institution is chosen by the court at the request of the father of the child and a conclusion is received in his favor without sufficient grounds, be sure to insist on a re-examination in another institution.
If the mother has financial difficulties, and the father has free funds, then very often he begins to literally shower the child with gifts, things, gadgets, spend as much time as possible with him, allowing everything and everything, and, in fact, bribes the child's loyalty. This trick is especially easy with underage teenagers who are going through a transitional age.
It is logical that in this case, the mother quickly becomes almost an enemy for the minor, as a result of which the child in court declares his desire to live with his father. In this case, it is necessary to conduct a comprehensive psychological and psychiatric examination, as a result of which experts can easily establish the impact on the child.
In this article, we have reviewed only an approximate list of possible negative steps for a spouse who decides to keep a child after a divorce at all costs.
In all these cases, the help of an experienced lawyer is highly desirable, who can easily deal with such problems and help protect both the interests of the mother and the interests of the child.
In particular, the mother of a child whose husband is trying to take away will have to face the following problems:
Experienced lawyers of our site, if necessary, will help overcome all these difficulties in divorce cases with children and provide free legal advice on the most complex and important issues.
Therefore, contact our lawyer for a FREE consultation right now and get rid of problems in the future!
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home » Divorce » children » What to do if the ex-spouse threatens to take the child?
In a divorce, there is always a question about the upbringing of children. With whom will the children remain, and who will be involved in their upbringing. Former spouses begin to sort things out, not realizing that all this negatively affects children. In order to take revenge on their ex-wife, many are trying in every possible way to take the child to their upbringing.
Only some former spouses manage to peacefully resolve the issues of raising a joint child upon divorce.
All the good moments of a happy married life are immediately forgotten, the child and his full-fledged upbringing go by the wayside. There is resentment, pain, a thirst for revenge and to prove one's superiority.
Very good when ex-husband continues to communicate with the child by mutual agreement with the mother. He can meet and educate at any time, as long as it is for the benefit of the child himself.
But this is only ideal. In fact, everything is completely different.
Former spouses cannot and do not want to find a common language in matters of upbringing and communication with children. They are not satisfied with the time and order of meetings, games, communication. They threaten each other, causing moral suffering.
How to file for divorce through the State Services, read here.
In such situations, there is only one way out - litigation with the participation of interested parties and representatives of state bodies. The judge needs to make the right decision on the future fate of the minor, take into account all the interests regarding the comprehensive and harmonious development of the child.
In Art. 80 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation establishes the obligations of parents to support their minor children.
The father can deprive the mother of contact with the child only in exceptional cases:
The above grounds are the reason for depriving the mother of parental rights and the right to communicate with the child.
The judge will also be able to take the child away from the mother at the request of the interested parties in the following cases:
The whole essence of the case, the judge must analyze and make a legal decision for the benefit of the child.
Family life has cracked, there is no love, only quarrels and showdowns. But the husband will agree to a divorce, provided that the child remains next to him.
You should not despair under any circumstances. At the court session, all the pros and cons will be studied, witnesses will be questioned, appropriate measures will be taken.
Guided by paragraph 3 of Art. 65 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, when considering these categories of cases, the judge takes into account the interests of children, listening to their opinion. Important components are the age and gender of the child, the nature and interests, the material condition of the father and mother, their characteristics from the places of work and at the place of residence.
When a child reaches 10 years old, he himself can express his opinion and preference with whom he feels best from his parents.
The statistics are such that only 9 cases out of 100, when a child stays with his father after litigation.
The ex-husband will manipulate you in every way to take the child to him. Warnings, written and verbal threats, psychophysical attacks will be used.
Assume that he got his way and the child stayed with him. And what a burden of responsibility for caring for the well-being of the child will fall on his head and shoulders. It will require good nutrition, attention and normal conditions for the development of a growing organism. All this takes a lot of time and effort. One father just can't do it.
Therefore, before taking the child away from the mother, the court will thoroughly examine the material and domestic situation and the moral and psychological atmosphere of both parties. The advantage in the material or everyday situation of one of the parents should not play a decisive role in transferring the child to maintenance and upbringing.
An important role in this matter is played by representatives of guardianship and guardianship authorities, who find out from the child his opinion and desire. If necessary, this can also be clarified in the course of court hearings in a personal conversation and only in the presence of a social pedagogue who has the appropriate qualifications and experience in dealing with children.
The ex-husband, in the course of considering the issue of the residence of the child, will be more interested in personal interest, and not in the interests of the son or daughter. He wants to take revenge on you.
In any situation, behave calmly and balanced, do not pay attention to his words and defiant behavior. He will by all means seek you to make a scandal, swear, get into a fight, behave unworthily. And this can become evidence in court against you. Therefore, think over every word and action.
If the ex-husband begins to show aggression and use violence, you need to record this incident in more detail. Today it is quite simple, because almost everyone has a cell phone with a photo and video camera. Witnesses can also be your relatives, friends, neighbors, who will be able to tell you in detail about what happened.
At the same time, it will be necessary to ensure the presence of witnesses - neighbors, girlfriends, who will be able to confirm the facts in court that the incident and assault took place.
But you do not need to bring the case to the trial of such cases in court with negative consequences.
Try to understand that the former spouse has equal rights with you in relation to a common child. He wants and needs to see and communicate with him. Try to peacefully agree on the time and place of their meeting.
Remember one thing - even the slightest quarrel negatively affects the child as a person, as well as his psyche and health in the future. Sometimes even the women themselves, with their rash acts, bring the case to court.
Try to look at what is happening from a different angle, take your father's place. Despite disagreements with you, every father wants the best for his child.
Quite often, legal proceedings related to the issues of determining the place of permanent residence of a minor child drag on for a long time.
The parties take all necessary measures to defend their rights and achieve the desired result.
When all possible measures have been taken, but there is no result, the former spouse will try to use illegal methods that fall under the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
The former spouse invites witnesses to court hearings who provide false evidence that has no basis. The information relates to the antisocial lifestyle of the mother and her inappropriate behavior with those around you.
In support of your innocence, positive references and characteristics from the place of work, place of residence, testimony of a representative of the guardianship and guardianship authorities can serve.
Fictitious expert opinion on child attachment
There are no exceptions when, with the help of bribes and other property benefits, experts draw up fictitious conclusions at the request of the ex-husband.
The main thing to remember is that it is better to conduct an examination in state expert institutions. In them, the fact of obtaining illegal expertise is reduced to almost zero.
If the examination raises the slightest doubt about its correctness and legality, demand a second examination in another expert institution. This right is yours by law.
Having used all the means and methods to achieve their plan, the fathers begin to manipulate the children with the help of money. This method is especially effective when you are experiencing financial problems and cannot afford expensive toys.
Buying various gifts, phones, modern trinkets, fathers lure children to their side. For them, the mother, with her daily worries and love, fades into the background. They will agree to anything in order to once again see their father with another beautiful toy. The word of the child at the hearing will have a weighty argument.
In this case, only a comprehensive examination of psychiatrists will help, who will confirm the psychological pressure from the father with the help of money and material values.
And what should you do if, regardless of the outcome of legal proceedings, the former spouse illegally takes the child and keeps it with him.
It is urgent to find out in the guardianship and guardianship authorities whether the father contacted them with this question and when.
Having found out the circumstances and realizing that the father took the child against your will and without the consent of representatives of the guardianship and guardianship authorities, you need to contact the police and write a statement about the abduction.
In accordance with paragraph 2 of Art. 1 of the Federal Law "On the Police", employees of the internal affairs bodies immediately come to the aid of anyone who needs her protection from criminal and other unlawful encroachments.
In case of disagreement with the actions of the police, its decisions can be appealed to a higher authority. Your appeal will be considered and appropriate measures will be taken to comply with the law and justice. You also need to keep in touch with representatives of the guardianship and guardianship authorities and inform them of everything that happens.
The best way out of this situation is to come to a consensus with the father on the issue of participation in the upbringing of the child and solve all problems peacefully. The main character in these litigation and conflicts is a child who needs peace and harmony in relationships.
I'm going to file for divorce from my husband. joint child 2 months old is registered with a child, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I live with my parents, the conditions are chic. The husband threatens that he will not give a divorce and, on this basis, will not pay the elements and threatens to take the child. Can he take the child if my son and I are registered with him? and if he doesn't give me a divorce will he pay the items?
Daria, don't worry, it's just blackmail and manipulation. As a general rule, the courts leave the child with the mothers if the latter properly perform parental duties. The court will divorce you even without the consent of your husband, it will simply give 2-3 months for no reconciliation, and then, if you have not reconciled, they will divorce you.
If you have any questions, please contact the chat.
As far as I understand, you have a living space with your parents. How suitable is it for a child to live and what are the conditions there?
I don't think you need to worry about this. If you are working, that is, officially employed, even if you are on parental leave, then I do not think that you have anything to worry about. As you yourself said, you do not lead an immoral lifestyle. And therefore, the husband will have to try to prove in court that the child will be better off with him than with you. However, this applies to both sides.
Simply, if you really intend to file for divorce, de-register at your husband's place of residence and register with your parents. You can file a lawsuit yourself to determine the place of residence of the child with you. In this case, the guardianship authorities will have to inspect the living conditions of both yours and your husband, and make their conclusion. But since the child is small (2 months old), due to the biological needs of the child, he will most likely be left with you.
Furthermore, in accordance with Art. 80 of the RF IC, parents are obliged to support their minor children. The procedure and form of providing maintenance to minor children are determined by the parents independently.
In the event that parents do not provide maintenance for their minor children, funds for the maintenance of minor children (alimony) are collected from the parents in a judicial proceeding.
Thus, if your husband does not fulfill the obligations to support the child, you have the right to file for alimony both during the marriage and if the marriage is dissolved.
Dear Daria Nikolaevna!
In accordance with Art. 22 RF IC:
1. Dissolution of marriage in a judicial proceeding is carried out if the court establishes that further living together spouses and the preservation of the family are impossible.
2. When considering a case on divorce in the absence of the consent of one of the spouses to dissolve the marriage, the court has the right to take measures to reconcile the spouses and has the right adjourn a case by giving the spouses a deadline for reconciliation within three months.
Divorce is made if measures to reconcile the spouses were ineffective And spouses ( one of them) insist on divorce.
Regarding the place of residence of the child, in case of separation of the parents, it is established by agreement of the parents. At the same time, by virtue of paragraph 3 of Art. 65 RF IC:
In the absence of an agreement, the dispute between the parents is resolved by the court based on the interests of children and taking into account the views of children. At the same time, the court takes into account the child’s attachment to each of the parents, brothers and sisters, the age of the child, the moral and other personal qualities of the parents, the relationship that exists between each of the parents and the child, the possibility of creating conditions for the child’s upbringing and development (type of activity, mode of work of parents financial and marital status of parents, etc.).
Thus, do not worry, the court proceeds primarily from the interests of children. Due to the fact that the child a small court will determine the place of residence of the child with the mother. Even in the absence of consent to divorce, you will still be divorced if you insist on dissolution of the marriage. In the statement of claim, additionally state the requirement for the recovery of alimony. So, according to paragraph 1 of Art. 81 RF IC, in the absence of an agreement on payment
alimony alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their
parents monthly in the amount of: for one child one quarter , on
two children - one third, for three or more children - half earnings and
(or) other income of parents. Alimony can also be demanded in a fixed amount of money on the basis of Art. 83 RF IC. Best wishes!
With respect, Nadezhda.
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How can a plaintiff defend himself? ex-wife) from the defendant (ex-husband) in a civil process? My husband is an inadequate person, he threatens with reprisals if I file for divorce and start litigation.
To protect your rights in civil proceedings, you can hire a representative to act on your behalf. It can be both a lawyer and a lawyer. It is in the power of such a specialist to competently represent the interests of his principal, without your direct participation in the process. Thus, personal contact with the defendant during the proceedings can be completely excluded.
I also note that, by virtue of Art. 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm, if there were grounds to fear the implementation of this threat, is punishable by compulsory labor for a term of up to four hundred and eighty hours, or by restriction of liberty for a term of up to two years, or by forced labor for a term of up to two years, or arrest for up to six months, or imprisonment for up to two years.
The first thing you need to do when you receive threats is to get confirmation that you are being threatened. This can be a photo, video, audio recording, an extract with the numbers of incoming numbers on a mobile number (this will help you to assert before the competent authorities about the frequency of such threats), testimonies of witnesses, etc.
If you have been harmed, go to the police or the prosecutor's office, where they will give you a decision to undergo a forensic medical examination. If they don’t give it, go to the emergency room, where the doctor will examine you and issue a certificate of the presence of traces of bodily injuries.
If they refuse to accept your application, or try to dissuade him from filing, complain to the district prosecutor's office. If the police refuse to accept the application or initiate a criminal case, then you must issue a decision to refuse to initiate a case, which can be appealed through the head of the investigating authority, the prosecutor or in court. In any case, the possibility of criminal prosecution often radically changes the behavior of the aggressor to a more loyal or neutral one.
We hope that none of our readers will face such a situation in life! But, alas, those women who experienced threats from a spouse (or ex-spouse), they also hardly believed that this would happen to them - after all, they, too, once married loving man! What to do, if husband threatens(or ex-husband) who to contact and for what help, how to respond to threats- advises the women's site sympaty.net.
First you need to understand that it’s not just “Vasenka is in a bad mood, you have to endure it” or “beats means he loves”!
Threats are illegal and you are absolutely not obliged to do a “good face on a bad game”, listening to all this from your husband!
So, common mistakes that should not be made if the current or ex-husband threatens:
But all of the above, rather, refers to the situation as a whole, which you need to think about with a cold head. And what to do exactly in that the moment when the husband threatens and you feel the danger of fulfilling the threats?
The threat of physical violence is a criminal offense. What the law implies for someone who threatens can be read in Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
Even if there was no divorce between the spouses, this is not a mitigating circumstance - you cannot threaten your wife in the same way as any other, outsider, person.
However, a problem arises - how to prove that there was a threat, and what can law enforcement agencies do to ensure security?
Advice from the site sympaty.net: if a husband threatens and you understand that this is not a one-time surge of emotions, but often repeated words, that you should be seriously afraid - go to the police(police) and ask the local policeman to take threat statement.
Tell as much as possible - what was said, why are you afraid of carrying out the threat, etc. Ask how the police can help in your particular situation, how to ensure your safety.
An application is not yet a lawsuit. If there is no direct evidence of threats, it will probably end up somewhere in the archives.
But! If you want dmake threats and bring this person to justice before the law, then facts will be required - they can be the testimony of witnesses to threats (preferably not relatives, because relatives can be considered interested parties), and best of all - video recordings.
The problem is this - very many husbands threaten their wives in private, without witnesses, rightly arguing that a woman does not want to "clean dirty linen in public." And it’s not always possible to make a hidden camera - how to understand where and when a situation will arise when a “home tyrant” will voice a threat ?!
Therefore, the common advice given by representatives of law enforcement agencies to women who come to write an application for a spouse is wait for the moment when the husband tries to directly implement the threat, and quickly call the police.
If the arriving outfit finds a clearly “abnormal” situation, then, firstly, a strict suggestion will be made to the raging husband at the scene, and secondly, this will already be evidence of an offense and a reason for initiating a criminal case. Also, the basis for starting a trial will be bodily injury, etc.
But. Who would agree so risk yourself- secretly try to call the police, wait 10-20 minutes (and there are situations when these minutes are just a very long time), let alone allow bodily harm ?!
Therefore, unfortunately, in our reality, the words that “saving the drowning is the work of the drowning themselves” are still true ... You decide for yourself whether to build further relationships with this person or leave the husband who threatened you.
Anyway, no need to feel guilty - the law is on your side!
Divorce is always a difficult and painful event. especially when there are children. Unfortunately, children often become a bargaining chip in the process of clarifying the relationship between parents. Wanting to ruin the life of his wife, husband threatens to take the child away, take away, take away, deprive the mother of parental rights And so on.
Not everyone manages to come to a common denominator regarding the upbringing of children after a divorce..
All the good that was between the once in love spouses is forgotten, the need to bring the offspring to adulthood, without injuring them, fades into the background.
Ideally, when, after a divorce, the father continues to take the child to workouts or some classes during the hours when he is free, this way he maintains communication with the baby and unloads the mother. Not bad if such a wise decision comes voluntarily.
Because with young children, divorce occurs in court, then at the court session it is desirable to present a mutual plan for the future life, which will take into account:
However, in a conflict, it is impossible to link all the nuances of communication between children and their father, and then instead of a mutual desire to raise children in a normal environment, the confrontation deepens, a written agreement remains a pipe dream for a mother.
Sometimes the mother is against communication with the father who left the family, and most often it is the father who threatens the mother with trouble, because he wants to see him not on schedule, but when he wants.
The law equally secures the rights and obligations of parents to raise a child (Article 80 of the RF IC). The father will be able to take the baby from the mother if he proves:
This gives grounds for depriving the mother of parental rights.
There are other circumstances that may force the court to settle the baby with the father:
Based on the interests of the baby and protecting them, the court will take into account all the pros and cons and issue its verdict.
Worst of all, if life has turned into hell, and the husband does not give a divorce, threatening to take the child for himself.
The court will certainly sort out all the circumstances, look at documents, evidence, listen to witnesses.
And it will be guided only by the interests of minor offspring in determining with whom it would be better for them to live (clause 3, article 65 of the RF IC). If the child is over 10 years old, then he will also be asked where and with whom he prefers to live.
According to statistics, after a divorce, only in 7-10% of cases, children are left to their father.
Husband's threats to take the cub are nothing more than an attempt to manipulate, here the child is used as an instrument of pressure on the wife. Even if we imagine that dad took the child to himself, then he doesn't have the time or the patience to do all the things that need to be done.
To ensure the normal existence of the offspring, need: wash, iron, learn lessons, buy food and cook healthy and at the same time tasty food (and not pizza and dumplings with scrambled eggs).
In addition, the court will examine the personal qualities of the mother and father, and no one will unreasonably take the children from a woman who leads a normal lifestyle. This is possible only if the mother is deprived of her rights in relation to the child.
Demanding to take the child away from the mother, the father, most likely, is guided not by the interests of his son or daughter, but by a sense of revenge, the desire to make his ex as painful as possible.
When the situation is tense to the limit, a woman should pull herself together and keep calm and sound mind to give no reason to doubt their moral health. The husband is only waiting for his wife:
You should not give a reason and succumb to provocations yourself– it is worth being smarter and thinking ahead.
In case of manifestation of aggression and dissolution of hands, you should immediately call the police and call law enforcement officials.
Wherein it is necessary to provide the presence of witnesses - neighbors, friends who will be able to confirm in court that the incident and assault took place.
Should try again talk to the baby's father and find out what he still wants. At the same time, it will be useful remember yourself that the man, the father of your child, has the right to see him, and if the child is older than 5 years, then take it on a day off. Interfering with communication, the woman herself is on the verge of breaking the law.
If the persuasion and exhortation of the husband is useless, and he intends to separate the mother from the offspring, then it makes sense to change the situation and go on a visit for two to three weeks, and better in another locality.
This will be a test for the spouse and an opportunity to see how he behaves. At the same time, you can’t climb on the rampage, you must always remember: the child and him too, he has the right to know how the baby feels, what his successes are in studies, in sports, etc.
Any violation of the rights of the child on the part of the husband - cruelty, beating - must be recorded by the police by calling a squad to the house.
If the husband is not indifferent to alcohol or is a drug addict, then these facts should also be fixed at least by the protocol of the district police officer. All these measures will help in court so that the child stays with the mother.
Despite the decision of the court the former spouse may decide to take the offspring from the mother. Realizing that the husband took the baby without consent, the woman should:
The application may not be taken on the first day, but still the police have to file a case. If the police persist and refuse to file a case, need to go to higher authorities, ask and beg, but get your way.
You need to fight for your child legally, because if there is a court decision and it is determined that the offspring will live with his mother, and the father will come and communicate, then it turns out that it was he, the father, who violated the law.
In the case when it is not clear where the father hid the baby, you need to ensure that the child is put on the wanted list. The PLO must be notified in writing of the incident.
There is only one way out - negotiate with dad in a good way, and let the baby go for the weekend even if you really don't want to. I can’t decide on the mode of meetings - it’s worth trying to attract PLO workers. And if the court approved this communication, then further - only follow the court order.
Children usually love both mom and dad, and they want to see both of them. Since it so happened that the relationship did not work out, then you need to try not to poison the life of the cub even more, tearing it into two parts.
We greet you! In today's article, we will discuss a situation where the husband threatens with a divorce, but does not get divorced, and it is not known for what reasons he scares and threatens to divorce, just as it is not clear whether he himself wants it or scoffs. There are a great many variations of plots, but we will not list the cases, but take the main aspects, behavioral factors and analyze the psychology of a man “on the shelves” in order to have an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat is happening in his soul and be fully armed.
Statistics show that the majority of men (approximately 58%) tend to create conflict situations from their own subjective assessment of reality, from which they expect a clear, unambiguous action from their spouse, which they do not talk about, and then they themselves suffer. This is from insufficient self-love (see How to love yourself?), what to say about women who are secretly waiting for a male act that they don’t ask for (“Let him guess what I need, he knows and appreciates me, let him prove it!” ), almost 90% of them. Conclusion: psychology is different, and gender differences in behavior are rare.
Important! If a husband is afraid of divorce, more often this is a request for help, affection, showing kindness and tenderness towards him. A man in this aspect is easy to understand, but there are exceptions, which will be discussed below.
Why is my husband threatening divorce? Causes. Does your husband really want a divorce? The husband is threatening divorce. What to do? Quiz: Does your husband love you?
Consider the reasons known to psychologists for why a husband threatens to divorce, but does not get divorced in most cases. Like it or not, but self-doubt, which manifests itself today in threats “If you don’t do this, I’ll leave you!”, Says that a man is not able to achieve results in other ways, which means:
If the above factors are familiar to you, ignore the threats. It is more expedient to bring him to a psychotherapist and make it clear that the reason is laid down in childhood from observations of incorrectly interacting parents or from a catastrophic lack of maternal love. It also affects jealousy (see Husband is jealous for no reason. What to do?) and modeling in the mind of a picture of your betrayal (see Husband accuses of cheating, which was not. What to do?). This reason is the most common and harmless, so we considered it first of all, but do not rush to rejoice!
There are a number of reasons why a husband constantly threatens to divorce. In life, it is easier to hide them, but guesses in the female mind are drawn in the right direction, among them:
As you understand, in threats to divorce, both parties can be guilty, therefore it is more expedient to first pay attention to your behavior without selfishness and to male behavior without prejudice.
Let's imagine for a second a picture where the husband did not like that his wife greeted a passing man - a work colleague. An alarming dialogue began:
Who is this?
Colleague, deals with computers in our uniform.
Did you have something with him?
Why, we don’t even communicate, except for business, don’t talk nonsense!
I? What nonsense? I know society and social poisoning definitely does not inspire any confidence in me!
Does that mean you think I give to everyone I meet?
Then don't sign! And then he says hello to some leftist! I am your husband, you are only ordered to greet me!
Well, my lord, hello!
Are you still kidding? Do you want me to leave you? Do you want to stay alone and raise Oleg and Katya alone?
Why immediately blackmail something?
Because you don't get it any other way! Once again I see that you are looking at others, I will file for divorce without hesitation!
A typical example of blackmail, where the husband threatens with a divorce, what to do says, brings up. But does the husband want a divorce? No. He tries to manipulate his wife for his own peace of mind, not knowing that the cause of the neurosis is in no way directly related to his wife who greeted her colleague. A simple way out of the situation is humility and submission for the sake of saving the integrity of the family, which is why many ladies look depressed and tired of marriage.
As mentioned above, it is necessary to treat a jealous ailment of a man, then the threats will stop.
Another example:
Are you not a man? Buy me that necklace for my birthday!
Diana, do you understand that we are in a bad financial situation right now?
Why haven't you approached your boss yet to ask for a promotion?
It's hard to reach him. The company's profit is formed in such a way that there is no extra money for salary indexation!
Well, you ... ... ... ..., it’s not for nothing that my mother told me that you wouldn’t make a normal husband and dad!
Enough! The money that I earn is enough for all your needs and your whims, so you live in chocolate, you don’t work ...
- … … … …
If you don’t stop, sooner or later I will break loose and leave the marriage, the children will be mentally healthier ...
Here we observe psychological pressure on the spouse. Does the husband want a divorce in this story? No, but the thought slips at the moment of "boiling". The way out of the plot is simple: to begin to appreciate what is and is being done today for a woman and a family by a man.
There is no need to consider the visualization of diverse conflicts, because the husband constantly scares with divorce only with two types of psychological pressure:
In both cases, one can resort to the only true psychological technique: to answer “Do you want to get a divorce? Get a divorce! Let's go to the registry office tomorrow and file an application!
The method is justified and teaches values to poor minds:
So that you are not afraid once again of the aggressive actions of your spouse, take the test prepared by us to find out the coefficient of his love. The accuracy of the result depends on the honesty of the answers.
If you have any questions, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!
2love.pro
If your husband indicates the reason for the divorce only in calls, why don't you experiment and call him for at least a week, for example? As you have already started doing.
See, observe, after what time the husband will call himself, what will he say, will his intention to divorce change? Or maybe, on the contrary, he will have time to get bored during this time? Then he began to tell me that my brother's wife calls once every 4 days and that this is normal. Maybe it's normal for a brother's family. And you asked how many times it is normal for your husband to call? One gets the feeling that the husband is nervous when he sees annoying (as he perceives) calls from you. Have you tried talking to him about what's going on with him at work? Is everything all right there? Maybe he feels pressure and guilt when you try in vain to get through to him? I consider our reason for divorce to be simply childish. I'm sure the reason for the divorce lies much deeper than the calls. Have you talked to him about how you feel when you lack communication? How is your relationship with your husband going? Do you express your resentment, dissatisfaction, claims to him, or do you manage to build communication in a different way?
Perhaps you should slow down with calls for now and try to have a serious talk with him. How to better prepare for the dialogue, the article will help: https://psyhelp24.org/tyazhelyj-razgovor/
Wish you luck! Sincerely,
psychologist Irina Shashkova
psyhelp24.org
We greet you! There are many different situations in which the wife constantly threatens with a divorce, but does not file, however, she tries with all her might on purpose or not to bring her husband out and make him think whether it is true or a lie, plays on feelings or really prepares for the breakdown of relationships - today's article is dedicated to men, who do not understand the real reasons for such behavior of the chosen one.
In our practice, we have come across plots that are difficult to logically lend themselves to (it is understandable, women themselves are not always able to explain their behavior). If you say “Okay, let's get a divorce”, in response you will hear a sharp “What are you oh ****?”, If you try to calm her down, you will increase her egoism, as a result, the man suffers, is nervous, worries.
In order for you to be able to competently approach your situation, you need to calm down and completely distance yourself from your spouse (turn off the phone and go to a safe distance, for example, to your mother’s apartment). You have a detailed analysis of what is happening and summing up, if the wife is nearby, you will only have to dream of a rational decision. And remember that upon returning home, when the chosen one asks: “Where have you been?”, honestly say that you were considering a joint future with her.
- The wife threatens with a divorce, but does not file. Should I be afraid? Why is the wife threatening divorce? – What to do and how to react? Methods. – Test. Does the wife love?
Women are always more complex, which means that rational thought comes with difficulty, this is due to the fact that their primary “trump card” is the hormonal background, and after that, brain activity. Remember the monthly "red cycle" days, in which they are always over-irritable and inadequate. This is not an insult at all, these are facts that will have to be supported when analyzing relationships.
How to understand a situation in which a wife constantly threatens her husband with divorce, but does not file because of some of her own fears or tenderness? You should not get hung up on just this, since getting a divorce is much easier than doing domestic service, even if you feel a strong attachment to your spouse.
If a wife threatens her husband with divorce, scares, threatens, then he first of all needs to evaluate today's life (his own and his wife's) in order to understand who will have a higher quality of life alone (separately from each other). The spectrum of attribute analysis fits the following:
There is no need to be afraid of a divorce, no matter what troubles arise after it with you. You should not see a queen in your wife when she periodically gives you psychological discomfort - this kills a man in a man, he becomes more whiny.
If you think that you are not able to let go of the missus, read: Wife filed for divorce. What to do?
There are a great many reasons why a wife is constantly afraid of divorce, and almost all of them are several blackmailing ones. Blackmail is a well-known method of manipulation. Why should he give in? This is a separate issue, which will be discussed below. As for the reasons, psychologists note the following:
When a wife scares you with a divorce, it is very exhausting and subconsciously you are already ready for separation, so as not to succumb to daily neuroses, but is it possible to interpret her behavior as arrogant or pathetic (asking for help and support)? You will succeed if you have been together for many years and treat her actions and words without prejudice. If not, then it is better to shift the matter to a psychotherapist, one consultation will be enough.
There are several "Male" methods aimed at identifying the true causes and at destroying the desire to repeat the unfortunate discussions, after which the wife threatens with divorce, scares and threatens with the loss of various kinds of values.
"Do you really want a divorce? If yes, then get a divorce, I don’t want to share my life with a woman who doesn’t love me! I'll deal with the rest somehow. If not, then I must not hear it again, otherwise the next time the conversation will end on your proposal! (This form of monologue will take her by surprise, because she wanted to set a condition, and you blocked it with yours, making it clear that you are ready to sacrifice marriage for your peace of mind).
Ignoring with ridicule, and after the words: “I found out how the registry office works, we can go tomorrow and apply, only in any case they will give a month for reflection, but you can live this month with your mother (if the apartment before marriage is registered in your name, if not, then say that you have already found a place to live) ”(This will calm the wife and make her think about the next month and the future life without you. If she values \u200b\u200b, she will come in a few minutes with an apology, if not, don’t worry, a real man will always win). Read: How to survive a divorce with your wife? | How do ex-wives behave after a divorce?
From a joke: A woman comes to a psychotherapist and says: “Sometimes my husband claims that he is the head of the family! Does he have delusions of grandeur? (so that you understand, the husband is the head, so do not succumb to pathetic blackmail manipulations!)
So that you can check how much your spouse is attached to you, we have prepared a test to determine the coefficient of her love. For accurate results, give direct and honest answers.
If you have any questions on the topic “wife threatens divorce”, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!
Did the article help? Save yourself!
2love.pro
Hello Tatiana! You do not directly voice your request to the site. But write about your desire to save the family (it seems, mainly because of the child), understanding the condition of children in an incomplete family. It is noticeable that you are a smart, modest and cordial woman. Don't complain, just talk. This indicates a sense of self-worth. You also casually expressed your feelings of resentment towards your husband. Quite understandable.
It is very likely that your husband is taking advantage of your meekness and is trying to manipulate you. Either he checks his feelings, or he manages the family budget alone. But it is desirable for you to understand that your share of participation is also present in this. And specifically - all 50%. It seems that you are hindered by the fear of losing your family (although you did not write about it, but only about the threat of divorce from your husband, which indirectly indicates the presence of fear). The husband sees your hesitation and presses. The fact that he leaves under the guise of earning money and, without hesitation, drinking beer and smoking expensive cigars, is nothing more than an increase in this pressure. He behaves rudely and sharply, also from the methods of protection. He seems to be feeling weak. A weak person is capable of meanness. Therefore, it is advisable for you now to strengthen your position and firmly stand on your position, to be confident in your actions. How else? After all, you are not only an obedient wife, a kind mother, but also a working woman and have every right to repulse extortion even own husband.
Remember that you did not learn all the lessons from your childhood family. In your case, not all things are called compromises, it's just common sense. Learn to be an adult. And trust life - you can't save anything if it's not yours. Nothing needs to be saved, yours will always remain with you.
Sincerely!
Timofeeva Galina Anatolyevna, psychologist Ivanovo
No couple throughout their married life can do without conflicts. Sometimes discord takes on the most diverse forms and, as recent statistics show, often leads to the breakdown of marital relations. The initiative for divorce may belong to any of the spouses, but the wife more often than the husband tries to save the marriage. She resorts to various tricks, and even threatens to break up. Is it possible to consider such a way to influence the husband effective, let's try to figure it out.
First you need to find out what caused the family crisis. Based on this, they judge the possibility and expediency of continuing marital relations. In general, the reasons for divorce are as follows:
This is not a complete list of possible problems, these are considered the most common.
Advice from friends, psychologists, attempts to improve relationships on their own - the arsenal of a wife who wants at any cost. It is not uncommon for a woman in a quarrel to blackmail her partner, saying that she will file for divorce. Experts in the field of marital relations almost unanimously argue that this is not a constructive solution. When a woman threatens her husband with a break in relations, he regards this as a challenge, and is really ready to take such a step, even if it contradicts his plans. Here, the differences between male and female psychology are clearly manifested. When a wife only threatens divorce, she wants to express her own grievances, jealousy and encourage her husband to change his behavior. And he analyzes the specific actions that need to be taken to implement the divorce.
Based on real stories women, having met in life with a crisis of marital relations, we will try to model the behavior of spouses in different conditions.
The most important thing in family life is to maintain mental contact, not to lose points of contact. In order to avoid situations that could lead to divorce, both partners must make efforts to maintain a harmonious relationship. Don't shoot from the shoulder. Experience says that there is almost always an amicable way out of the situation. It should be borne in mind that if a woman threatens with a divorce, then this will not bring benefits to her in the long run. It is worth declaring this to a partner if the spouse is really determined to stop communicating with him.
